Nervous of the awkwardness meeting an online date?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy on an online dating site, he's 25, I'm 19. We added each other on Facebook and we've been chatting and im'ing online for a good long while. He then messaged me his number and asked for mine, he wants to meet up for drinks sometime he said. The thing is I am really nervous about him, so much so that I'm almost thinking of ignoring him!

How will get over my nervousness of meeting him? I mean what do I do when I meet him there, hug him, shake his hand?who pays for the drinks, will I offer to pay when he asks what do I want to drink? I am so scared of the awkwardness on the date, as this is my first time doing this kind of thing - please help!

[Tryce]

If you really feel that something is shady about him, its best to go with your instincts before something bad actually happens. And what do you mean by drinks? In the United States, you have to be 21+ in order to buy an alcoholic drink (legally). When you here someone say "I'll buy you a drink" its more likely they're referring to alcohol since those are more expensive at the bar.

Yes, seeing that the age gap between you two, and the fact that you guys met informally off the Internet, would be something I would be nervous about too. All I can say is take things slow with him. When you see him rush a little speed-dating with you, make sure you let him know that you control his "game" and he's just the "player" trying to beat the "boss".

To me, I don't usually trust online relationships unless I'm talking to that one person for more than a few months, and its like... LEGIT talking (one that isn't about sex all the time, but who you are and how you guys view things). Don't forget that you still don't know this guy. He may show a "good guy" face, but you still don't know how he'll react when he's mad or sad about something... first time hanging out is all about FIRST IMPRESSIONS. Make sure he gives you a first impression that you can feel confident and comfortable around that person. Otherwise, RUN!

[anandthepilot]

Girl it completely depends on your feelings for this guy. Lets just take a scenario where you meet this guy .. just tell him hello ,shake hand and don't kissss... he ll think that you are an easy catch..Dont go for drinks and all that .. I d say you can just go for a decent lunch or dinner.. talk .. then may be if you feel you like him ... then probably meet him up again and do the samething.. once you are comfortable and you start developing those feeelings for him then I think you shud take the next step ...However , if you feel uncomfortable and if you feel that he isn't the guy then just ignore him.. Hope this helps my lady.

[kheserthorpe]

Where I live, drinks would be much more normal then a meal for a first meeting.

[Darkfairie17]

Well, just try not to be nervous, I know it's hard but you are just meeting someone. I have done this many times, nerves get worked up. But it's best to just go in there thinking that you are just meeting a friend. You don't know if this guy is right for you yet, you haven't really met him in person, so don't work yourself up too much :)

Just go in there focusing on just having a good time. If you two hit it off, great! If not, no big deal, at least you did something that night other than lay around the house. Sometimes a drink or a coffee date can be a little intimidating because you have to think of things to talk about. Maybe see if you two can do an activity, like bowling, mini golf, art gallery, etc... You can always find things to talk about doing something and the gaps in conversation won't seem as awkward.

From the conversations you have had with him, think of things to ask him about. Ask him about school if he is going, about work, about favorite books, music, movies, favorite alcohol since you two are going out for drinks.

For the first meeting, I think both people should just pay for their own. But if you feel comfortable offering to pay, it always looks good :)

[Anonymous]

RELAX.

Don't shake hands, don't hug him. Do-make eye contact, smile and say "hi." sit close to him, but not touching. (unless he leans in or offers his hand, but that's unlikely).

Order what you want & offer to pay when the check comes..or at least your share.

[Belindababe]

It's just a meet for drinks...you're not getting tattoos or lip piercings in commemoration of one another. Relax. Geeze.

Yes, shake his hand. You can always hug him later, if warrented. If he asks you what you to drink, then let him pay. If he doesn't say anything or if the waiter-waitress just asks...play it cool...and see how the time goes...paying for drinks isn't the object ... getting to know him is.

Again...relax. It could be just as difficult on him as you. But don't worry. You're not going to have sex on the table ... you're just meeting him for a drink or two...and see how it goes.

[kheserthorpe]

Either hug, or just smile and sit down.

Its a date.

You offer to pay your own share. He may or may not want to pay for you. You may or may not accept that.

Relax, have fun.

[foolycooly1001]

A hug would be good. Offering to pay would be nice.