My house is dirty and my parents are selfish so how do I deal with a dirty house and selfish parents?

[Anonymous]

I lived at home all my life with a workaholic father, a housewife mother. My mum always had a cluttered home it got to a point where it was just piled up and I became a hoarder just like my parents. None of my siblings would ever clean the house including me as i was young but heard people say all sorts about my messy home all my life.

It was just us growing up with a selfish father who is stingy. My mother & father showed their true colours once we got into a family argument with my brother & his wife when they let them verbally abuse me in a confrontation and my brother said "no one cares about you" and didn't stand up for me and I felt the betrayal.

My father is so useless it's unbearable & my mother she practically lived as a single mother raising her kids alone.

Anyways we never got pushed towards education as my mum was too lenient and i hated school as she would neglect taking care of me & she only cared about us working but would never give us money for anything beneficial tbh. She was saving money for us but my dad would never spend on us but give to his siblings backhome where he came from.

Anyways the point is I stayed in a toxic environment & I got married recently and my inlaws house is clean and that inspired me to work on my parents home.

Anyways any time something comes about it doesn't stop my parents from leaving me in the dark. I ruined my own life chasing for love all my life with no guidence even that felt like a battle. Anyways my dad loves to people please and abuses me verbally when I stop wanting to live for others , but for myself and my mum just follows him silently and never stands up for me even when I got bullied all my life. Anyways I need to forget priorising my parents how do I do it and how do I forget about my parents who don't take seconds to make me feel unimportant. My sister is the only person in my life who helped me not my parents. I feel ashamed of my dad. I loved my mum but I need to move on from them they are selfish.

[teamvic]

Sounds to me you need an environment change ma'am

I mean I could tell you to ignore them and all that bullshit but that's never really helpful now is it

Truth is you gotta get away from their asses. And I know. I know, you wish you could. but you're asking for a solution to a problem that you currently don't have the ability to fix

Perhaps that should be your first and main goal. Get away from them

[Asker]

Your right I loved my mum sooo much despite her being sucha bitch to me all the time deep down and never priotising me and actually being there for me when i needed her but she is there for my child more than she ever has been for me. She's the reason why I kept coming home. It doesn't take her seconds to chuck me under the bus when it comes to anyone else & she follows them like a beg when they tell her to do something or turns a blind out to caring about me. I had enough tbh. I mentally can't believe it how I actually always put her first. Even in my marriage I cared about her enough to come home with my child etc since she's gonna be alone. My mum knows I got a degree to complete yet she goes she has to go out etc nd always since growing up just leaves me nd goes wherever and, I've been using her to help me look after my child etc recently I appreciated it but I just feel soo unimportant in their lives tbh. They care more about my child than they ever have both of my parents for their own kids. I avoid staying at my inlaws because there's too many people there but my own home is toxic and dirty just like my parents. I can't afford to move out yet but I hate my parents...