How do I meet decent people my own age?

[soulbabe]

I'm 21 years old and I'm not wanting to make a love connection or anything just make some friends I haven't had a single friend since I was 12. The most social my life has been was I took my 84 year old coworker out to lunch last week. And I talk with all my coworkers a lot and love all of them but everyone I work with is at least 40 with kids and grandkids so not like we hangout. And even if I meet people my age o I don't know how to strike up a conversation with them let alone asking if they want to hang out

[Lynx122]

Try online first just to practice talking to people. It's easier to find people similar to yourself online and then when you know how to judge better wgat you're looking for and what kind of person someone is then you can try more irl. I can do both but I'm still more comfortable online because it's just very hard to find someone irl that I can relaly connect with. I can have normal conversations irl but it's hard to make deeper connections when you know people don't really get you that well or aren't interested in most of your interests. So I just talk to people about general stuff and then connect with people online. When I'm back in the big city I'll try more to cinnect with people irl too because the chances are just higher.

Good Luck. 💪💪💪🙌🙌🙌🙌🦸‍♂️

[Sonorous]

I suggest going about this in the way that an investigator would. If you're trying to find someone, it's best to know what type of person they are. So you might have to ask yourself questions like:

- What general or specific temperaments would I want my friends to have?
- What values & innate motivations are usually involved with those temperamental traits?
- What occupation or hobby would they generally have based on the traits?

Once you know all that and any more, you can just go where they are, stick around long enough & be likable enough to form an emotional bond with them. Then ya got friends! Ones that are probably decent. But ofc that would ultimately be up to how accurate your preferences are & chance.

[NathanDavis]

what kind of job do you have? and why are you not in college?

[soulbabe]

I work at big lots. And I was but became unsure of my path and my grandma ended up with cancer and needed me to take her to her appointments so I took time off from school

[NathanDavis]

how much free time do you have, which days... what time of the day?

[soulbabe]

I'm normally off Tuesdays and Wednesdays but I normally use Tuesdays to take my grandma to her appointment. But it's not every Tuesday. Any other time I'm usually working 8:30 to 5:30. I don't have a huge amount of free time because I take care of a garden I'm fixing up a house so I can move out of my mentally abusive mom's house and then I'm also caring for goats and chickens

[soulbabe]

So I don't know maybe 2 hour's or so a day longer if it's close to home

[NathanDavis]

your bio says that you have a LOT of hobbies, any chance that you can share your hobbies with someone, during those 2 hour free time periods

which are these hobbies you're talking about?

[soulbabe]

As far as hobbies go I have archery, ceramics, I work with silicone, resin, concrete, clay, horseback riding even though I haven't done it in forever I miss it greatly, cooking /baking, jewelry making, gardening and a few more. I want to learn to sew , glass blowing, forging , shoe making and woodworking,.

[soulbabe]

But I have never done it with someone else I wouldn't know how to ask someone to join me any time I asked in the past I got shot down oh yah I have a gun and go to the range with my dad to blow up tannerite

[NathanDavis]

you certainly have a good range of activities and interests... and these, you can use them to find other people that either like it as well, and they are your age... or you can try to get someone into some of them.

but you do have to try, either you look for them on social networks, Facebook groups, forums... stuff like that... or find local places in which people go to learn or practice the stuff you're into

the most important thing is that you, have to make the effort to find the people your age

[Grond21]

What kind of activities do you like to do? Or would you be interested in doing?
That's often where you can meet people

[soulbabe]

As far as hobbies go I have archery, ceramics, I work with silicone, resin, concrete, clay, horseback riding even though I haven't done it in forever I miss it greatly, cooking /baking, jewelry making, gardening and a few more. I want to learn to sew , glass blowing, forging , shoe making and woodworking,. I also do some target shooting with my rifle and play video games

[Grond21]

Holy smokes! These sound awesome! You're into so many cool things! I want to do a lot of those, and some of them I have dabbled in before. But I bet if you find a group near you who does some of these activities you could start to become friends with some of the people there

[soulbabe]

I tried to join the archery club but got turned down for being a girl. And I took a ceramic class but the other people in my class really only talked to me when the teacher wasn't around to ask me questions about ceramics" I was the best in the class" I would spend a good 5 hour's in that class long after everyone went home

[Grond21]

Not everything is going to work the first time. That's true. Kind of stupid that you got turned down for being a girl. And the ceramics sounds like something that you really enjoy. So you could do that on the side. As your main hobby. And then you could pick something else. Like horseback riding

[soulbabe]

Well i do enjoy ceramics and I'm pretty decent at it but there's no place to do that around here really unless you're taking college classes or going to high school. And I have kind of like my own ceramic studio now sorta. Yeah that was some b******* the guy getting the sign ups for the archery club straight up looked at me and said I don't think you'd be able to handle it and that woman really shouldn't be doing archery anyway so I should go join the psychology club instead. like excuse me dirt bag I could beat your scrawny ass to a pulp I grew up with 8 boy's fighting every day and got the scar's to prove it and you think I can't draw a bow the fluff man. I signed the board anyway just out of spite and wasn't going to let some sexist dick sway my opinion

[Grond21]

That's awesome that you have your own studio! I've always been curious how ceramics worked and if I would enjoy it.

Lol, what a tool bag! Shows he doesn't know how to judge someone at all. And if you wanted you probably could have made a stink about that and taking it up to someone who is in charge of the college clubs. And then you could have joined and proved to him how wrong he was. But I'm glad you didn't let him push you around

[haooy]

Well, I usually get to know people people of my own age in school and colleges, and then there were some clubs and NGO too. Except that I don't know where you can find decent people of your age.

[princeofromance]

Would you be willing to make a love connection, if it was with the right person?

[soulbabe]

Um no not really I'm engaged so trying to find another isn't really the plan

[princeofromance]

I am sorry, I did not know you were engaged.

[soulbabe]

Didn't expect you to know. not like it would really change anything either way people would still have to talk to me for either one lol

[888theGreat]

grocery store , 21 year old people have to get groceries. Laundry Mat

[soulbabe]

I don't need to go to a laundry mat I have a washer and dryer. I'm pretty much always in a store because I work at one.

[DaMack999]

Do things outside. Get out more.

[soulbabe]

I tried doing some of those like I took a ceramic class and went to a college picnic