Would you become a stay at home parent if your spouse made enough to be in the top 10% of earners?

[Anonymous]

Assuming that your partner is encouragingly or at least neutral to the idea. Top 10% would also depend on where you live, I think for the US top 10% income would be anything above $130,000 annually or around that number.
Putting family and friends since this is assuming you have your family, can you can answer that you dont want kids anyways

Updates

+1 y

Of course you're allowed to do other stuff, a stay at home parent would simply mean you devote most of your time to house care and children. Many SAHPs have hobbies and work from home. I was curious if most guys and girls would be against being housewives or househusbands. Thank you for all your responses! I wish you all a wonderful week!

[shaysh87]

No I wouldn't. If my kids were very young such as 0-7 years old, I would stay home to care for them. But once they get older, I would like to work. Because I'm the type of person who is born to do things, explore, accomplish, learn, achieve, see the world. I'm not the type who just sits at home, has no ambition and is just happy with just surviving on daily basis and not dying. I am born to be a doer. And I'm proud of that.

If everyone wanted to stay at home, there won't be scientists inventing the covid vaccine. There wouldn't be politicians running for office. There wouldn't be doctors if you needed surgery. There wouldn't be CEOs or inventors creating products that you love.

And plus, you can't ever trust a man to provide you with everything you need. Once your husband wants to divorce you, you will end up having nothing. After staying home for 15 years, no employer will want to hire you because your job experience is considered obsolete after so many years. If your husband starts abusing or cheating on you, you can't divorce him because you can't survive on your own. You will end up having to put up with a ton of BS from him. Its really best to have your own income. Believe it or not, its not uncommon for husbands to cheat on housewives. It happens a lot.

[midnightmoon05]

Agree with everything… except last statement… it goes both ways… stay at home women also cheat.

Why some downvote for opinions? I don’t get it.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

you're not understanding the point I'm trying to convey. Husbands tend to cheat on housewives a lot more because he knows that she can't afford to leave him du e to her lack of job skills. A woman who has been out of work for 10 + years , will not appeal to any employer. Most housewives are uneducated woman. Even if she does get a job, it will likely be an unsurvivable wage. She cannot afford to leave him. So thats why he cheats on her.

And secondly, some housewives do cheat but definitely not to the extent of husbands who cheat on them. And usually when a housewife cheats, its usually because she is lonely and bored. Her husband is rarely ever home. And when he is home, he is always tired.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

I have many years of online dating experience, trust me on this when I tell you that the most daring, blatant, cheaters are usually husbands of housewives.

[midnightmoon05]

Depends where you find the stistics … lots of housewives cheat… just reality nowadays.
Not that I am defending men. My ex hubby “cheated” on me… and I should be upset… but I’m over it.
But I also know lots of women have affairs.

Women chose to stay home is also a choice. I know many who don’t want to work and not want to give him a child.
Most men who love their wives will not do things to hurt her or think that way.

Men and women really need go close the gap with what’s good for both and their family rather… selfish one sided… then ends sad for the kids.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

i think you need to stop your idealistic thinking that all men who love their wives will never cheat. Reality is, most people end up settling in life for less than ideal. Every marriage has its own problems. Every spouse has its own flaws. You can't expect the perfect deal all the time for everyone.

Husbands do cheat on housewives more because they know their wives can't afford to leave them. And its something that you need to be open to accepting.

And

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

More working husbands cheat than housewives.

[shaysh87]

most of the married guys who have hit on me in the past , usually have housewives at home.

[midnightmoon05]

We can agree to disagree.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

but what I'm saying is.. you get the better deal when you're a working wife rather than stay at home wife. You can afford to leave if your husband cheats on you. You can afford to leave if your husband ever gets abusive. You can't do this as a stay home mom.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Why are you so defensive and oppositional all the time? @midnightmoon05 is engaging you in polite dialogue. She's not attacking you, she's not against you, and she's not even disagreeing with you. You need to learn how to relax.

[midnightmoon05]

@Jamie05rhs it’s gag. A place where people can be themselves. I just hope these attitudes are not the real Americans.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

She was disagreeing with me. You sound passive aggressive. Do you have anything against me?

[midnightmoon05]

You are angry/defensive because I disagree with what you said? SMH 🤦‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I do not have anything at all against you. I think you're a lovely human being. Flawed, but still lovely.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

It still doesn't beat my point that you get a better deal as a working wife. Does arguing further mzke you feel better about me disagreeing with you?

