Do you think he was asking for my number and how can I fix it?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy at my office who I have been low key flirting for a year and developed some feelings for. I wished him to make a move for so long and he did not, so I stopped my hopes and accepted the connection as a just office flirt banter. But recently I was feeling like he is hinting things a bit more than before.

Recently I gave him a box of tea very casually. Then this convo happened:

- He: Thank you I will drink it this evening
- Me: Think of me when you are drinking it
- He: I will send a picture of it when I’m drinking
- Me: Okay sure!
- Him: But I can’t because I don’t have your phone number

I took it as a joke and laughed (kind of oh sorry I realized I can’t send it) and also because he never makes a move, my brain thought it was again a joke/again escaping from making a move. Only after a week I realized maybe he was indirectly asking for it. And I am very sad for the possibility that he took it as a rejection and this connection is over.

This week I have seen him again in the office after this issue, he again came to my desk to chat and to have a break together (our ritual), but his behaviors were like colder/moody. Now I can go give him my number but I want to do it as subtle as possible with some joking.

Do you think it was a number ask? Do you think it was a rejection? How can I take it from here?

[SueShe]

Most likely it was a subtle way for him to ask for your number but you obviously gave him the cold shoulder by not responding the way he expected. On one hand, you give him a present and direct the conversation towards a closer relationship but then at the last minute failed to do the last step.

He took it obviously that you were not interested and then he obviously did not want to pursue this flirt since you made it clear to him that you were not interested.

Yes it was a request for your number and you screwed it. Now, to fix it, you will have to come up with something original. Your best way would again to direct the conversation towards a topic that requires you to give your phone number.

[Asker]

Yes the conversation was going so well and in the last minute it got paused very badly. But this is an going interaction for a year so I hope he also thinks there is a misunderstanding.

[SueShe]

Just tell him that you had your mind elsewhere like that you just had a phone conversation with your family and there was an issue that you needed to clear and you simply did not realize he asked for your number.

Make the excuse credible. Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

That is one way of getting your number.

[serious]

Yes, I think he was trying to ask for your number but indirectly. Maybe he understood that you are not really interested.

[DryGermanGuy]

Duh. You give him the next box of tea with your number scribbled on it, of course.

[Asker]

This is a huge jump in flirtation and screams “im interested in you.” We are not there yet so i need something subtle.

[DryGermanGuy]

Quote:

„I wished him to make a move for so long and he did not, …“

So, which is it? 🤷‍♂️

[In_Trance]

Don't fuck your coworkers.

[Asker]

Feelings got involved, too late:)