Is it true that you never stop loving your first love?

[Anonymous]

My current boyfriend has an ex that he dated 3 years ago. They dated for 5 years on and off, and they ended because she lied about being pregnant..

He talks about how much that hurt him, when I asked him about it.

I said "Do you still love her?" His response was "I will always love her" I said "why?" he says "because she was my first love"

I said "Okay, so if you saw her now, and she wanted to get back together, would you?" and he said "No, I wouldn't" and I asked why and he said "Because I don't know her anymore"

Then I asked him "did you want kids?" he said "we never talked about it, but when she told me, I was ready. But I'm not ready for kids right now" and I asked "why?" he said "because we are barely making it now, money wise, I don't want to raise a kid where I can't give it everything it wants"

What does all this mean?

[ginge129]

well the first love is very important its the first person you truly care about and while a lot of times it doesn't work out its the experience for future relationships and it gives you a tast of what's to come in future, more serious relationships. I'd say its natural he doesn't want kids they are a huge respoonsibility and you want the best for them a lot of people feel that if they can't give their kids everything they want they're failures. now I could be wrong but that's what I think

[SkyPilot]

I'd love to see my first love, she taught me so much, she was 21 I was 18. I most definitely have good memories, but still love her?.in a way I suppose by not like then and not like I love my GF.

[Asker]

But what should I think about the kids comment?

Is that a bad sign that he said he didn't want kids right now.

Could it be that he doesn't see a future with me?

[SkyPilot]

I doubt it. I hope he's being responsible and recognizing that at your ages and your probable income levels it would be wiser to wait to bring children into this economy. Maybe he realizes what child care costs are today and understands that you'll probably both need to work to provide and leave a baby in the care of someone else.

He actually sounds like he might have his head in a good place.. and is looking forward to the future with you and babies..:-)

[bobbi789]

I think he remembers his first love fondly for what she was when they were together. He's probably describing the sentimental value of someone's first love vs. actually having feelings for her like a girlfriend. That's how I feel about my first love, at any rate. As for the question about kids, he explained that clearly.

[Anonymous]

I had a first love.. I was convinced I'd never get over her. It took me one 1/2 years to get over her and I went on to love again. That one took me 2 years to get over.. So no, you absolutely can stop loving your first love.

[Anonymous]

I remember my first love fondly, but I wouldn't say I still love him.

[Anonymous]

Not true at all.