My 3 children's father changed his number after I sent him this message?

[Anonymous]

So, my ex has been pretty MIA for going on a year and 2 months. He was taking the kids every other weekend but in June 2019 he stopped and he has only seen the kids 5 times since that point. Four times of which his mother actually asked for them and he just happened to be there.

My babies are 9, 7 and 4 years old. They ask for him constantly and I'm not sure what to tell them without making it sound like their dad doesn't want to see them. The last text pictured above is what I sent him on this past Friday. On Saturday, his cousin sent me a screen shot of his fb post (he has me blocked) that said "New number lmk if you want it". Also, not pictured, are 11 other texts that I have sent him since the last time he saw them (2 months ago) that he never responded to. Including texts telling him that the kids would like to call him.

I'm unsure of what to do here and I'm curious what you guys think. A huge part of me wants to be petty and ignore him and his mother when they text me (they usually will take them once every 3 to 4 months) because of how much they have ignored me.

I have been trying to take him to court for 2 years but the date keeps getting postponed and now there isn't an opening in the court house until nearly March of 2021. He refuses to pay child support. He lives at home with mommy and doesn't pay rent or have any responsibilities aside from his phone.

I'm just curious what y'all think I should do here because I'm truly at a loss and so very tired of fighting for him to see his kids when it's obvious that it isn't a priority to him.

[Jjpayne]

That last message while truthful came off a little bit forceful.

I'm not saying it did not need to be said but said differently. Sometimes a persons ego can be hurt and a number change in that case might not be surprising. To say they are being "childish" is the kind of way arguments can get started.

Sometimes just making simple statements and saying it in a very straight forward manner can be the solution.

"Can you take the kids?" Then waiting... After which too much time passing assuming he will not, then questioning him after. I think sometimes the more simple the better.

Done get me wrong, I understand your frustration. But at the end of the day, you still had to figure out what you had to do with the kids because he changed his number.

In the future, short and sweet then figure things out on your end and talk about it in person later. Coming up with a more fair and reasonable way to respond to requests in the future.

Hopefully this sounds right to you 😅

[Fuentes]

Either im not seeing the full story or dude is a be coming a complete dead beat, because it can go both ways women take the kids from men to hurt them when men adapt to it they ignore the mother because they don't wanna deal with the power struggle the woman is using with the kids or dude is deciding he will be a lack of a father going down the deadbeat road and looking for a new woman to start a family

[Asker]

I have never attempted to take the kids from him but trust me, I know where you are coming from. My cousin is dealing with that right now.

[Fuentes]

Good then yeah I don't know he's practicing in being a dead beat I don't know why some dudes have child after child then refuse to be a father thats ridiculous but some people can be so cold. Maybe he's hoping it hurts you but he's selfish to not realize its hurting the kids and he needs to help 100% reguardless if you're getting along or not. Time for him to be a man n take care of his responsibilities

[Asker]

Unfortunately I think the main issue is that after I left him, he still wanted it to work. He tried for a solid year and was over to my place constantly to visit the kids and bought them literally anything they needed. But I had no interest in making it work because he was extremely abusive verbally. So, I eventually moved on. At that point he became estranged and started seeing the kids every other weekend. Would tell me to have "my new boyfriend" do it, whenever I told him the kids needed something that I couldn't afford. I think he's resentful that I moved on even though it's been 3 years.

[Fuentes]

Yeah sounds like it he needs to move on n do better and grow up and be a dad n get out of his feelings and help with his kids

[Asker]

Yeah, unfortunately he doesn't appear to see the affect it is taking on our kids at this point :/ i think s sad.

[midnightmoon05]

Do your best to raise kids without him.

[jonBurchess]

Some people are cut to be parents, so it's a good thing that you are, it's very sad for them kids to not have their dad around but trust me once they get older they will realize that it was his decision to be a looser and that they did nothing wrong and that mom was a rockstar

[Asker]

Thank you for that!

[chriscdi]

his cousin lookin out, i fuck wit it, but you should really text his new number, he can't run away from his responsibilities, do what you have to do id say, he pookin smh

[Asker]

I dont know what his new number is and he won't give it to his cousin (because she is friends with me).

[chriscdi]

find the number, shouldn't be too hard 🙃

[TheDad75]

Document everything so that you can file for sole custody with no visitation rights at all when the court finally decides to hear the case. Stop chasing him. He doesn't want to have anything to do with them, so be it. Tell them the truth. It will hurt but they'll be better off in the long run without him.

[FruitAndBlueEyes]

That is so sad 😞 how the kids ask for him and he doesn’t want anything to do with him 😞 It sounds like court is the best course of action. Pity they can’t get you in until next year.

[Agape93]

Wow sounds an awful lot like my ex.

[bradbradley]

sounds like he really needs to grow up im sorry