What is wrong with me Im still mad of people who did me wrong is this normal?

[Anonymous]

The people who bullied me Im still mad

[Anonymous]

I’m too! When i was in secondary school, i was bullied by a group of friends ( they were my close friends previously) and they came up to me and told me that i had talked behind their back while i certainly hadn’t. They were always laughing at me and whisper each other whenever they saw me. They talked behind my back. They did everything to bring me down and now i certainly lost my confident after all these stuff. They stole my life and confidence. I think they did what they wanted. I regret to be friends with such evil people. Now i think twice before making friends

[Asker]

Omg girl same. I lost confidence Im working on that now.

[Opinion Owner]

Be friends with people who values you and don’t open up to them too much. It’s too hard to get over the trauma. I still haven’t get over it for years.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you’re mad that you didn’t stand up for yourself, or you may harbor some trauma from what happened, and if it affects your life now then you contribute that with them. But if you’re 25-29 and this all happened in like high school then you should get professional help so you can finally put that all behind you. It’s been a long time.

[Asker]

Ngl the one who bullied me died and it feels amazing maybe I really have trauma

[Opinion Owner]

That’s really bad. You didn’t address if this happened in HS or not so I’m gonna assume it was, and if that’s the case then y’all were kids. People grow and change as adults, and the fact you’re holding such a grudge that you’re glad someone literally died is just sad in my opinion.

[Asker]

Lol she was my coworker she spread nasty rumors about me. She bullied me everyday

[Asker]

Why? If only she's nice Id feel sympathy

[Opinion Owner]

Gotcha, well scratch what I said pertaining to school and being kids. But still, it’s strange to be so stoked that she died. I get that she was a messed up person, I think we’ve all experienced this at one point or another but I wouldn’t be glad they died. I’m not telling you how to feel, I’m just saying it’s weird. Totally fine if you disagree.

[Asker]

Lol maybe the world will be a better place if people are only nice.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you ever stand up for yourself against her?

[Asker]

No. Because Im afraid she might physically hurt me

[Opinion Owner]

Then that’s on you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as non confrontational as they come, pretty passive and have a hard time standing up for myself. But if someone thinks that means I’ll be a doormat then they have another thing coming. Even i can recognize that people take advantage of kindness and will walk all over you if you allow it. Don’t be so mad at her, be mad that you didn’t advocate for yourself when you should’ve. Use your voice instead of sit quietly by and be embarrassed. Sure you can say “oh she should’ve been kind”, people don’t owe you kindness, that’s why you have to have your own back, not expect someone to step in to do it for you.

[Opinion Owner]

And no adult is going to physically assault you at work for telling them to back off. This isn’t high school we aren’t risking our jobs to be assholes to people.

[Asker]

I know lol. But I told everyone about her though and people were like I didn't know she's such a bully and I found out some others that she's not only rude to me but there are some people who she treated like shit too so its new to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe she wasn’t a bully but you felt that way because she wasn’t very nice to you. Otherwise people would notice that as well. I had a whole boss who treated me poorly, gave me the worst shifts and yelled at me all the time but went to lunch with my coworkers, so friendly with them and etc. But I’m not gonna call her a bully and revel in her death.

[Asker]

Lol she's a backstabber. How do u feel when someone back stab you?

[Opinion Owner]

I think this mindset comes with maturity and being humane as well. It also comes with holding myself accountable for situations I didn’t have to be in. I could’ve stood up for myself, went to HR about her or any number of things but I chose to soldier through it silently, as did you. You need to do better when it comes to these things, then you would harbor such a grudge towards her and instead focus on being better to yourself.

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t wish death on a single person who did me wrong. Not on my ex best friend who slept with my ex boyfriend, not the people who stole money from me, not the woman who tried to fight me at the bar, I don’t live my life with grudges because it does nothing for me. So no, I can’t relate.

[Asker]

I need therapy. And maybe surrounf myself with nice people

[Asker]

Hey girl dony get me wrong I didn't wish her death she just died and I felt relieved cuz she won't make other miserable anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

You really do, and I’m not saying that rudely at all, I’m just saying you need to find ways to deal with what you’re feeling. You also have to get better about standing up for yourself even if it makes you scared or uncomfortable. I’ve cried immediately after having to speak up about things bc it’s hard for me, but if I didn’t advocate for myself I know I’d feel angry and ashamed later. We all wish everyone was kind and peaceful but the world doesn’t work that way hun.

[Opinion Owner]

You were probably the only one miserable. Anyone else who felt that way was also silent through her bad behavior. That’s why people tell you they didn’t know she was so bad, because they didn’t experience it first hand and probably because they wouldn’t let that happen to them.

[Asker]

They are not silent she did wrong our boss as well lmao thats why our boss didn't talk to her for a long time

[Opinion Owner]

I didn’t say they were silent, I said they probably can’t relate because they were not silent, I. E “they didn’t experience it first hand and probably because they wouldn’t let that happen to them”. It sounds like she wasn’t a great person, but everyone handled it differently and she knew who she could act up with vs who she couldn’t.

[serious]

No, it is fine to be angry but what is important is to channelize this anger in the right direction and not do something wrong or inappropriate.

You need to use this anger to make yourself better and mentally stronger, if you know how to do that.

[serious]

Thanks for the MHO

[Ashesisanobody]

It depends on how long ago it was for example I'm still very mad a t my ex who's been my ex for 4 months and 2 days.