Why did my guy friend kiss me on the lips?

My guy friend and I are very close, and we flirt a good bit. He's been seeing a woman for a while, but in the last few months he told me it's just from time to time. He says he is trying to figure out what is going on with their relationship. He is in his early 40's.

A few weeks ago, I saw him a couple of times and in each instance we hugged goodbye. We wrapped our arms all the way around each other, with our bodies in full contact. And each time he kissed me on the lips, about 3 or so right in a row. They lasted a few seconds each. Not exactly passionate, if you know what I mean, but not just a peck either.

Aside from spending one night together a few years ago, we rarely hug and we never kiss goodbye.

Shortly before any of this hugging and kissing happened, I told him I am interested in having a sexual relationship again, if he ends up breaking up with his girlfriend. Much to my disappointment, he said no. He said he doesn't want to risk losing our friendship by doing that. And he reminded me that he is mixed up about his girlfriend right now. So why did he hug and kiss me?

We are supposed to be going hiking next week, and I don't want things to be awkward. What should I say to him, if anything? Is he playing me or could he be working up to having an honest (no other girlfriend) relationship with me? Lastly, I will admit that I even suggested a friends with benefits situation, but he still said no. Does he respect me and our friendship that much to say no to FWB? If that's the case, again, what's with the hugs and kisses?

Please, don't judge me about the FWB. This is already difficult enough for me. I don't think I could do it anyway. It's just a reflection of how strong my attraction to him is. More than anything, though, I cherish our friendship. But if he called me tonight to have some fun, I'd get out my party panties and be there in a second. Please help, I'm so conflicted. If I were completely without ethics, I wouldn't be asking for advice. Thanks so much.


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  • A few questions before I can give you an accurate answer. Has your guy friend ever been married or in a really long LT relationship with kids? How many girls does he screw around approximately in a year?

    • I get it, but he has 2 kids from a marriage, then was in a long relationship before his current one. Actually, the long relationship person is somewhere in the background. He has admitted to being a bit of a player, and we flirt even though I know he has a girlfriend, as I stated above. When we slept together that one time I wasn't sure of his relationship status. I think he is getting better with age as far as being a player, but still, the xo's with me. What do you think are his intentions?

  • Lmfaoooo, your too cute! And I know smh God knows..I think if anybody on this site feel what you saying it's me! And yeah he seem like maybe he likes you an want to see where things go.

    Lol.omg, but the thing about your "party pantie" is so right! For this guy I like I feel the exact same way!. And just saying the whole friends with benefits thing I totally understand too. I don't think your wrong you just wanna show him how much you care and want him, seems like your willing to wait for him so id say cutie...be patient ull have a time to express your feelings for him soon ..I'll be praying for ya good luck

    • Thanks for your insight. I should say that in the past he has been a bit of a player-not a lot, but still. I know for sure he has worked on that, and he hasn't been a classic player in a long time i.e. juggling several girls at once. Now, to the best of my knowledge, it's me, the girlfriend mentioned above and possibly, just possibly, one that he was in for many years. His two daughters adore him as a dad, and I think he is a good person at heart. Do you still feel as positive about this?

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