Should I stay in my 4 year relationship or leave?

[Anonymous]

I’m in a relationship for 4 years now. My boyfriend and I have some incompatibilities like different interests, sex drive, and financial stability. The things I want to do, he doesn’t want to do which is also one of the causes why I feel bored. Or maybe I’m just bored and grown out of this relationship. There's not much wrong with my relationship, but sometimes I don’t feel like I want to be in a relationship. I want to date more people and see if there’s better out there. Is there any advice on what I should do because he’s a good guy, we get along, we even have a good time sometimes. I want to break up but then I also don’t. I don’t know what I should do anymore.

Breakup and find better

Stay and work it out

Others?

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you made a diligent effort to discuss problems and conflicts? EVERY relationship will have disagreements and SOME incompatibilities; don't leave if you are seeking a "perfect" relationship. However, if you have given it your best effort, so that you can look back wthout wondering "what if I had tried harder?" and you are not happy, then you should leave. You deserve to be happy and he deserves to have a partner who is happy wth him.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO. Good luck!

[Zayed_]

Life isn’t all flowers and rainbows, Every relationship has a flow and it’s up to you to decide if that person is worth it to hold on to.

If you give up easily on this one then you will give up in the next one and If you give on both then you will give up on yourself

[Asker]

That’s true. But I really do feel like I’ve tried my best to keep this relationship going on for this long. At some point I feel bored now because he complains about my interests and doesn’t put in as much effort anymore. But then some part of me still love him bc he’s a good guy too.

[Zayed_]

Every relationship reaches its boredom point and like I said it’s up to you to decide.

[BrookeAZ90]

You sound like you're describing a friend who happens to be a guy. If you've gotten this far into the thought process, then you have already mentally and emotionally checked out of the relationship in a way. It sounds like you're ready to move on and you already know you should too.

[Asker]

Yeah. I felt like this for a while but I’ve been dragging it on in hopes of things changing. Just not sure if it’s worth staying anymore but I still love him too.

[YoHoeRose]

Breakup and find, different not better, everyone's relationship is different and you can't really consider some better than others (some you absolutely can) things may not be better but changed, you may fit more adequately with another person.

[Twalli]

If you don't feel like you're in love with him anymore then break up. The worst thing you can do is to stay in the relationship thinking that it will hurt him less later when you will probably break up. Okay, well, the worst thing is to cheat and then break up when he finds out, but you don't sound like you are near that yet. Relationships don't all work out, if you know your's isn't, end it.

[Asker]

I still love him. I just don’t feel like we are that compatible.

[Twalli]

Are you in love with him or just love him?

[Asker]

Good question. Maybe I just love him now.

[Twalli]

Perfectly acceptable, but I don't think you should stay with him just loving him without any sexual attraction and with the other feelings you havd.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I feel like if you are thinking about breaking up then you're clearly not happy in this relationship. Things don't have to be going crazy wrong for a relationship not to work out, it can just be as simple as this.

[Anonymous]

The grass is not always greener on the other side because everybody’s got their flaws. It just depends if both of you are going to work with each other but if one doesn’t then it’s never going to work.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Sounds to me like the best course of action is to end it. You've had four years to decide and discuss this. You sound incompatible.

[Anonymous]

Dump him and move on. You will never be happy with him.