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

you're just mad cuz i pissed you off in another thread

You didn't have the maturity to admit your lack of experience in dating which was the reason why you're stalking me all over GAG

[midnightmoon05]

I agree with you about that point if you read carefully.
I disagree with a small area. Since then you have become defensive.
I stopped the conversation a long time ago.
You live your life. Till you get to that point, you don’t know what you will end up.
I am already on a diff. stage of my life. I was a stay home mom, My kids are grown. I have a successful career and business and I have a stay at home husband.

[midnightmoon05]

I am here to help. I don’t like to fight.
Good luck to you.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't have bothered restarting this argument. why did you come back after so long if you didn't care?

Because your stance makes no sense. Stay home wives are less likely to divorce their husbands because they lack the ability to make a living on their own. Stay home wives do not tend to be educated women with skills.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

All the non single guys who have chased me in the past, were husbands who had stay home wives or girlfriends. I can tell you that for sure.

When you're completely dependent on your spouse to survive day to day, your spouse has a lot of power over you.

I can believe that stay home wives cheat. They cheat because they are bored. Believe it or not, stay home moms have a lot of time on their hands and their entire house is empty for the majority of the day. But when it comes to divorce, its not the stay home wives who divorce their husbands.

[midnightmoon05]

You win 🏆!
Let me know how things go after 10 years of your marriage if that ever happens to such attitude. SMH

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

do you know how many married men I've spoken to over the many years I've been online dating? there's no shortage of married men looking to cheat online.

When someone has to cheat, it is usually due to a lack of fulfillment in the marriage. Stay home moms tend to be bored and lonely at home. Husbands tend to cheat when their wives aren't giving them affection or sex. The boldest cheating husbands tend to be the guys who have stay home wives. They're so bold because they know their wives is unlikely to divorce them and will have very high tolerance for their BS.

[shaysh87]

@midnightmoon05

Its either the men with the girlfriends or men with the housewives that tend to be the boldest when it comes to chasing women. 95% of the non-single men who has chased me over the years are either in one of these two groups.

A married man can very well be in love and also cheat on his wife. Trust me if a man truly didn't want his wife, he would've left her. A married man refusing to leave his wife but opts to cheat on her, just means he is crying out for help in his relationship. He doesn't want to end the relationship, it just means he's crying out for help.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87
1. No, I'm not mad at you.

2. You have never won a debate with me, ever.

3. And no, I'm not stalking you. I just keep running into you, unfortunately lol. (Maybe because we're interested in the same topics.)

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, no one HAS to cheat. It's a choice.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

It seems like every time you get defensive or angry, you always end up stalking me with something passive aggressive to say.

By doing this, you've already proven that you're severely flawed yourself. But you don't expect others to be observant enough to see that.

You're a very immature individual who knows how to give a good first impression. I'm gonna leave it at that.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I think you're in love with me. 😉

[Apple1996]

I'm already a stay at home mom and my husband makes WAY less than that

[DoctorSex]

I dislike the idea of "Stay at Home" lifestyles,
I believe it's contributed to the absolute waste dump that is the public space.
It's almost as if we live like animals, only caring for what's within those 4 walls, we live the house only for groceries and money, screw everything else outside..
As a result, we are all to blame for the degradation of society. There's far too much on the world to do and if you can read this message, then you are far too privileged to simply do nothing.
I expect my wife to be active in the community, setting up charities and working with young women.

Kind regards,

[exitseven]

So you would be okay with strangers raising your kids? That is a big contributor to the degradation of society you mention. The nuclear family is eroding and nobody notices it.

[DoctorSex]

@exitseven I believe you've misunderstood me and that's fine, I didn't go into more detail.

The nuclear family concept is probably is a modern western concept of man, woman and child.
I'm thinking of a more an ancient concept that stood the test of time for thousands of years. It's quite a simple concept, think in terms of a lion.
A lion has a piece of good land, and in the land the lionnesses are actively hunting, every kill the lion takes a percentage for his strength and tax, the women get the satisfaction of hunting which is what a lot of women really want to do, and why feminism was created in the first place.

If you think about it, my concept is actually more like pimping lol but instead of selling their bodies, a woman will sell whatever the core family business is. This is one of the main reasons why I bought 5 acres of land abroad and currently studying agriculture.

Kind regards,

[DoctorSex]

The nuclear family concept is a modern abrahamic religious concept*

[DoctorSex]

Forgive me for the gross errors in grammar, I've just finished 3 hours at the gym and I've been up since 5am. It's 8:30pm now.

[exitseven]

I had a killer workout this morning myself. I get it.

[exitseven]

My wife was a stay at home parent and I never earned anywhere near the top 10%. It was probably more like the bottom 10%

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[midnightmoon05]

It sure is possible. But many have a need to buy… so they can’t seem to make it even with two incomes.

