My best friend (a girl) only texts me now when she’s drunk. Should I even bother anymore?

[TheMrMercer]

We’ve been really close for years now. Our relationship has always been strange. We started out intimate then went platonic of sorts. She has been in a relationship for 4+ years now and our friendship has stayed strong. Even became friends with her boyfriend. Over the 4 years we’ve gotten a bit too drunk and fooled around with each other. We kind of left it unspoken. It would just happen and we’d leave it at that. That went on for years until this new years when we were caught. I broke off all contact with both of them as I didn’t want to cause any more trouble. We didn’t speak for over 2 months. The longest time since we met in 2017. I had texted her the on a Monday apologizing for my actions. She responded on a Friday night saying “she just saw it” and we ended up speaking for hours. Her telling me that her boyfriend is useless and that all he does is play games and drink. And that she is trying to kick him out. And that she misses me and it’s been hard on her. Telling me she loves me (I’ve been hearing this from her for years and it’s always when she’s been drinking). Well after talking I thought we’d go back to talking everyday like before. But I haven’t heard a peep since. Now I love this woman. I don’t know in what facet. But I do. After speaking to someone everyday for year it’s hard no to. What should I do? Do I call her out on it next time she drinks and texts me? We both have good management jobs and work a lot of hours. So maybe she is just busy like I am? I just need help. I hate the prospect of loosing a important part of my life. But I don’t want to be a doormat. Any help or advice would be much appreciated!

[coachTanthony]

Now you love this woman? Or does your ego love her? Sometimes we get so used to something or someone being in our lives that when it dies down or goes away we have to claim now that we love that something or someone in order to get it back. So ask yourself is it your ego or do you really love her? Most times it's our ego not getting the attention we once gotten.

[TheMrMercer]

This definitely resonates with me for some reason. I believe you might be on to something. I’ve had long term relationships end and been heartbroken 24/7 for months. In this case I only think about it when my mind is not engaged. While I’m at work or in the gym i honestly don’t actively think about the situation.

[coachTanthony]

well it's just something to think about because I realized it way too late. Thank god she didn't reciprocate because after a few months I though OMG what was I thinking.

[exitseven]

there is a lot of moving parts here. I think she is only interested in you when there is nothing better to do. Sorry but it just seems if she felt the same way about you she would be more present. You deserve better.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[cherryxox99]

1. She only says that when she drunk

2. She recently broke up, and you could be a rebound.

I think you already know the answer

[cherryxox99]

Ok my bad i read it wrongly, didn't break up with boyfriend. So just the first point then

[JJ092003]

Play her the song "Call me when you're sober" by Evanescence

[Guy13]

Read it and don’t respond if drunk.

[Selene1600000]

This situation is not stable or fair to you, and the pattern has already repeated for years: closeness, alcohol-fueled intimacy or “I love yours,” then distance and silence. That usually means she is emotionally dependent on you in moments of stress, but not actually choosing a clear relationship with you in real life. Calling her out when she is drinking will not fix that pattern, it will just drag you deeper into confusion. The healthiest move is to stop responding to emotional pull and instead set a simple boundary when she is sober: you are not available for back-and-forth intimacy unless she is actually single and willing to build something clearly with you. If she cannot offer that, you protect yourself by stepping back, even if it hurts, because right now you are stuck in a loop that keeps you attached but never secure.

[SomeRandomGuy89]

I feel like you've already been acting as the doormat. It sounds like a toxic relationship no matter the outcome. I'd say move on with your life. There will be other women and with luck perhaps healthier ones.

[Anonymous]

At least a girl's texting you lol

I haven't had a girl interested in me in 7 years. Of course, who wants to get involved with a broken idiot with no friends?
Sorry, I'm feeling for myself again.

I'd be happy with it though

[NewsReader]

If possible, meet her in person while both of you are fully sober. And tell her what you told us. See how she responds.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to her tell her the same thing that you’re telling me

[Kiran_Yagami]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/PB4Nby2Ai-g

Nope.

[sheenagwapa]

you can just really be upfront about it

[LegendaryDater]

hit the bricks kid.

[gorydetails]

She's a shitshow. Move on.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Time to move on.