Are You For Or Against Gay Parents?

Question

as in gay couples adopting kids or using surrogacy. not to biased, but i feel like heterosexual parents are way overrated. love and care is most important.

Kori1236 · Accepted Answer

The orientation of the parents is irrelevant. Are these individuals emotionally intelligent? Financially competent to combat the rising costs of raising children? Are they capable of providing a structured and nurturing environment for a child to grow and thrive?

CateM · Accepted Answer

I'm for it as long as the gay parents in question aren't shitty parents to their child (ren)

abc3643 · Answer

I will let the American Psychological Association speak for me; their statement in 2004 convinced me to change my mind over my own innate beliefs.

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https://www.apa.org/news/press/response/gay-parents

TITLE: APA on Children Raised by Gay and Lesbian Parents
SUBTITLE: How do these children fare?

On the basis of a remarkably consistent body of research on lesbian and gay parents and their children, the American Psychological Association (APA) and other health professional and scientific organizations have concluded that there is no scientific evidence that parenting effectiveness is related to parental sexual orientation. That is, lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children. This body of research has shown that the adjustment, development and psychological well-being of children are unrelated to parental sexual orientation and that the children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish.

In 2004, the APA Council of Representatives adopted a policy resolution including the following statement based on a review of the best available science:

There is no scientific evidence that parenting effectiveness is related to parental sexual orientation: lesbian and gay parents are as likely as heterosexual parents to provide supportive and healthy environments for their children (Patterson, 2000, 2004; Perrin, 2002; Tasker, 1999); See the full Resolution on sexual orientation, gender identity (SOGI), parents and their children (PDF, 99KB) [SEE LINK AT BOTTOM, abc3643.]
APA has continued to monitor the research since 2004 and report that research in our amicus briefs, such as in the Gill vs. OPM case. On the basis of the research, APA continues to oppose any discrimination based on sexual orientation in matters of adoption, child custody and visitation, foster care, and reproductive health services.

===============

(Updated FEB 2020.)

APA RESOLUTION on Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity
(SOGI), Parents and their Children

https://www.apa.org/about/policy/resolution-sexual-orientation-parents-children.pdf

Datboi65 · Answer

Absolutely against. The problem to me is the hypocrisy of it all. We know that if you choose a homosexual lifestyle, you let go of your right to have biological children of your own. Why then would you want to take children that came from heterosexual encounters, and then instill your ideas into them? To me that's hypocrisy, and it doesn't make any sense.

Also, it doesn't stop here. I wish the limit would be for those that adopt. They try to spread their agenda into school so now the children that have heterosexual parents also have to get the same ideals due to the education system, and if you don't want your kids learning that then you are a "bigot" and a "homophobe" and whatever else. Not that those people who criticize this behavior do so because they are religious, but they always say it's out of hatred or spite. I don't hate anyone, but I have red lines and those red lines shouldn't be crossed. If you don't stand for something then you will for for anything. And don't worry about the foster children, there is no shortage of heterosexual couples ready to adopt them as they are the majority, so the kids will have a home.

If you DON'T want to have biological kids, stay AWAY from kids. That's the bottom line.

Weapon77 · Answer

Eh, complicated answer. It is biologically proven that one male and one female biological parent is ideal. It's how we evolved for millenia and cannot be beaten in an ideal situation. But there are complicating factors like parents can be neglectful or abusive, sometimes they die, and sometimes they abondon their children or are not allowed to care for them for whatever reason. In those cases, the ideal is no longer possible, so we just want the best possible situation for the children. Same-sex parents might be good solutions to help with that, as long as they are aware of their own limitations as parents. For instance, if both parents are male and they adopt a girl, they'll need to make sure there is an aunt or some other strong female role model in addition to them for their daughter. And lesbian parents who adopt a boy will need to make sure there is an uncle or someone as a strong male role model as well. While there are limitations, same-sex parents are still statistically better than single parents. Obviously, single parents deserve a ton of admiration and respect, ut 2 parents are still better than one for many reasons.

