Gave my number / got hers — no reply yet. What’s going on? Honest advice please?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone, I’d really appreciate your female perspective on this.

I visited a football match in a village recently. I met two lovely women:

1) One was the soccer football goalkeeper’s girlfriend. We chatted briefly, I mentioned he saved a penalty in the second half which she missed watching. I showed my phone playfully to add her contact — and she dialled her own number herself while sitting in her car. I texted her a thoughtful, respectful message later that day — introducing myself, mentioning the match, complimenting her dress, wishing her a nice evening, and hoping we could chat sometime. No pressure at all.

2) The other was a young mum with a little girl. We spoke briefly, I asked politely if she’d text me — she promised she would and took my number instead of giving hers right then.

It’s now been roughly two and a half days and neither has messaged me yet.

I’m confused because — especially with the first girl — she actively typed her own number in and called my phone. That felt like a clear sign she wanted to hear from me. My message was long but sincere, kind, and respectful — nothing pushy at all.

My questions to you:

• Do women ever type their number into a guy’s phone and then never reply? If so — why?

• Is my message possibly too long / too much? Or does silence usually mean “not interested” even if they gave their contact freely?

• What about the mum who promised to text — do single mums simply get too busy to follow up even if they want to?

I’m not being pushy, I’m waiting patiently — I’d just love to understand what might be going on from your side. Thank you so much! 🙏

[HollyK21]

With the goalkeepers girlfriend — for one, she’s already taken so your text message complimenting her along with offering to chat sometime, fully showed your hand and true intention of trying to pursue her bs simple friendship. Feel how you want about this fact, it doesn’t matter how you try rewording or justifying it, she wasn’t born last night, it’s just obvious what you were actually trying to do.


With the single mom — could have been a vibe shift. Maybe she was open to the idea initially but thought better of it after.


In either of those cases though, I’d ultimately chop them up to social politeness. Even if there was zero pressure on your end, they still felt inclined to give you their numbers to avoid an awkward and/or confrontational moment. Direct rejection for some people is highly uncomfortable, and they try avoiding it. Like with the girlfriend, I think there’s this unspoken knowledge amongst many women that if you give a guy your number face to face he’s going to try and call it. No use using a fake, then having to face the awkwardness if he calls right there and it’s wrong. You were fairly eager, although you wrote it off as a joke, but could’ve added pressure giving her your phone.


Ultimately these are my takes of this combined. No one route is fact, just assumptions.

[HollyK21]

**vs simple friendship

[RachyRach]

The footballers girlfriend is in a relationship so may never respond.

The mom may not have had time to text back as yet.

[Nikki1989]

He is an idea; try talking.

It is quite astounding people get a phone number and the first thing they think of is a pointless text message.

[Abbycado]

She may have been trying to be polite

[Abbycado]

I mean polite by "I will take your number and look like I am interested even though I'm not" type of play.