Boyfriend's friend is overstaying welcome-what do I do?? Please help.

[Anonymous]

Okay so my fiance and I live together and we like to have friends over on the weekends and we're both very social. BUT one of his friends has begun to overstay his welcome. I don't want to come off as the bitchy Girlfriend but it's really starting to get to me. I'm okay with people staying the night if they have been drinking but I am NOT okay with multiple nights. It has become a pattern where this one friend is staying 2-3 nights in a row! He has a place to live so it's not like he's homeless he is just choosing to stay at our place. I don't like feeling like I can't be completely comfortable in my own home and that's how I feel. I also feel like it's rude and it should be common sense that this is NOT okay. I haven't talked to my fiance about it yet because guess what...the friend is STILL here! But I'd also like some opinions. I don't want to fight about it, but I really feel that this is becoming a problem. Please help guys and girls.

[philipl4fun]

You need to tell your husband what you feel. His only answer to this should be, "Sure baby, I will take care of it." If he argues at about not making his friend feel bad, blah blah blah then he needs to grow a pair and realize that he is marrying YOU.

He needs to tell his friend that he can't stay more than one night. He needs to share it with his friend as his own idea. If he tells is friend that you are making him do it then I would question who you are marrying.

Something as easy as, "Hey man, you are welcome to stay the night but you gotta take off in the morning. I want to spend time with just YourName."

If his friend doesn't respect that then that friend can't come over anymore. If your man can't handle this he is not a real man.

[Asker]

What a sigh of relief to hear you say that. So I talked to my fiance about it and he responded exactly as I hoped. I wasn't a b**** about it. I told him I wasn't comfortable having company for that long and he didn't get upset. He apologized and said he would take care of it. Next day we got into an argument about something else and he brought it up and said I was being a "mom" and that it was stupid of me to feel uncomfortable with someone that is like family to him staying here.

[Asker]

Cont: He thinks that because his friend is like family to him he should be able to stay as long as he wants. He thinks I have the problem because I am not as relaxed with company here and he said I'm being selfish and want all of his time. Guess 4 days wasn't enough? :-/ I am reasonable and always welcoming to guests. I feel like he is being unfair to me and I should be the priority. I don't know any woman that would be okay with this.

[philipl4fun]

I wouldn't let family stay there that long either. I think you guys need to have a boundries discussion. Both of you need to respect when boundries are being violated. If he can't live with that then this isn't going to be a very long marriage.

[Anonymous]

You should really let you finace know once again..if not take matter into your own hands

and let the friend know it's your house.