How open are you with your kids?

Question

This question does go out to everyone, primarily wonder from the moms and dads in the group but I would also like to find out what others have to say about being open with their parents! I am just trying to gauge what I should do so as my kids are getting to that age.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

A parent's role is not to teach the kids right from wrong, good from bad and guide them through life; it is to help them discover these things for themselves. They're not puppets on strings or lumps of clay to be molded by you. The more you talk at them, the less thinking they'll do for themselves, for you talking tends to be received as you believe they're too stupid to think for themselves. Help them discover themselves rather than mold them into your ideal image, so you can live vicariously through them. Parents who do their children's thinking generally don't like the results they see when those kids grow up.

Provide them with a stable basis upon which to grow, and be a good role model. Being a good role model doesn't mean doing what you're supposed to do, but showing them examples of cause and effect. A good role model is from the eyes of the children, not the parent. In other words, if they believe you're unhappy, unfulfilled and just live for the kids or to do what you're supposed to do, they won't see you as a good role model. They want to see examples of what does work, not what doesn't work.

Don't weigh them down with anything they have no control over. You have no reason to share your sex life or complaints about the other parent. You can say money is tight, but don't overreact and scare them by being Chicken Little. Help them open their eyes and see how their choices impact both them and others, but never spoon-feed them. Show them you care enough to want to see things through their eyes. Seek out their opinions rather than indoctrinate them with yours. Never judge their opinions, just because they differ from yours. You can seek clarification and deeper understanding, but they're as eager to be judged by you as you are to be judged by them.

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

keep them the hell out of public school, off the TV and Internet, however, providing a basic cellphone may be a good idea. Need to know basis that is grounded in the Bible. There's plenty of normalized interaction with the world through arts, sports, academics etc..

Tiffany_VG · Accepted Answer

Me and my parents avoid talking about sex or anything sexual and I prefer that way. I mean you can talk to your friends or search online if you have questions.

swettannie · Accepted Answer

with my mom, not at all. but with my little sis, completely

Andres77 · Answer

I was a medic in the military and my wife is a nurse. Our daughters understand more about A&P than anyone outside of pre-med.
We use a lot of clinical terminology in the house. My kids also consistently test out with college level vocabulary.
Menstruation is not taboo in our house.
Our oldest daughter told us after the fact that she lost her virginity and how she was safe and what are her regrets and what her intentions are.
We're pretty open without going into intimate details.
Bottom line, if our daughters need to know the bottom line truth they know that they can count on us for the real answers. They might pay for it with having to hear a speech but they trust us enough to come to us when they need to naked truth, so to speak.

laurieluvsit · Answer

It depends on what relationship you want and how it develops in terms of open communication.

With our parents, nothing was off the table but I think being raised in a nudist family helped facilitate that openness :)

Kacey811980 · Answer

@sharonh4272 I think its good to be open with your kids especially about sex.

dolemite89 · Answer

i don’t have/want kids i have nieces and nephews i pitch in with tho. With older kids i try not to be to out in the open with everything but i also don’t dumb things or act like i’m a saint kids can tell when you’re being fake very easily.

Sparkie460 · Answer

We discuss anything and everything with our kids. We don't want them to be ashamed to ask any questions.

GreatnessBack · Answer

I tell them whatever they need to at their age, and see if they can understand it. If they can, good, but if they cannot, then leave it until later.

Guardian45 · Answer

As much as possible try to be open and honest with your children, but use their maturity and curiosity to guide your moral answers.

JohnK123 · Answer

My parents weren’t open with me at all but they were to my sister

Wise4myage · Answer

I say do whatever you feel comfortable with, and maybe have an open discussion about it.

Zolly99999 · Answer

Don't have kids... My parents are hardcore religious.. so no

lickysplit · Answer

Answer all questions as the best you can when asked

nomadme · Answer

I am not a parent yet. So maybe we should make some kids so i can answer you for once?

Sonorous · Answer

I refuse to procreate. It is a sin.

CubaPirate · Answer

Very they're both adults now

Xtendable · Answer

Depends what you’re going to disclose to them

Talkingtotheone · Answer

truth which most do not have

How open are you with your kids?

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