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Hey there, so, to be brief, I am going to university and I sometimes see this beautiful girl walking on campus. I don't know her at all and never spoke to her. I'm trying to work up the courage to, the next time I see her, just walk up to her and say something along the lines of "Hey, can I ask you a question? I'm in a hurry, I know this is really random and I understand if you're not interested, but I saw you and thought you were beautiful and wanted to see if we could exchange numbers" or something like that. She's probably busy and I don't want to take up too much of her time.
If a guy approached you like this and was respectful about it you know, would you be ok with this? I have never done something like this.
What Girls Said
Seeing that you are in that dangerous (for women) age group, my question to you is:
What is your ultimate motive, your final aim to want to address this woman? To me, there is only one single reason why a guy wants to exchange numbers and to try to talk to a total stranger.
I get that kind of approaches and I systematically reject them because I am aware that those guys that do approach women are only doing it for one single reason. That reason is ultimately to get into their pants. Nothing more, nothing less.
I am sure you are not intending to approach her just to talk about the next football season or why pine trees don't grow past 5,000' altitude.
Is that correct or am I right?
Well, no. I actually can’t stand hookup culture. I'm much more interested in a long-term relationship, or even finding a life partner if things go that way. If that leads to sex, which I think we can both agree is a natural part of a relationship, then of course I'll be happy. But if we exchange numbers and start going on dates, I would never try to pressure a woman into anything. I just believe in letting things unfold naturally.
I think you might have a somewhat skewed view of men and assume most are only interested in sleeping with as many women as possible. The truth is, that’s only a small fraction. A lot of guys are just genuinely lonely. Dating today feels nearly impossible for a lot of us, and many are just looking for something real.
Well, the hookup culture is exactly what I experience day in and day out on campus and not just by a few guys but by a vast majority of them. It seems that attending university is basically a run for all to get as many girls as possible.
What do you think happens on those Spring breaks in Florida and elsewhere? Do you honestly think that those guys and girls just go there to watch the sunsets?
If you are really wanting a long term relationship, would it not be wiser to wait till you have your degree in your pocket and start then?
The things you are talking about are actually only true for a small number of guys. Have you seen the articles saying that most Gen Z men today have never even had a romantic or sexual experience? A lot of young men are not really dating anymore. Anxiety, depression, fear of rejection, and the rise of social media all played a huge factor in that.
It is not fair to say all guys are just trying to hook up. Yes, that culture exists in some places like Spring Break, but it is not what most people are doing. Many guys are focused on school, their future, or finding a real relationship, just like many girls are.
Also, waiting to look for a partner until after getting a degree does not really make sense. Relationships take time to build. Meeting someone while you are young and growing together can make the bond stronger. Plus, university is one of the best places to meet people who share your interests. If you wait until after school, it can actually be harder to find someone, since people are busy with work or already in relationships.
So while what you said might happen sometimes, it does not show the full picture. There are still a lot of people who want something real, even while in college.
Have you ever wondered why there are so many dropouts in college or university?
Exactly, because they have set the wrong priorities and have chosen the girlfriend/boyfriend over their studies and they cannot concentrate 100% on what is the most important thing for joining a higher education institution - their degree.
Yes, that would be fine. Just don't be pushy about it.
Yess and no. I’d be fine approaching but unlikely to give my number to a random guy I never talked to. I’d be more receptive to meeting up on campus.