How do I stop hurting my boyfriend?

Anonymous
Hello... I am writing it anonymously cause I really need an advice. I am in a relationship with an amazing person. He is everything I’ve ever dreamed for. He is kind, considerate, attentive, loving, caring. Everything is perfect. He can always make me happy. He is the type of person I love more and more everyday because I see how he loves me and how he cares for me. Since the beginning of our relationship, I only have eyes for him. It feels like he is the only man and I don’t want to go close to any other men but him. He is my first love and I am his first love.

However, last time he feels sad and hurt because he thinks I flirted with my friend, actually this friend is just casual online friend, I’ve never been interested in him or never liked him. I don’t even see him as a man. I blocked this guy because I don’t want him to feel hurt and jealous anymore. But he wants to read the conversation between us, before meeting my boyfriend I’ve talked about my problems with that guy, never liked him, just I needed someone to listen to me. I told him about very painful memories of my life. My boyfriend wants to read our messages but I am worried and scared he will be hurt to read the story of my hard childhood, very painful memories... I don’t want him to feel pity for me. However he thinks I hide this conversation because I flirted with that guy, that’s not true.

I don’t know how to comfort him, he doubts my words, I love him more than everything. I don’t want him to doubt me because I am true to him, I am honest and sincere with him. I never flirt with anyone, haven’t even liked anyone after meeting him. He’s the perfect man for me. Could you give me some advices?
How do I stop hurting my boyfriend?
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