My boyfriend really hurt me what can I do?

[Anonymous]

Long story short. My boyfriend was crying. I told him I needed him to be strong for me. It wasn’t a close personal loss or anything like that. But I need him to be strong. I have enough emotions of my own.

His response he told me what a horrible mother I would make because if he can’t cry then I couldn’t handle a child because of how not nurturing I am.

I can’t even describe the hurt and pain that I feel inside right now. Maybe I should have let him cry. I don’t know.

We are still technically together I guess. But things have been super weird between us since the incident.

He told me he was sorry and I told him I was sorry. I just am not very good at being around someone with a lot of emotions.

[Anonymous]

You not being good at being around someone with a lot of emotion is your problem that you need to fix. He (and nobody else for that matter) doesn’t have to stop crying and be strong to make you more comfortable or so that you don’t have to deal with their emotions because you have your own. That’s a shit thing to imply. And he’s not wrong. You can’t be like that when/if you have kids or else they’re going to end up bottling their emotions up and be like you - completely unable to handle others and their own emotions. Possibly if their dad was emotionally intelligent and very involved daily it could mitigate things but they’d then still say my mom was emotionally unavailable when I grew up and list how it affected and still affects them in adulthood. Their dad would be the one they’d go to with anything they needed to talk about, never you or the both of you. There would always be some distance between you in your relationship. You need to break this generational cycle and you do that by working hard on yourself with a prefessional therapist starting now before you have kids.

[Anonymous]

Lol Damn talk about being supportive. He has a point as far as you being a mother. This is why men should never cry in front of their girl because women lose respect for a man when he does. In their mind they say they want a man who’s emotional but can’t say exactly when is it too emotional that now I don’t find you attractive. Isn’t it 2023? I mean hell he can’t have problems of his own because he has to deal w all your issues? You’re a grown woman why can’t you deal w your own issues the way you’re expecting him to deal w his on his own? Why is it ok for you to be emotional but he can’t? I mean you’re equal right? That’s what society says. Well that’s what a lot of women say. I think he deserves someone better. You just negated his feelings but said he has to acknowledge yours. If he can’t resolves his issues w your help or on his own however he chooses to, how do you expect him to be there to help you w yours? He’s going to resent you for this. All it did was pave a way for him to be quiet about things when it comes to his feelings, making you mad cause he won’t open up. Because the one time he needed you, you shut him down. This is why men don’t talk when things like cheating come up, better to just keep your mouth shut because she’s not going to listen to what you have to say.

[RasmusAiken]

If you stay together, agree to couples' counseling. Both of you need more insight into the dynamics.

[Summeroflove]

Maybe he was harsh. But he has a point. Men are people too with emotions. If you died would you want him to cry?

[Anonymous]

Typical. He actually needed your support and you made it all about you. Why shouldn't a man get emotional support from a woman. If not, what good are they except sexual activities?

[Avicenna]

Don't let this break you up

[Iron_Man]

You guys need to try to work it out