School does teach this, by throwing you in the mix and expecting you to figure it out. It's one of the best ways to learn. But in our "woke" society, no one takes responsibility for themselves, and blames everyone else when they can't keep up. I'm not saying this is what's happening in your situation, just that people in general do not take up the challenge to be self-sufficient and learn to survive and thrive.
Nevertheless, there are organized ways of learning this, as you asked about. Groups such as Toastmasters focus exclusively on making you the best public speaker you can be. Along with that, you immerse yourself in social situations and are constantly mentored and trained by the more experienced members.
It's not a cult or anything, you show up once a week (or as often as you want), do your little speech, get constructive criticism from everyone, and get to know everyone and make friends in the process.
If you don't like one group, you can go to another one, probably minutes away. If you can't go on Tuesday there's one on Wednesdays. Some groups are very casual about it, and some are deadly serious, like they do international competitions that are like they Olympics of public speaking, and have hundreds of ribbons and trophies from previous years. And everything in between.
A great experience. You can join whenever you want, and drop out whenever you want. Join for 6 months, take a year off, and come back if you want.
There are people in their 20s trying to get their careers started, and people in their 70s who enjoy the experience. Some people have been there 3 months and some people have been there for 40 years. You meet all types, and for the most part, they are pretty enjoyable.
I hope this helps.
Observe. Observe. Observe.
Weigh the results of the behaviors you see in others as well as the results of your own behaviors.
Learn and adjust accordingly.
Participate in the world, whether you're comfortable doing so or not.
You may be surprised how quickly you may get past the point of being uncomfortable.
I can't guarantee it, but I'd bet on it.
It takes time.
Be patient with yourself.
I've been there.
It can get better for anyone.
Schools don't really miss teaching social skills, in my opinion.
They just teach it fairly quickly at a young age when most children are ready to hear it, but may not yet be capable of fully absorbing it and integrating it into their daily lives.
It needs to be reiterated over and over until it is absorbed into children's lives, to be carried into their entire lives.
'Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You'.
That was printed on a yellow ruler (Golden Rule, get it?) that I received as a student in Kindergarten.
That ruler should have accompanied me throughout my life, but I only remember having it on the day the class was presented with them.
I have no idea where it went.
Maybe if I had had possession of it throughout my younger years, I wouldn't have had such a hard time with poor social skills, which are now thankfully in the past.
I wish you the best.
I work as a server/bartender I'm ALWAYS social, otherwise i don't make any money.
The last thing i want to do after work is be social. I've heard, at least, 10 different life stories, been hit on by men & some women of all ages, had to deal with people's kids who refuse to behave, been cussed out for of things beyond my control, & so much more. If i do decide to go drinking after work, I'm not talking to people, i just want to enjoy my beer & my liquor & be left the fuck alone.
It's bad enough my boyfriend wants to chat after my shift about EVERYTHING. I need at least an hour to decompress & because he isn't a restaurant worker, he doesn't understand. I love him to pieces, but i just want to go home & sit in quiet while watching a movie or show after talking & talking & talking all day.
Sorry, if you couldn't tell, i just got off my shift 😂
My advice, find something about yourself or your life you like/love & start there & let the conversation progress from there. If you're into science-y stuff, talk about that; scientists just looked inside a black hole for the first time & finally proved that Einstein was correct about how black holes behave! If you're into the medieval faire/comic book festivals, bring that up. If you're really into your physique, talk about being at the gym or what you do. The list is endless!
School is hard to be sociable because of the social groups and finding out where you fit in. While in the real world, everyone is alone and exploring their options better.
You can easily converse with a store cashier or a waitress without being judged. Then as you get comfortable from talking to a few people, you can explore events, concerts or volunteers and socialize with different people.
Even if you don’t make friends right away. You still socialized and made acquaintances that put some of your worries at ease.
Opinion
4Opinion
I tend to get thrown in to new groups.
listen don’t talk.
take it slow.
I hate when someone new to a group is to loud (there is a level of hypocrisy here lol).
learn about the people you are interacting with.
show respect.
have fun.
take hints when they are presented.
be open with everyone
To practice social skills , is first don't overthink , stay calm ,, and most important be confident.
Go to public places , that you go to on a regular basis.
Make sure you take it slow ; start by saying "How are you? " to one person at a time and then go from there.
Human relations - effective communication is key. Tip : Dale Carnegie books are great for this especially How win friends and influence people.
I powerslam dark rum and then offer my opinion up on GAG. Been dooin it for a couple of days now. Results are indeterminate.
Same way you practice getting better at ANYTHING. Put yourself in the firing line until you get more proficient.
I tend to just click with certain people but most of my friends/ social group are longstanding I don't meet that many new people
Go somewhere alone like a bar if you're of age or some venue and just chat with strangers. Best way to test yourself as well as have a great time
Just talk to people can be online or in person.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions