Just like a party person can change into a homebody and it happen vice-versa?

I was once the reserved, somewhat shy introvert, homegirl with few friends. I used to have good grades during my school and college years.

Now as a woman in my mid-late 30's I've become a party person. My first ex boyfriend drained too many years from me; even got scammed too. I've been partying like no tomorrow and drinking at some occasions. It's like I'm now doing what I should've done long ago, during my earlier years. I never got to experience what it's like being invited to countless events. If it wasn't for work, I would be right now at a club, dancing all night long. I don't care anymore. I've wasted my school years for nothing. Being an innocent, sweet girl was all for nothing. Being a faithful girlfriend was all for nothing.

I'm a former goody-two-shoes. That's what my ex boyfriend used to refer me to. So people can change right? Just like a former wild, party person becomes a homebody and reserved person... can the opposite happen too?

Updates

+1 y

Honestly the only reason I was into doing great at school is because I was bullied (socially, obstracized) from grades 4th to 7th. By getting bullied, they denied the fun of having friends to hang out with, talking about your latest crushes, telling adventures to each other, etc. So yeah my only defense mechanism was studying and doing good at school, which in the end was for nothing.

Drew-1990

Xper 7 Age: 36

Of course it can happen, but should it. I mean getting out more and doing more adventurous things there is nothing wrong with. But going out partying and drinking all the time is that really the best decision. It's your life and your decision I can't stop you but maybe something to think about. I'm the more "goody-two-shoes" myself and been called that many times. I get someone hurt you but should you. I would not give up caring I won't lie I should have gone out more and should now too but their are better places than clubs.

Asker

+1 y
It's not just someone hurting me but other disappointments in life too. For instance all those years spend on school and getting a good GPA was all for nothing too. I don't have even have something of my own and instead have dead-end job going nowhere. I don't have my goal of having kids and getting married and still have to continue saving money. My life is an emptyness to be honest and it comes to the point you just got fed up of living the life of the straight-laced person, the sweet, introvert and quiet person... when it resulted in nothing.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
If there is something I still like though is French. On this Saturday I'm going to a French reunion to continue practicing my French, which is at an intermediate level. I still remembered it from my HS years.

Reply
Drew-1990

+1 y
Don't get me wrong. I get it that times. I feel like my life goes nowhere. I have a decent job that I'm happy with but for me being the shy innocent good boy has gotten me nowhere with girls and at times I have also thought about just giving up and going out and having wild fun. But in the end I don't think it's wise for myself or anyone. Like I said, go out and have fun but maybe something that's a little less party. At the end of the day it's your choice. I can't make it for you. No one can but you. That's just my insight on it.
And yes, keep doing what you enjoy. If you enjoy French, then keep practicing it and have fun with it.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
I learned the hard way that shyness didn't get me much in life, not even as a woman either. That's the reason I became an easy prey to my first ex boyfriend who kept me in the girlfriend zone for years, lying about marriage and kids; the user that lies about how we're the ''love of his life'' but never proposes, instead future fakes. Those are the vampire bfs that sucks the life out of us, drains our good years.
We have our struggles to. I know for you men is the dreaded endless friendzone but for us is a boyfriend putting us in the ''forever girlfriend'' zone and then starting all over, again the dating process, again being a girlfriend, ugh.

Reply
Asker

+1 y
If there is another thing I've learned that doesn't necessarily holds truth is the old saying ''just be yourself'' and that everything comes out naturally. LOL
Nope. I was myself when I was socially awkward and shy and it got me nowhere.