The only other downside to same-sex parents is that homosexual people deal with a higher rate of emotional trauma and emotional disorders that might negatively impact their parenting, but once again, we almost never actually get ideal situations. Same-sex parents who suffer from depression but are trying their best are a hell of a lot better than neglectful straight parents or no parents at all.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I don't care. I just think it's important for children to see a healthy relationship modeled by adults.

If two men are married and adopt a child, I think it's important for that child to see the men demonstrate what a healthy relationship is and how men are supposed to act. I think it's important for that child to also have a positive female adult around. Doesn't have to be in a heterosexual relationship, but any adult female who they can look to for how a woman should act. It's important for juvenile males and females to see how both sexes are supposed to be as adults.

Like this is what a good man/woman is and this is how a good man/woman treats others. So that child can grow up and know how to act and what to look for in a future romantic partner.

CrazyGirl2 · Answer

I Think that any child raised by loving, caring, nurturing parents is extremely lucky! Anyone who is so small minded that they believe gays should not be parents, are just small minded bigots, not worth my time! I am so blessed to have so many friends from such diverse backgrounds, or who are completely different to me because I learn so much from them. Anyone who follows me, knows that I have a trans best friend, well I also have a best friend who was adopted by two gay dads! She just joined the air force rather than going straight to college after school. BOTH her dads served in the armed forces, and she is the most beautiful, sweet girl who is so loved, so smart, so incredibly independent and courageous, I both admire and respect not only her, but BOTH of her dads who saved her from a life of likely being abused in foster care!

cryscrys1 · Answer

I have seen horrible M & F parents so I’m not against this. It’s endless cases of M & F parents abusing kids so all it matters is that those 2 parents raise kids healthy and happy it doesn’t matter if it’s MM or FF. And no don’t be dumb being raised let’s say from a gay dad won’t make a child gay. They are
B O R N that way. Don’t confuse it with religion , religion is something that infects/brainwashes kids easily.
In fact most of people don’t agree with this because religion has poisoned their soul and mind not to accept gay or any LGBTs.

When it comes to adoption people prays others who adopt cats and dog and rats and snakes and you don’t agree with 2 humans adopting baby humans
I mean wHaTtt?

CubsterShura · Answer

From the update it seems you already have the answer and asking this question was pointless. If you are not accepting any opposing answers you are better off not asking at all.

Research has showed gender or sexual orientation of parents aren't relevant for a child to have a fulfilling upbringing and are just as likely to flourish as children of heterosexual parents. If you think about it, children are children. They need love, affection, care, guidance, time. They don't care what's inside the pants of the person meeting their needs.

DoctorSex · Answer

I think it's a horrible idea. I have no dog in the western fight. Humans have debated for thousands of years, what the best way to raise children is. We concluded across all cultures that a man and woman were the best predictors for a productive and emotionally balanced child.

But degradation is the current state of affairs in the west so we are all going to discover together how and why societies crumble when we move away from these norms. Let gay couples adopt and let us watch together and relearn why it doesn't work.

Kind regards,

Rania05 · Answer

Children needs both a mother and father figure, while sexual orientation can't be controlled, it can be influenced during growth. For me, being hetrosexual, asexual or demisexual are very preferable for sexual orientation, no offense for homosexuals, but it's so much better liking the opposite sex.

Don't go around adopting when you can't provide what hetrosexual parents can, homosexuality shouldn't be even known to kids. I only knew about it at 13 and accepted it so I think it's for the better to pass preteens before getting to understand anything related to word "sex" except gender awareness

LovingLoverReturned · Answer

I don't know you tell me. What does it mean to be for and against? Protests? Going out of my way to either protest for or against?

If that is such then I must not care what they do. But I do feel sorry for the kids just as i do for single parents kids lacking opportunity, a child learning what a good woman and man is from their parents is the preferred choice, at home, they learn from young, what they are seeing everyday.

