Polls: Dating

Like playing with fire?

Guys, interested to know which girl would you go for more and why?

1) Very attractive, lots of intense chemistry with, passionate, lower compatibility.

Or

2) More of a plain Jane, not so much chemistry, but you get on, high compatibility

She won’t butt out. At first I took it as “okay, she means well”, but now I don’t know. I took a long break from dating and was fine just being single, and she says “nope, you’re 40 now and you’ve been single too long. You need a man in your life. Since you’re friends with me you’re getting a man whether you want one or not” (she loves to matchmake). I realize she has a point, so I get on Facebook dating. She saw me on the apps one day at lunchtime (we work together) and she’s telling me who to swipe right on, who to swipe left on, etc and when I didn’t swipe right on a guy she told me too, she literally took my phone out of my hand and swiped on a whole bunch of guys because I (according to her) “clearly don’t know how to pick men”. Eventually I did match with a guy who I really liked, we’ve been dating for almost a year, and she doesn’t like him. Apparently she’s got someone all picked out who she wants to fix me up with (who’s a really nice guy and financially well off but I’m not attracted to him). The guy understands and said it’s fine but she won’t stop and says “this guy’s perfect for you, and your boyfriend’s a loser. Dump him and give this other guy a chance.” (The guy is definitely loaded and my boyfriend supports himself well, but he treats me well and we make each other happy).

she’s gotten to the point where she’s literally taken my phone out of my hand and texted my boyfriend from my phone making really ridiculous demands on him (like demanding he get me a Louis Vuitton bag for my birthday which I know he can’t afford). She’s caused some bad fights between us this way.

I’ve tried telling her to butt out but she doesn’t. She’s dating a guy who is 25 years older than us and is trying to push me to date much older as well. My boyfriend is early 40’s, like me. Nothing wrong with dating older men, but if I’m happy why can’t she just butt out?

Do you feel more confident when you are with someone on your same level of attractiveness?

do you feel more insecure when you date someone that appears to be way more attractive than you?

do you feel better and more secure when you date someone much less attractive than you?

I’ve had enough of this guy, I’m so fed up with the way that he’s treated me. We were more than friends then he friendzoned me because I found out he lied about his identity but then started calling me pet names and flirting but then pulling back if I engage at all. I want to say this to him:

“Hey so this has been feeling forced as fuck to me since about September when you double sent that towel selfie to me. I may act dumb, but I see you and I know this isn’t just about me knowing who you are.

It’s become obvious to me that our definitions of friendship don’t align and I’m tired of the confusing behavior. I’ll be spending my time on people who are authentic and don’t expect me to read minds or pretend I don’t know their name from now on.

Take care!”

Is this too much? Any feedback is appreciated!