"Relationships are a lot like farts; if you have to force it, it's probably going to be shit" - my dad

The light at the end of the tunnel could be a freight train.

I always liked "Time is precious, waste it wisely"

i guess these might help 👀 by the way i do write some of my own stuff as well part time stand up comedian here.

Truth is like a dead skunk in the middle of the street. You can walk away from it, but it still stinks

Why did the skeleton go to the prom by himself? He had nobody.

Do you know any funny quotes?

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