Hetero and homo couples can both be bad or good people. When did I say otherwise?

You can bet though that homo couple will have a lot more difficulties, WHY? because life is already difficult and harsh toward what is unnatural. In nature, the odd baby in the litter is sometimes abandoned.

Amd the parents difficulties affect the child.

bayoubob · Answer

I'm for it. Like I have to tell everybody and their son. I'm not religious. I'm not anti Gay, even though as a practice, I am as far right as Steven Crowder on most shit. Gay people can live freely. That is PARAMOUNT. That is what makes this Country the Greatest in The World. We do everything whilst not jeopardizing any right that indeed surpasses Separation Of Church AND STATE. Too many are hung up on that. Besides the 2 greatest Amendments that is Freedom of Religion, and Freedom of To Bear Arms. SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE IS PERHAPS THE MOST PARAMOUNT!

Theabcking · Answer

As a single heterosexual man going to use surrogacy, I think they are brilliant. I am very thankful for homosexual couples. Without them creating the need for demand for surrogacy, I would have to get married, and most hate me.

So now I don't need a wife and can just pay for single-man surrogacy. I know I am going to be a better father on my own.

pewter_moon · Answer

Why would someone be against any child having a loving home? I personally know several same couple families who have adopted some traumatized middle aged kids out of foster care. I’ve witnessed them grow out of their shells and turn into some streetwise, but truly caring people. Just because they are now in a permanent and solid space with people they can rely on.

whereismyjohnny · Answer

I'm for it. If they are going to be good and loving parents, but also provide a good and safe home for kids, what's the issue?

Some people are obsessed with this idea ''kids should have mum and dad, not two dads or two moms'' but the truth is kids need families (talking about adoption). Gay or straight family, it's better than orphanages and foster homes. A gay couple can provide kids the loving home they need and deserve, just as a straight couple can.

LindsayR07 · Answer

I think that the way the system weighs heavily towards heterosexual couples based on their heterosexuality, as if it contributed somehow to a healthy environment for the kids is disgusting.

I also feel that religious based adoption agencies excluding homosexual couples based on their sexuality is disgusting as for every couple who is fit and wants to care for a child that is denied, there is a child (or multiple) who is doomed to be stuck in the foster system, which despite the efforts of those on the ground, has lackluster results. They are subjecting harm to children simply to enforce their own hate... I also have some serious questions of legality if they are receiving a single red cent of taxpayer money in the process.

Children are not pawns, most of them just need a decent place to land, and group homes are less than ideal.

humanearth · Answer

Don't care, as long as the kids are taking care and not pushing societies made up bullshit.

That bullshit fucks up a kids head faster than drugs.

For example

Political shit

Being a Karen

And other crap

Teach the kids how to survive in wild without Internet, cellphones, how to start fires, how to find food, how to build shelter, how to make money, how keep a job, how to do math in their head, how to be independent

Shit like this

I don't care if straight, bent sideways or a full blown flamer. Teaching kids and setting the example is the point I'm trying to make.

So two dudes, two chicks or a man woman combination, as long as they get the job done.

That's all that matters

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I'm for it, but at the same time. I'm not for making adoption agencies go against their beliefs if they are against it, such as if they are religious agencies and it goes against their values.

Forcing them to, would just force them to shut down and not subsidize adoptions, make them more expensive.

Using surrogacy usually isn't a problem.

iiinsOMNIA · Answer

Why would someone  not  be okay with it? Genuinely curious. In my opinion, I think if a homosexual couple wants to have kids, there is no reason they shouldn't be allowed to, as long as they can provide for their kids and raise them in a safe environment.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Only an idiot would be opposed to something based on so little information. I’m for GOOD parents and i’m against BAD parents. It’s telling that people who protest gay marriage and parenting aren’t worried about the effects of cheating, divorce and child abuse on “the sanctity of marriage”. Ell oh ell!

call_me_scar · Answer

For if a couple wants a kid and can take care of it they should have the right to adopt plus with the unfortunate destruction of Roy v wade we need people who want to adopt as I would imagine the number of kids being born and put into adoption agencies has gone up

Sensmind · Answer

I told agree with your comment about once a child is loved and cared for, the make up of their family should not matter. I am not saying that there is no bad gay parents but I am definitely not saying that all hetro parents are good. My country had a referendum that granted same sex couples the same rights has hetro couples in everything legal and the sky has not fallen in.

