Polls: Dating

So my roommate’s bf’s best friend is super attractive and checks off a lot of my boxes personality & life desires wise. I very much want to pursue something with him, but I’m super nervous since I’m in my mid/late 20s & have only ever had 1 boyfriend (who I dated off & on for a few months at a time for a few years, v toxic), he’s 1.5 years younger than me & has only ever had 1 girlfriend (only dated her for a couple months), & we’re also in a friend group together. I have more hookup experience than him, but I don’t really have a lot of dating experience, especially not healthy dating experience. The few times I have dated in the past, I’ve been told that I’m too clingy or move too fast to be serious bc I’m very touchy when I like someone. My love language is physical touch & sex is how I express a lot of affection, & sex early on doesn’t mean I’m not trying to be serious, it means I’m interested in you. If I can’t express myself in that way, then we’re not compatible.

He invited me over to his place the other night to watch some tv, & I went over & we drank some wine. I was holding his hand, put my head on his shoulder, cuddled up next to him, etc. I was expecting him to make the next move if he was interested in doing so. I’m very nervous about making all the physical moves bc I’ve been told in the past that I’m too cuddly & too physical. Well, he has even less experience than me & I don’t think he really knows how or when to move it to the next level. Long story short, I ended up leaving the other night without so much as a kiss from him, despite me being very cuddly. He seemed receptive to me touching him and when I even asked if I was doing too much he told me no, he just didn’t make a move to move things forward.

Is he uninterested & just wanting the attention? Or does it seem like he’s nervous too?

We dated for 4 years but I've been feeling detached and disappointed in him so much already. I love him that's why it's so hard to leave but I don't feel like we're compatible. I feel kinda numb now and want to spend this time apart to think if I really still want this relationship and if it can bring us closer together.

28F, I know maybe not as much as someone friendly but it still happens. There’s a lot of shy women that are taken, I’m told I’m attractive but considering my age & the fact I’ve never had a real relationship is just strange. I’m not the friendliest person, I get matches on the dating apps often but I feel like I had to go that route bc I’m never noticed in person. Well, I’m told guys look at me but they never do anything about it.. hate to sound self deprecating but the fact I’ve never been approached by a guy I’d actually want to date hurts my self esteem. It seems like my lack of relationship experience is just bad luck considering a lot of shy women are happily taken.

But they proceed to message you somewhere else saying they care about you and have done for a long time.
What do you think of this?

During the six month of our dating , I couldn’t send him steamy photos because I feel uncomfortable. Because I felt like it is really risky and I talked to him about it. And he said it is okay , even if I don’t send him any, he will just mind his own business ( get satisfaction by himself ) but it really make me feel guilty. I feel like I am too young for him, and I really feel bad for him, I feel like he deserves better, What should I do?

I'm asking if you would ever pass up on someone even if you're confident in the short term because you feel like you wouldn't be good enough in the long term. If so, please share your experience. What were/are you confident/unconfident about?

Maybe you're confident for whatever reason at first impressions, maybe you're at least somewhat good looking with a few good jokes but in the long term you're just broke, irresponsible or boring.

Maybe you're just really good with words in the beginning because you've gone on lots of first dates but you always get it wrong on following dates.

Which one do you do?

Personally, I prefer befriending someone first to get to really know them and develop romantic feelings for them before I would agree to go on a date with them.

Also, is it a generational thing?

I’m in a relationship for 4 years now. My boyfriend and I have some incompatibilities like different interests, sex drive, and financial stability. The things I want to do, he doesn’t want to do which is also one of the causes why I feel bored. Or maybe I’m just bored and grown out of this relationship. There's not much wrong with my relationship, but sometimes I don’t feel like I want to be in a relationship. I want to date more people and see if there’s better out there. Is there any advice on what I should do because he’s a good guy, we get along, we even have a good time sometimes. I want to break up but then I also don’t. I don’t know what I should do anymore.

Saw a similar question. I thought this angle would be more interesting.

Or should I say he’s going back to the drawing board, considering he took 2 months to reach out to me? We matched on the app back in Jan & he sent me a rose through Hinge, I think it’s a paid feature? He finally msgs me this past Tue & I reply Fri. He had a decent into message but when I replied Fri, he didn’t answer until yesterday evening. In my experience the guys that send roses through Hinge are not as quick to reply as the other regular matches. Are they flaunting their paid membership?