[exitseven]

@midnightmoon05 we struggled but we wanted to raise our own kids.

[midnightmoon05]

When we struggle we become better.

[midnightmoon05]

I was a stay home mom for 3 years. Then I got horned. So I went back to work. I enjoy working and love my kids. I am so happy I stayed home for those few years.
any can do that finically would be great for both mom and kids … but not just get married then stay home. To me that’s lazy…

My husband is a stay home dad now… it’s working out great! He takes care of all household stuff… it just makes life that much easier.
my sister just had her baby. I am encouraging her to stay home for a few years like me… so we’ll see.

[midnightmoon05]

We don’t need to be top 10% earners. In fact my ex. hubby lost his job for 9 months. We got by and later on, with both being on the same page… we became financially free from the government system. Just don’t buy into the sect society… anyone can do that in this country.

[midnightmoon05]

debt *

[Emiliamazing]

I am the higher earner in the household, and several years ago my husband decided to work for himself to be available more as a parent. This year has been a little bit of an exception because his business has been terrifically busy. He seems very happy to be around the kids more than in years past, so I think it was good for us.
The challenging part, and this could be said for any parental set, is that our kids wish I was the one who stayed home more. That’s something I’m not quite willing to do, but maybe down the line we will try to swap.

[Man-O-Metal]

Never. I love my job way too much. I have so much opportunity to involve myself in unique projects and use my knowledge to solve real problems that create unbelievable solutions. I come from a lineage of men who worked with metal in a thousand different ways. I will never walk away from it. It's my passion and one of my reasons for living. I thank God every day for helping me find my true purpose and giving me the opportunity to succeed at helping others with my interests. I don't care how much my future spouse will make. Work keeps me busy. And if I'm busy, I'm happy.

[HighValue]

How much money they have to spend is highly dependent on where they live. Even using the USA as an example, if someone makes $100k and lives in New York, LA, San Francisco, etc. they actually have less spending money and a worse lifestyle than someone making $65k and living in other areas of the country like the central valley in CA.

[TransAm85]

No.. That's y I got my tubes tied. I have no patience for children and if our baby would've survived, I would've hired a nanny. I'd get bored. Housewife life is not appealing to me. I truly respect the women that can do that, but I couldn't.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I would always want to work, its my nature. I'd rather just have or start my own business... so I can set my own schedule around school and kids and such.

[Emilyis]

I am a stay at home mom of two little ones and we may try one more time to see if We can get a boy but even if not. I will probably go back to work when My youngest starts preschool or kindergarten.

[DizzyDesii]

I’d only be okay being a stay at home parent for the kids first 2 years. When they turn 3 and go to preschool then i prefer to be working again

[Adronicus]

Sure, just as long as she remembers who's the man in the bedroom which I'd make impossible for her to forget:) I'm a Venus in Cancer & most of us are all in when it comes to family / home.

[TacosRAwesome]

No. Going to work is my only means to seeing humans that are not family. I'd happily work part time at a grocery story if I have to but I need some work.

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope not at all.

it’s more than just about the money.

[courtney06]

Only if that means stay at home cat mom. However I would still practice my hobbies.

[LazerBean]

I don't know if he's in the top 10% or not but I'm currently staying home when I want anyway.

[EaterPeter]

No, I urge women to not do that either. Please make some money or have some place to go at least for couple of hours. Be able to take care of what matters to you. Do not heavily rely on someone ever.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for likes!

[NovaCourier]

If we jointly agreed that it was the best idea for the child (ren) yes. Otherwise no.

[FilmGuy93]

Probably not. Most women aren't super down with going to work while their husbands stay at home.

[bean2k21]

No I'd leave and take that baby and get child support to finance my drinking.

[Anonymous]

I earn a little more than that and my wife and I agreed that's exactly what she'll do when we have kinds. We both want our children to have a real mother.

[Subarugirl]

Being a stay at home mother doesn't automatically make you a real mother any more that working a 9 to 5 makes you a real father... lol

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Being a woman who hires other people to raise her children for her is 100% not being a real mother.

[Subarugirl]

as opposed to what? living in poverty? You shouldn't expect your spouse to do something that you wouldn't be willing to do yourself? It's that what men do?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Lol, my family hardly lives in poverty. But my children will get 3 times the love, attention and care that daycare babies get.

Look, I understand your kids don't get that and you feel like shit about it, so you are understandably defensive. But it doesn't change the fact that children who are raised by a real mother... who personally takes care of their needs rather than paying someone else who really doesn't love or care about them to do it for her... are better adjusted, more intelligent, and healthier children... and adults.

I genuinely feel sorry for your children. And you, because you have to live with that.

