What to do in situation with autistic 6 year old?

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old nephew is autistic. My daughter is 6 years old as well. My daughter loves to sing however, my nephew throw full blown tantrums when anyone sings..

Situation just happened where my daughter was singing songs from the movie Home and my nephew began freaking out. My 7 year old niece then told my daughter to sing in her head so my daughter felt like she did something wrong when she absolutely didn’t.

What should he done in this situation? I pulled my daughter aside and she explained that she loves to sing and wasn’t doing it to upset him….

My sister acts like someone committed a felony anytime someone sings and I think my nephew should be learning that people do that… otherwise, won’t he lose his shit when he’s an adult and anybody sings? Won’t this create problems for him later on? Why should my daughter have to stop watching a movie she likes while singing along to it when he is the one with the issue with it?

Shouldn’t that be a time he’s taught to go somewhere else? vs making someone else stop doing what they enjoy? Thoughts? Keep in mind, apparently I’m on the spectrum and when I feel too overwhelmed, I remove myself from the situation… Feel kind of bad for my niece even who is being trained to live for her brother and not herself.

Updates

1 y

Also he’s verbal and thought to be high functioning

[rosemilk]

i hope your nephew is seeing some kind of behavior specialist for autism. it's not fun for him or anyone when he has tantrums. so trying to minimize it and how he reacts would help a lot, especially for him. he can't control the environment around him, unfortunately. so he can't control when someone wants to sing or not. so that's what i'd recommend. i hope his parents agree to some kind of behavior specialist for autism. i know there is no cure for autism. but i feel like it'd help alleviate some stress for him.

next best thing would be for him to leave the room whenever someone is singing or put in ear plugs. but that's not always realistic

[dustybiker2]

He isn't wrong for "losing his shit" either. He's overwhelmed and cannot help it. They are both young and learning these things.
Life is imperfect. Adapt to each other. One needs to learn to go easy with singing around him. The other needs to learn people sing and will stop if asked nicely.
You are the adults. Guide your children.