People who always talk about themselves?

[Anonymous]

My friend always talks about herself whenever I share something with her. It’s really annoying. If I say I’m going on holiday she answers with “I went there years ago”, if I bought something new she’ll turn the conversation around to herself saying she’s “always wanted to get that” or she already has it. Even when I bought my dream prom dress her my prom pics, she told me to “give her my dress” so she could wear it. Why is it that whenever I share something with her she talks about herself or turns the conversation around to herself?

[GoldenAxer]

I have that inadvertent tendency sometimes. My intention is to try to relate to the other person and not to take focus away from their subject.

For example, if someone says their loved one passed away, I might refer to the loss of some of my family members not to shift the conversation topic but just to try to relate to them and help them realize that they're not alone.

I also use it as a way to try to avoid conflict. For example, if I say my favorite movie is a certain movie, and someone else says it's a horrible film, instead of challenging their opinion, I might go into my childhood and why I came to love the film even if it might be a horrible one.

[GoldenAxer]

I try to be conscious of this tendency though so in the above example where someone is talking about the loss of a loved one, I might mention that I have suffered similar losses to relate to them. However, if it's shifting too much to my losses, I will try to shift it back to them and ask questions so that we can keep the spotlight on them.

[GoldenAxer]

I don't know about your friend's intentions but they might relate somewhat to my own.

[GoldenAxer]

If it's a light-hearted topic though, like say someone says they went to a great Italian restaurant, I don't talk about my experiences at another Italian restaurant. I'll ask them how it was like and what sort of food they ordered.