Girls, I want to *start* a family more than anything, but at 51, what's the best way to find baby-minded women who aren't already single moms?

[Anonymous]

I wish I didn't have to have such a late start becoming a parent, but that doesn't change the fact it's the most important thing to me in my life.

[SueShe]

Before you even think of women and starting a family, you better have your health checked.

At age 51, you are not the youngest anymore and you are faced with a number of issues that may be in the way of having a family of your own, meaning your own children.

First and foremost will be the quantity/quality of your sperm. You realize that at your age, you may not have enough healthy sperm count and quality to be able to procreate. I would recommend you check that issue with a specialist that can help you with your project, at least on the procreation side of the problem.

I don't think that you would be successful to find the suitable person online unless you find a specialized page that targets those people in your situation and in your age group.

Your other problem will be to find a woman that is able to get pregnant above the age of 40. That is also a major issue. If you are aiming at younger ladies, the problem will be to the relatively large age gap.

[Asker]

Yea, I feel like my only real option is with women in childbearing years, well below 40, that's what my sister suggested anyway. But as you said, that isn't going to be easy. What's my best strategy? I know I can't be too picky at this point, as much as it sucks to say so, but I have wanted to be a dad more than anything all my life, and it matters more to me than even being happy or in love.

[SueShe]

Your best strategy is certainly not online because all you will find are women desperate to find a man that will support them financially but with little other motivation. To them, love and a family are secondary.

Your best bet is probably a serious matrimonial agency, if that even exists but your expectations should not be too high. You want to marry and have children of love not because of your financial status. The latter one would be a catastrophe for you, both emotionally and with your hope to get children of your own.

Of course, you could still look into adopting but I don't know if that is an option for you.

[Asker]

I thought about it long and hard, but step kids and adopted kids have never appealed to me. I want to have my own kids somehow. I've looked into lots of those kind of agencies, but after a decade at it and no luck, I don't think any of them have anything but scammers on them.

[SueShe]

That's what I fear too. Your best bet is to find a person in a community type of social gathering such as a club or hobby where people share the same interests. You may find just the right person but your quest is very difficult. Anyway, good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, and I hope I find something. I think my community is a little too small to have those kind of clubs you mention, maybe I need to move to a big city. I suppose it's these little changes that I'll need to start making to improve my odds though.

[BenzyLove]

So, I have to ask this important question, have you been married before? Also, what age/age-range are you looking for? Because if you're looking for a baby minded woman then my mind automatically goes to a woman who is in her 20s-30s. If you want a woman around your age, then her child bearing years are slim to none. With that being said, if you want a woman in your age range and you're thinking about having a baby then you should start thinking about IVF, surrogacy or even adoption. Let's hear some specifics so we can better aid you

[Asker]

Yes, I was married but she decided not to have kids *after* we were married a long time, which lead to things coming apart. Surrogacy costs about $150,000, and I would be a single dad, so I have been weary of that option. It can also take a few years to find someone even through a good agency, so I haven't set that plan into motion yet. I would feel bad for the baby not having a mom too.
My sister suggested I look for someone in their 20s or 30s, but that's easier said than done.
I do hope to find love someday, but at this point just having a family would mean even more.

[BenzyLove]

Surrogacy doesn't necessarily mean you'll be a single dad. You can have a wife and she can agree with you to have a woman carry the child that is willing to do so. Also, I know you said that your sister said you should look for a woman in her 20s-30s but it's not about your sister, do you want a woman in her 20s-30s? If so, that's going to be very difficult.

[Hangry06]

If you have money, there's plenty of options for a family
Some women like old men