SparkyDi · Answer

Well, according to statistics (williams institute)

in 2016, there were 705,000 Same sex couple households in the USA.

359,000 were female/female, and 346,000 were male/male.

roughly 49% of the male/male and 52.2% of the female/female were married

Only 28,000 male/male households were raising children compared to 86,000 female/female households.

These numbers have only increased since that last research, especially in regards to the female households. Roughly 55% of gay marriages are female/female today, and a similar number of gay households.

If we look even further into the Gallup Poll, or the CDC.. Roughly 15% of all women, and 5% of all men are LGBTQ. I am certain many of those are wanting to raise children as well. If we go further, roughly 25% of women, and 10% of men have some sort of homosexual interest.

I would say they are capable of raising children.. Not much research shows anything significantly negative.

SnowedIn · Answer

Children need love, nurturing, parameters, discipline, freedom to make mistakes, education, guidance, advice, friendship, safe spaces, trust, affection, smiles, laughs, stability, play, fun, safety, just to name a few.

Any couple of whatever sex that's willing to provide that for their kids, then I am absolutely for that.

(That was a long-winded "yes" to your question.)

OfDeath · Answer

Back in my day, that would've been hell on earth for the kid when she has to go to school and face the inevitable bullying. It's not as bad these days with people being a lot more tolerant for this sort of thing. There are still places where it would be torture though.

Haha456 · Answer

Studies actually prove kids born to gay or lesbian parents actually do better in school than kids born to heterosexual parents.

The reason is due to financial stability. Gay parents who can adopt and have kids tend to be more financially stable and educated. Financially stable parents can afford to send their kids to tutoring or elite schools. Poor parents are less likely to be able to do that

Guy13 · Answer

Parents are defined by two people, in their Natural form and function, purposed a human Life. Same-Sex relationships are incapable of this, therefore, there is no such thing as Gay or same sex Parents. Babysitters or Keepers yes but definitely not Parents.

desperatelyhungry · Answer

I think a parent needs both parents, with that said, if single parents are allowed to adopt (which I’m not saying is always the case) then I think you could argue they don’t necessarily have a father figure (or vice versa) so if we’re going by that standard, a loving family would be better than living in a home or unfit parents

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

I'm against gay people getting kids. I just don't trust that sexual deviants aren't gonna take one more step towards molesting the kids. I also don't think it's a good environment for teaching them to be a functional man/ woman in society. We shouldn't be normalizing these deviancies, it just emboldens the next fringe sexuality/ fetish to push itself onto society.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Someone's ability to raise kids isn't driven by their habits in the bedroom. There are plenty of crappy parent out there. If someone is going to give a child a loving home, the time they need and the emotional support they need what does their sexual orientation have to do with it?

menina · Answer

I'm against surrogacy in general. To me it doesn't matter if we're talking about a heterosexual couple or a gay couple. But I'm for adoption for both. There are so many children who need love, a family and a home.

RangerBlue22 · Answer

Well good luck being a role model and explaining to your straight kids what sex is all about.

With that said there are gay parents who are willing to adopt kids who might not otherwise have a home or consistent parents. That I can respect.

However your comment about “heterosexual parents are overrrated” is such insane woke garbage it makes me want to vomit. Of course a brainwashed liberal 22 year old would say that.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Only thing I'm against are shitty parents. Nothing has ever made it evident that same sex couples make for bad parents.