[Subarugirl]

actually I don't at all, my child excels in his education and socially. He enjoys going to school and has a great relationship with both me and his father. I meet or make sure that all of my child's need are met and he is thriving. I single handedly financially supported my family for the first 3 years of his life, and am more involved in his life that most people are in their kid's life. So you can keep you pity and give it to those who actually need it because my family and I are thriving hon.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Sure, I understand. I know a lot of moms like you who say all the same things in public, but privately hate themselves for how they are robbing their children of the things only a real mother can give them. But I understand, you only do what you are capable of doing and that has to be good enough for your child.

[Subarugirl]

well unless you are a mind or know me more intimately than my husband does, you are making wild speculations lol So which is it hon?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl There is no speculation required here, hon.

[Subarugirl]

Okay so then you are either claiming to either know me better than anyone else or that you're a mind reader lmao

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl It's just a fact that children who don't have a real mother and instead get raised by daycare workers who don't care about them and can't give them all the love and life lessons a real mother can typically develop mentally and emotionally into less healthy adults. But don't worry, I'm sure your child is that one exception.

[Subarugirl]

Lmao well then good think my child isn't being raised by a day care worker isn't it... I can assure you though as someone who was raised by a stay at home mother... it doesn't automatically mean its better for the child.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Yeah, definitely a good 'think' your little boy isn't being raised by a daycare worker like most children are. He's better off than most kids today, but not nearly as well off as he could have been. He's definitely not being raise by his mother, the most important person in his life, if you single handedly financially supported your family for the first 3 years of his life.

You (and mostly he) missed out on the majority of his waking hours during the three most critical years of his development. Recent brain research indicates that birth to age three are the most important years in a child’s development. You missed most of that, and all the critical opportunities that come with it. You missed the chance, as his mother, to take full advantage of all that recent research to maximize your child's growth and development during the most critical time in his life to develop his brain, his emotional intelligence and his cognitive abilities. There are countless small, but critically important ways that you, as his mother, could have taken advantage of that time to make him the best little boy (and adult) he can be. But that opportunity is gone now.

www.cde.ca.gov/.../caqdevelopment.asp

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl You (and he) also missed out on your opportunity to bond with him during that critical stage in his emotional development. You, as his mother, and he as your child, had the chance to do thousands of little things to create that life-long bond, and create those memories that are so important to a child, and your relationship with him. But those opportunities are gone now too.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5330336/

But don't fret and don't look back. It's water under the bridge now. You may have missed most the most important years in his life, but you have the chance to make better choices in the future and make the most of what you have left while you still have the opportunity to help him. I'm sure you won't wonder, as he encounters challenges later in his childhood, and his adult life, if they could have been avoided had you made different choices as his mother. I hope you can put those out of your mind and focus instead on what you were able to do for him. That is going to be your challenge, and your cross to bear. He will have his own challenges, but that will be yours, and your alone.

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl These reasons, and so many more, are why my children will be raised by a real mother

[Subarugirl]

Lol you’re ignorance is hilarious. XD

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl Everything I said is a scientifically supported truth. And the fact that your only response is to say I'm ignorant shows you are incapable of refuting any of it.

[Subarugirl]

The show me the studies, show me the scientific proof…

[Subarugirl]

How am I supposed to refute a lie? Lmao

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl I already provided you two links, and using Google you could find countless others if you actually cared to. I'll get you started.

www.educationalneuroscience.org.uk/.../

wtop.com/.../

https://www.zerotothree.org/early-development

toolkit.capta.org/.../

www.healthlinkbc.ca/.../your-childs-development-birth-3-years

www.cdc.gov/.../early-brain-development.html

[Anonymous]

i'd be depressed as fuck. always at home? no ambitions, no goals? no thanks.

[Anonymous]

No, i am not comfortable feeling like i am a bag of money.
We will both make money and build wealth.

[driven159]

no not in my nature have to do something even if it is to make my own money

[LimitedBenefits101]

A real mother stays at home and takes cares of the kid while the dad is hard working

[Anonymous]

Id divorce them to finance staying at home while fucking other and hotter girls

[Bratsondanielle]

I am already a stay at home

[andreasderjuengere]

I'd leave her: because she joined the rat-race.

[Agape93]

Nope, I don't hate myself that much

[Jerseygirl1987]

Or you also could work from home.

[007kingifrit]

top 10% of earners is only like 100k a year, no

[bamesjond0069]

No but im in that bracket so i expect her to.

[ArtemisSilver]

Sure

[Jamie05rhs]

Sure, I guess? 🤷

[Anonymous]

Definitely.

[Anonymous]

no..