There was a guy I met on dating app, I ended it after a brief time of talking bc I just felt like he was closed off while leaving a relationship a year ago and maybe there’s no romantic spark. We agreed to be friends. We haven’t spoken for a month. I texted him about going through life stuff including a recent guy who just ended things.. we spoked on call for until late hours.. we got to know each other better and I was confuse how I felt. I did asked if he was seeing anyone or what he’s looking for in a girl. He asked me why did I asked. I didn’t tell the real reason is bc I’m curious of him, but I made it more sound like just friends bc I felt confuse and maybe I’ll be unfair with the timing. He also told me he is guarded, slow, and cautious because of his last relationship.
He texted me the next day (yesterday) good morning and we messaged all day. I talked to him like a friend being my playful self and did through a few subtle playful romantic openings, but he didn’t take my playful openings. But he texted me all day, follow up questions to know me better, and kinda playful back. He works night shift, so I asked if he want me to stay up or sleep. He told me to sleep which I took that as a rejection… He hasn’t text me at all today… does he not know I might be interested because I texted him all day yesterday? I could tell he was interested when we spoked on the phone, but is he now not interested anymore?
He texted me the next day (yesterday) good morning and we messaged all day. I talked to him like a friend being my playful self and did through a few subtle playful romantic openings, but he didn’t take my playful openings. But he texted me all day, follow up questions to know me better, and kinda playful back. He works night shift, so I asked if he want me to stay up or sleep. He told me to sleep which I took that as a rejection… He hasn’t text me at all today… does he not know I might be interested because I texted him all day yesterday? I could tell he was interested when we spoked on the phone, but is he now not interested anymore?
Updates
19 h
I asked during our call if he is ready for a relationship, which he says he don’t think he is bc it’s hard to be vulnerable after his last relationship. I asked does that mean he’s just looking for a fling on the dating app, which he denies. Then I called him out what is he looking for bc he said 2 diff things. He said he wants a long term relationship but not ready for settling because he’s not there in his career/financial yet bc that’s what most women wants and it’s not easy for vulnerability
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I don’t think this is about whether or not he knows you’re interested — you matched on a dating app so obviously there’s got to be some level of interest. What matters are both of your intentions, and if they’re any good or not. You left him in the first place alone because you felt like he was closed off, and I’m not sure why you’d think that this would change in one month. He said himself he’s still guarded, slow and cautious, which to me does not sound like a man who’s changed, or one who is genuinely looking to date a woman. Instead he most likely just wants what he can get from her, whether that’s attention, casual sex or even just having some company. You on the other hand sound like you genuinely would like to connect with a guy and pursue something. So if that is what you want, then it makes the most sense to find a guy who you know wants the same thing. Right now, you don’t know what this dude wants from you, so you should definitely ask. There’s no use falling for someone who is emotionally unavailable.
Per your update, I would definitely be done with him. Simply put — he doesn’t want a relationship but he wants the benefits that come with one. He’s trying to relay this to you in a way that doesn’t completely run you off and instead you’re being breadcrumbed. Breadcrumbing is basically when someone gives you just enough hope and optimism to make you stick around but never actually officiate things with you. Which to me isn’t a good guy to deal with. You may only have a crush on him right now, which is the best time to leave, instead of letting those feelings grow into love and then it’s much harder to walk away. I’m sure you’re tried of dating and trying to find a man but there are much better candidates out there with far less baggage.
Is this really the issue? Or maybe you didn’t like him like that in the beginning, you thought you could find better but you couldn’t so now you’re coming back to him w all those excuses as to why you ended it.
You know for women saying rheyre better communicators you women sure as hell don’t commutative to men that you’re interested. You drop hints then when he doesn’t get the hints you’re mad at him. Use your big girl words. You friend zoned him once, now you’re coming back and trying to drop hints or hope that he picks up on you liking him as more than friends. And women wonder why men have no clue. Because you’re all over the map. Instead of going from A-Z women want to go to A then tix then to C, oh let’s swing back around to F then maybe to Z.