how would you feel in this situation, advice needed:
family 1: you're a nanny for the child but the child is in the hospital to your job gets you temporary placement to help out with family #2.
family 2: Its day 1 orientation. While here temporarily you feel things go great. Then near the end of your shift the mom says, " I feel like your loyalty is to the other family so I don't feel like you're all in with my child. so I will be looking through other agencies for another nanny. so there will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nannies who can work here permanently. And I don't know if you're going to stick to family 1 or be with us. "
so you tell your employer ," I won't return because you feel like the mom of family 2 wasn't pleased with your work." Yet mom of family 2 tells your employer they liked you after saying the above things to you. Would you still want to work with family 2? or would you feel like family 2 didn't like you?
I would feel like mom of family #2 didn't really want me there despite what she said to my employer. I wouldn't go back to work there
I think the mom just wanted you to choose between them and the other client right then and there but it was way too soon for her to do that considering you were orienting
The mom should've declined from the beginning if temporary wasn't what she wanted. Why waste your time and there's
A, b, and c
I would go back there to work
Other
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
How would you feel about what mom of family #2 said to you?
I think Mom2 . Once somebody permanently and it just happens that you probably told her the story about family one so now she's going to use that as an excuse instead of just being honest insane look I really just want a permanent person the kind of sad that she had to go that way but I hope your employer understands what just happened she kind of manipulated things for her own benefit to get what she wants instead of thinking what could happen to you on the way that she even told the story and it kind of sucks I don't know if I'd want to work for a person like that
I voted C. The mom should've declined from the beginning if temporary wasn't what she wanted. Why waste your time and their's? She should've asked you if you would consider leaving your old job and working full-time with them. I don't know what kind of game she's playing. Sorry to hear that you had a difficult time trying to transition to that new job. I would be a bit irritated, I hope it works out. 🙂
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5 Reply
Asker
1 y
Would you return to work with family 2 or would you decline?
I would be annoyed that she's being kind of uncertain about what she wants. If you left family 1, will you actually have a position with family 2, or is she just going to come up with some other reason to replace you? You should've asked her straight up if she wants you to work with their child full-time? The way she said "I feel like your loyalty is to the other family so I don't feel like you're all in with my child. so I will be looking through other agencies for another nanny. so there will be a day where I tell the agency don't send you because I will be meeting other nannies who can work here permanently. And I don't know if you're going to stick to family 1 or be with us. " That seems pretty rude, like she's made up her mind. She should've started out asking if you would consider working for them exclusively, rather than just saying that she's going to replace you because blah, blah, blah. I don't think I like her way of communicating. I can't tell you whether to return or not. I just go wherever the paycheck is.
I agree, I feel like her approach was rude. And like she's wishy washy and unreliable. Like I feel like she would be the type to instantly replace someone.
@Uptowngirl88 rude, yes. But more importantly in my mind, manipulative and selfish. It's nice she was open and honest about how she was feeling, but also it reeks of manipulation. It's precisely the type of thing you say to try and elicit a response of "no, no, I"m totally committed to your family, I love your child and will do anything to keep working for you."
This kind of person is not someone you want to be working for long term, even if the first family is no longer available on a permanent basis.
@zeitgeist057 bingo!!! That's what I got out of it to so I declined the case and didn't return. I felt she was manipulative in her approach and her starting out like this the first day showed me this was not where I want to be. In the world of peds a lot of these parents think their kids are "special " and the parents need constant validation. At times I feel like the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree as to where these kids inherited their condition
I would tell her straight up that im for sure not all in with ONE child unless that parent is paying to cover the cost of what looking after another child would 🤣 She can't say that to you unless she's paying double to cover what another client wouldve provided. For example, if you make $100 per child, she needs to pay $200 if she wants me to just focus on her child
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4 Reply
Asker
1 y
I agree with you. Which did you choose in the poll
I mean, she never said she didn't like your work. Merely she knew you'd go back to family 1 when child comes out of hospital. If she was so up in arms over it, she should have told the agency she wanted a permanent nanny and to NOT send temporary folks like yourself.
I mean honestly it sound like mom #2 really wanted a permeant nanny and not interested in a temporary placement. So maybe they their tac was off a bit and it could of been said differently... and maybe the nanny took it to personal and over reacted.
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4 Reply
Asker
1 y
Which one did you vote for? The comment about I feel your loyalty is with the other family and that you're not all in with my child was off putting. Not sure how a nanny is supposed to react to that. She was told day 1 she would have temporary placement. There was no issue of her looking into additional agencies but the initial comment came off as an assumption before even getting to know the nanny considering that was only day 1 of orientation
Voted "The mom should've declined from the beginning if temporary wasn't what she wanted. Why waste your time and there's"
I agree with you, but moms and families in general get picky and picking nanny is a very personal and private thing. I assume a nanny that's been in the business long enough understand that, so need to take it personal.
I mean we are talking about people that can afford nannies... so there is a degree of entitlement that comes along with it. But it they made the nanny feel uncomfortable then I totally agree that they should look for a better placement.
The mom was informed that the nanny will not be returning because she felt the mom thought she wasn't a good fit based on conversation. The mom cried to the nannies employer saying she didn't mean to come off as if the nanny wasn't good and asked If the nanny could come back. The nanny accepted apology but declined the offer to return
I would return to work there so as not to leave her without a nanny even temporarily, and I would tell I was doing that. The reason is that you don't want a bad reference when you finally do leave when she finds a nanny she likes better. This is the professional thing to do.
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2 Reply
Asker
1 y
It was only first day of orientation and it's through an agency. So the mom can't write a poor reference bc she is not called directly. The mom is aware and has been aware since day 1 that the nanny would be temp the nannies client returns home.
She probably realizes that you will are only temporary. Since you were with the other family first, she doesn’t want her child to get accustomed to you. Then have you leave and someone new to be with her children. Probably she means nothing bad against you.
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1 Reply
Asker
1 y
She shouldn't have taken the temp offer from my agency and she should've had this discussion with the agency instead of me.
Superb Opinion