I was a late bloomer. I didn’t date in high school. My first boyfriend wasn’t until I was 18. But I didn’t love him.
A few months in I broke up with him and moved to Argentina for a couple years to live with family. Toward the end of my time there, living in a small town I found myself falling for someone. I never thought it was possible. Shortly after, I returned home.
While I was adjusting to life back at home my parents were in the middle of a split. I was 20 and my other 4 siblings were all gone living in other states. But he kept in contact with me. He comforted me and he was there for me. We became virtually inseparable. My dad wanted me to find someone here in the US but I couldn’t be bothered.
6 months after being home I saved up and went back to surprise him. I loved him. And he loved me. We spent 2 weeks doing everything together. I can still remember the first time he kissed me. It felt like my first kiss ever, and it might as well have been seeing as it had been 3 years since my last one.
Life was blissful being back in Argentina with him. But I had to go home again. And the night before I left he told me he couldn’t hold me back and we broke up. The bus ride leaving town back to the airport felt like it ripped my body away from my heart.
I mourned him for years. I looked for him in ever man I dated. And we still kept in contact. We almost got back together. But he found someone new.
a couple years later I am married and he got his girlfriend pregnant. I can’t help but feel jealous. And I can’t seem to shake the live I have for him to this day. It’s not fair to my husband.
do you ever get over your first love?
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Duuude, that's intense. First loves are so hard to get over, man. Sounds like what you had was really special.
But you gotta let it go for your own good, and for your husband's sake too. It ain't fair to him if you're still hung up on someone else. Even if you miss what you had, you can't go back. Dwelling on the past won't change it.
My advice would be let yourself feel the sad feelings when they come up. But don't ruminate on it - just accept it, cry if you need to, then try redirecting your focus. Stay busy with other stuff to keep your mind occupied. Spend extra time connecting with your husband too.
Talking about it can help get it out of your system. Maybe try journaling your memories and emotions to process them out. With time it'll hurt less. And one day you'll be able to look back with fondness instead of pain. You'll always have that first love as a special part of your history, but you gotta make a new present and future now. It sucks, but you got this! Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
You don't forget, but for most people it becomes a chapter in your life that was. Unless there was "unfinished business" between the two of you, like if the breakup was because of a misunderstanding that could have been cleared up had you realized it at the time, or something. Then there can be a problem, because there's a feeling like "it wasn't over for me. It wasn't the end."
Lots of people go past their mid twenties and still never been with anyone