Reply
Drew-1990

+1 y
Believe me, I know what you're saying. I get it, I really do. I have been tempted to go down the same road you are on extremely. And yes guys and girls have a little bit differently but they both have it hard. But don't think girls won't use guys either, I have been in that friend zone and a girl completely took advantage of the huge crush I had on her. I live the boring life. I wish I went out more and was less shy and awkward. And you can still be yourself but change things like pushing yourself to go out more like you're probably doing now, but maybe to a less extreme.
But something you need to think about. There's plenty of people who've been in the opposite of us who went out partying and did all this stuff that you are doing now and want to do and they would come to your credit more than we do. We have a boring life that doesn't seem to go anywhere. They've come to screw up their lives and wish they lived the more boring life. Going out partying it's just a dangerous game and you're risking screwing of your life in some way. Maybe you won't. Some people never do but I think you're taking a high risk. No one lives the perfect life. You just got to find the good balance of between boring and wild partying. It ain't easy. I'm still working on it

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What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

Drew-1990 Follow
Xper 7 Age: 36 , mho 45%

+1 y

Of course it can happen, but should it. I mean getting out more and doing more adventurous things there is nothing wrong with. But going out partying and drinking all the time is that really the best decision. It's your life and your decision I can't stop you but maybe something to think about. I'm the more "goody-two-shoes" myself and been called that many times. I get someone hurt you but should you. I would not give up caring I won't lie I should have gone out more and should now too but their are better places than clubs.

0

6 Reply
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  It's not just someone hurting me but other disappointments in life too. For instance all those years spend on school and getting a good GPA was all for nothing too. I don't have even have something of my own and instead have dead-end job going nowhere. I don't have my goal of having kids and getting married and still have to continue saving money. My life is an emptyness to be honest and it comes to the point you just got fed up of living the life of the straight-laced person, the sweet, introvert and quiet person... when it resulted in nothing.
  
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  If there is something I still like though is French. On this Saturday I'm going to a French reunion to continue practicing my French, which is at an intermediate level. I still remembered it from my HS years.
  
- Drew-1990
  
  +1 y
  Don't get me wrong. I get it that times. I feel like my life goes nowhere. I have a decent job that I'm happy with but for me being the shy innocent good boy has gotten me nowhere with girls and at times I have also thought about just giving up and going out and having wild fun. But in the end I don't think it's wise for myself or anyone. Like I said, go out and have fun but maybe something that's a little less party. At the end of the day it's your choice. I can't make it for you. No one can but you. That's just my insight on it.
  And yes, keep doing what you enjoy. If you enjoy French, then keep practicing it and have fun with it.
  
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  I learned the hard way that shyness didn't get me much in life, not even as a woman either. That's the reason I became an easy prey to my first ex boyfriend who kept me in the girlfriend zone for years, lying about marriage and kids; the user that lies about how we're the ''love of his life'' but never proposes, instead future fakes. Those are the vampire bfs that sucks the life out of us, drains our good years.
  We have our struggles to. I know for you men is the dreaded endless friendzone but for us is a boyfriend putting us in the ''forever girlfriend'' zone and then starting all over, again the dating process, again being a girlfriend, ugh.
  
- Asker
  
  +1 y
  If there is another thing I've learned that doesn't necessarily holds truth is the old saying ''just be yourself'' and that everything comes out naturally. LOL
  Nope. I was myself when I was socially awkward and shy and it got me nowhere.
  
- Drew-1990
  
  +1 y
  Believe me, I know what you're saying. I get it, I really do. I have been tempted to go down the same road you are on extremely. And yes guys and girls have a little bit differently but they both have it hard. But don't think girls won't use guys either, I have been in that friend zone and a girl completely took advantage of the huge crush I had on her. I live the boring life. I wish I went out more and was less shy and awkward. And you can still be yourself but change things like pushing yourself to go out more like you're probably doing now, but maybe to a less extreme.
  But something you need to think about. There's plenty of people who've been in the opposite of us who went out partying and did all this stuff that you are doing now and want to do and they would come to your credit more than we do. We have a boring life that doesn't seem to go anywhere. They've come to screw up their lives and wish they lived the more boring life. Going out partying it's just a dangerous game and you're risking screwing of your life in some way. Maybe you won't. Some people never do but I think you're taking a high risk. No one lives the perfect life. You just got to find the good balance of between boring and wild partying. It ain't easy. I'm still working on it
  
CozyCoffin Follow
Xper 6 Age: 35

+1 y

Yeah.

0

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Just like a party person can change into a homebody and it happen vice-versa?

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