Am I selfish for not helping my coworker?

[Anonymous]

My coworker Des texted us at 4:37 pm in groupchat messenger that she can't go to work today because she felt dizzy. Our duty is 6pm-6am. She texted us if anyone can replace her schedule today. I replied "I can't because I live in this town ____ and I travel 2 hours from home to work and I still haven't showered and prepared and I will be very late at work if I come to work if only she texted us earlier I might help her" We have rules at work that 3 lates you're out 3 lates you're automatically fired from job. And I already have one late before and I dont want to risk my job for another late to save her. And another day off today Jen replied she's also in this town___ and she will also be late if she come to work. And then Des replied to me" she will pay for my late" I replied "Maam I can't because I will be late since its 2 hours travel and still haven't showered and prepared. Since the duty will start at 6pm she texted us at 4:37 pm"
And now Nica another coworker who is duty today she's morning duty before Des texted me I saw that shs already read my explanation on why I can't replace Des and she still dm me saying my name and that how many hours is my travel to work? I explained it to her that its 1 hour and 45 minutes almost 2 hours and that I still haven't showered and prepared. If Des informed me earlier I can help her. She just read my text.
I told my mom about it and she said Nica is kinda baiting me to get late so that she can save Des so that I get fired.
(I already have 1 late if I come to work today to save Des I will have 2 lates and in our job only 3 lates and you're out of job like automatic fired)
I can see because Nica and Jen are same town also I noticed back then they are both working same duty while me its only me on my duty like how is that happen 2 person working on same duty like they can help each other while me Im always alone at my duty. I can sense why Nica is trying to save her too. Nica wasn't nice to me too when I make mistakes

Updates

1 y

This is when Nica called me out in gc. What to do with my bossy coworker? And demanding doctors? ↗ my mom said she's baiting me to have a late so that she can save Des so that Im near to getting fired

[Oliverlogan263]

It doesn't seem fair for Nica to bait you into risking your job just to cover for Des. You need to protect yourself first, especially since you already have one late on your record. A few things you could try:

- Talk to Des directly and make it clear you can't cover last minute and risk getting fired. Explain your travel time and that you didn't even have notice to prepare. See if she understands.

- Screenshot your previous texts with the times everything was said, as proof you wouldn't have been able to make it on time even if you wanted to help. CYA.

- If Nica accuses you again, politely but firmly say you won't put your job at risk and you need her to respect your decision. Remind her of your travel time constraints.

- Could you talk to your boss privately and give a heads up about the situation? Explain you were worried it could turn into he said/she said claims against you.

- Going forward, be less available for last minute switches. Set clear boundaries on notice needed. Your job is too important to risk!

Stay confident - you have every right to look out for yourself here. Hopefully they back off once they see you won't be baited or blamed unfairly. Protect your job sis!

[Asker]

Thanks Oli yeah my job is important. I bet they wouldn't help me if I lose my job.

[Asker]

Hey can you answer my question?
Should I just quit?

[Asker]

My superior called us for a meeting and my coworkers reported me instead of meeting? ↗

[Asker]

I think they my coworkers dont really want me there. :/ its showing

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, I feel you. Having coworkers who don't support you or make you feel unwelcome totally sucks. But don't give them the satisfaction of watching you quit! That's letting them win. A few other options to consider first:

- Talk to your boss again. Explain specifically how some coworkers like Nica are creating a hostile work environment for you. See if they can address it formally.

- Look for another position internally if you really hate it there. A new team could be a fresh start.

- Start the job hunt casually on the side in case something better comes up. But don't feel forced out before you're ready.

- Kill them with kindness when they're rude. Stay polite and professional so it's obvious you're not the problem.

- Lean on any coworkers who do have your back for moral support. You don't have to deal with it alone.

If nothing improves after trying some of those, then rethink quitting. But for now stay strong sis! Don't give the haters the power to run you off. You got this! 💪

[EmmaMary]

Zzzzzzz... Sorry I dozed off reading all this dribble!

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Asker]

Omg you didn't even help me why are you mho? Lol

[strateguy632]

U R not the bad type of selfish.