Are we obligated to trust a friend?

[Skyros]

I’m slow to trust people after being hurt so much. There’s someone I’d like to be friends with, but not sure I trust them. I’d like to.

[Sonorous]

Trust is a nuanced concept that I believe should always be evaluated in light of the information we receive from the world. In my view, it's nearly impossible to place unwavering trust in anyone, and I emphasize "generally" for a specific reason.

Because I firmly believe that there are certain, highly specific aspects in which we can place complete trust in others. I consider myself living proof of this principle. Those I encounter can have absolute confidence that I will never intentionally betray their trust. My friends, for instance, can entrust me with their most sensitive information, secure in the knowledge that it will remain confidential unless they decide otherwise. I take immense pride in embodying this particular facet of trustworthiness. To provide some context, you could say I'm akin to the character in movies who withstands capture and torture without divulging any information.

My perspective stems from the realization that humans are far from infallible. We don't inhabit a perfect world where, by making the right choices and trusting the right individuals, only good things befall us. Life is inherently messy, punctuated by inevitable moments of suffering. In fact, suffering is deeply entwined with how we derive meaning from our existence. Thus, placing absolute trust in anyone is, in my opinion, a form of self-delusion, akin to living in a self-created fantasy.

[Sonorous]

www.youtube.com/watch

[GoodManDave]

It depends on the friend. I have a “friend” who said nasty things, backed up rumors and lies, and told strangers things that are no one’s business. I don’t trust him very far. He’s lost the trust. I like going to his parties from time to time, because he does know some decent enough people, and he’s ok in very small doses. I just don’t tell him anything private. There are some friends that you forgive, but don’t forget. There are the “friends” you “break up with.” And there are friends that are almost family, and they have done nothing to betray your trust. I think there are different amounts for different people. And I think trust has to be earned, and kept.

[HitsyHonesty]

Obligated NO! Them being a friend doesn't mean that you can't trust them! Them being a friend doesn't mean that you should! One friend is different from another friends.

Friends are replaceable because you can befriend somebody without having a strong bond. It's when you build that bond, you can start trust them more.

A friend of mine entrusts his passwords with me for his game accounts. This man only games so that's a pretty big thing to entrust to somebody. I could change it at any time! But I don't wanna! He's been nothing short of a good friend to me! And if he wasn't, I still wouldn't. Matter of principle. Morals. How long do I know this man for, you wonder? How long did it take him to give his info up without me having to ask, without question out of the blue? Over ten years! I've known him for such a long time, we can pretty much read each other's mind right now!

[jennifer_bloom]

I think you have an obligation to assume people are good when it comes to not accusing or vilifying but I do to believe you are expected to rely on their trustworthiness or depend on it for things you need or for things that other people need.

Like if I have kids, I won't let a man baby sit them or be alone in the house with them but I don't assume the man will rape them, I just want to avoid that possibility in case my assessment of their good character is incorrect and they are more evil than I initially assumed they were.

And if you think my view is offensive, I have relatives who know people that were molested by their male family members so it does happen sometimes. I also had friends that were molested by their male family members and by their dad's male friends.

[Nikki1989]

No, trust has to be earned, and that takes some time.

[Skyros]

Thanks

[BrightBubblyKat]

at the worst, you lose the friendship. It’s not going to kill you or destroy you if it fails. So what have you got to lose?

[Skyros]

It’s the emotions and attachments that make it so painful. I get your point though.

[Rei13]

If you are friends with someone you should trust them otherwise why even be friends with them to begin with. Whenever I was in my late teens to early twenties I had a hard time making friends so I took what I could get but as I’ve gotten older I’ve cut anyone that I couldn’t trust. Not like a hard cut where there was drama, more like just stopped putting effort into spending time with them and it faded on its own. If you don’t feel like you can trust this person move on to the next one

[jshm2]

Friends are for friendship, they are not business partners, or family.

Trust is a different thing entirely. There can be family and friends you do not trust.

Your problem is naivety, most likely. You do not set boundaries and end up trusting anyone you get close with. That is a problem you need to fix.

[Anonymous]

You're obligated to make the other person feel trusted.

All is fair in love, war and the game of life. If you want to be a good person, you can try to make your lack of trust very obvious by avoiding situations which require them to place in you the trust you don't have in them

[electromagnetic]

I don’t trust. I learn and adapt to see if the information people provide are reputable. It’s so easy to lie and trusting people isn’t always in the best interest. I think we do it because we believe that what we owe the person.

[jeffend888]

Nobody is obligated to do anything.

As far as friends go, just be aware to not say anything you don't want getting out. Anything and everything you say will get out at some point or another.

[genericname85]

gotta find the right balance. not trusting anyone ever isn't a solution. but if there's no indication for betrayal, you shouldn't doubt a friend.

[AnusNdaPainus]

This may be foolish

but I believe in giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and seeing the good in others because God believed that mankind was worth saving

[exitseven]

No, but sooner or later you have to be able to trust somebody

[DreamLife7]

Then they're not your friend. Stop wasting their time

[Anonymous]

If they are your friend you know whether or not they can be trusted depending on the issue.

[AmeerX]

I am slow to trust and once that's been established I am very gullible 😅

[Nylife20j]

No your obligated to trust no one. You should know the person by studying them. It's simple

[legalboxers]

Nope. I dont.. But why you would you call them a friend...

[thealtaiprincess]

Friendship without trust is acquaintanceship.

[Friendlybro79]

Obligated by what or whom?

[noohair]

That is what defines friends.