RobT312 · Answer

My neighbors are the couple you describe. They are great parents and have created a loving family. That is what counts

Puppystarfish23 · Answer

Shouldn't matter a family is a family and if they can provide a child a stable, loving, safe home now could I have anything against that

sassy_receptor · Answer

for. as long as those gay parents can provide a stable and loving home for their children, i don’t see an issue.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

A parent is a parent... However, depending on the parents' experience in life they can teach and guide with the important things in life for the child to grow into a responsible and well raised adult. However there must always be a maternal and paternal presence.

loveslongnails · Answer

I'm not totally against it, but I see a number of real issues that present themselves, so. So much depends on who the parents are and what their beliefs are, and what they're going to teach the kid, and how can you determine that? How can you determine what your standard hetero couple is going to teach their kid? Tough call.

Jessica405 · Answer

Against. I would hate to be the "daughter" of two gay men. I value my natural mother as a parent, friend and mentor. Two guys just would not cut it. I would disown them. Harsh, I know, but it is MY right to feel the way I do.

Bratsondanielle · Answer

As a normal person I feel like babies should be raised in a normal family and as we all know that means a mom and a dad. One of each gender/sex that exists. That's how it's been done for thousands of years

sheenagwapa · Answer

not against it's a strinh word but more of not a fan of it. i think children should grow up with a mother figure and a father figure although gat parents can definitely give amazing love for their children

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Anyone can be a parent if they have love to give to a child. Family isn't about sex

AdithyaR · Answer

Agreed. As long as they have a healthy relationship and have the means to provide for the child, they should be able to adopt.

SlothySlob · Answer

I don't really care. There was a line somewhere along the path we took, but we clearly passed it a long time ago. Let's just keep going to see where we can get to.

Pyrofox · Answer

I'm pretty neutral the most important thing is are they parentally literate and not just chasing the tax breaks that come with being a parent/married.

Adaeva · Answer

Whether or not they make good parents, I don't know. However, I want as little government involvement as possible. There should be no laws preventing it.

USLegionary · Answer

Many gay people have children before they decide to be openly gay. As for adoption I believe a lot of people who can't have kids because of infertility issues are being missed out on.

mrkdvsn · Answer

According to conservative opinion, parents consisting of a heterosexual mom and a dad are in the best interests of the emotional and social well-being of their children

420Rachel · Answer

Definitely for it. It doesn’t matter what a child’s family unit looks like as long as they’re getting the love and attention they deserve.

connemara_crocodile · Answer

Gay parents are the biggest source of parents for orphans, let them have as many kids as they can properly maintain!

exitseven · Answer

I am not sure about this. I really do not know any kids with 2 gay parents. I do know that kids from divorced parents do not do as well and kids with step parents mostly resent them.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

For. Unless they just want an aesthetic child.

AngryCarl · Answer

Eh, I'm just a bigot confused by the modern world. If the kids are happy, who am I to complain?

Blackcupcake · Answer

I think people should mind their own business as long as no parents are being abusive or neglecting their children.

frognzl · Answer

Against. Boy needs strong male and female father and mother figures and vice versa for female. It’s just instinctual and doesn’t require further explanation.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I think it’s a little questionable if they adopt same sex kids…. There have been times where gay couples sexually abuse their adopted kids that happen to be the same sex as them.

MountAverage · Answer

Parents need to be loving, caring, supportive, protective, guiding, and teaching. Gender and sexual orientation are not part of the equation with any of these things.

MysticDevice · Answer

I don't think its a great idea.  Women can't teach boys how to be men, and men can't teach girls how to be women.  You need one of each parent for a well-rounded upbringing.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I don't care as long the people are actually good parents and won't prey on children plus it isn't my personal business anyway so I just leave it as that.

Anonymous · Answer

We evolved/created to be parented by adult men and women as to learn both sexes. Homosexuality not only is incapable of evolution its inherently lacking half the equation.

IJhonnyI · Answer

Neither, I'm not for gay parents but I'm not against either.

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