Can natcissist be great parent or have a close bond with their children esspecially when the kids become adults?

[Solstraale]

[Skinhead-1979]

That's not a straight froward one.

Narcissists can have relationships, any kind of relationship; but it will always be on their terms for as long as they get something out of it.

Of course because it's a Parent-Child relationship, the bond is stronger. Parents who suffer from 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder' (NPD) can turn against their own children however.

I am sure my ex suffers from NPD, she displays an awful lot of traits; has emotionally abused and groomed me... and I strongly feel she has also groomed the kids since they were born.

She accepts everything from the kids, and allows everything. I was always the one setting the boundaries and enforced, we had, after all, been given that advise by a Paediatrician. I have always felt very alone, while parenting; I received no support from my ex and I feel she has been sabotaging me. She and her father (a very intimidating man; something is not right there either) have been spoiling the kids rotten, which of course ensured their unquestioning loyalty to their mother.

My kids know about everything which has happened. I've felt a need to tell them everything in an attempt to defend myself; I have been destroyed behind my back and everything has been used against me... but even though they know, understood it all... and I of course fully understand that it was all very difficult to hear for them... in the end, they, probably unknowingly, chose for my ex.

My daughter is even fully aware that her mother uses Emotional Manipulation 'tactics' on her to get her to talk.

I've lost them... again... I will be dead if I try to keep contact and my ex will 'police' everything. So I have had to make the difficult decision to put myself first; I've said I will always be there for them if they need me, but that there will be no contact. I could not tell them why I had come to this decision, I, somehow, still felt a need to 'protect' their mother.

My ex is terrified of me because I know who and what she really is; she became more abusive the more I questioned her. She is terrified of what I have to say and that people believe me.

As long as the kids do not voice any positivity about me, or cast any doubt regarding her role in everything, they will safe... but I severely worry about what may happen if/ when they do start to question her. She won't physically hurt them... but mentally she can caused much more damage on top of the damage the 'relationship' between the ex and me has caused already (I am of course partially guilty of that too).

I wish I could be there for them... while I have been a very strict parent, they also know that they can discuss everything with me and that I will be very open and honest towards them. They are still, relatively young (14 and 16) but they are very smart kids and to be able to have any impact with the things I am trying to make them aware of, life in general, I can only achieve that by treating them as equals.

[BTigers96]

It honestly depends on the level of narcissism. I've witnessed parent's who fit the definition make good parents when the kids are young, but it becomes tricky once the kids become adults.

Adult children typically will resent an extremely narcissist parent. That kind of behavior always strains a relationship.

[DrPepper12]

If they take appropriate steps to recognize reflect and mitigate their narcissism but just by the definition of being a narcissist that's not likely. I don't have any experience directly observing a narcissistic parent but I think it would be difficult especially with adult children

[NathanDavis]

I really doubt they can have any, great... relationship with anybody or themselves

it is not a positive trait at all

[loveslongnails]

Not by definition. Narcissism and good parenting don't have much overlap. There are certainly cases where kids turned out ok, but it's a real struggle.

[Finchie40]

They can , because they have a different connection with their kids than they did with their partner

[Tomisworthless]

all women are narcissists dont believe most are good, or will be good parents.

[MrGSpotHer]

I've seen terrible people be good parents but they still treat everyone else like shit

[Luopio27]

I know exactly what you mean and I confirm it to be true!

[MrGSpotHer]

I find it kind of baffling to be honest 😆

[Agape93]

Can? Sure, but not likely.

[strateguy632]

It won't work

[dudegreat91]

Almost everyone is a narc to some extent

[HelpfulWoman]

nooooooooooooo

[Jamie05rhs]

Highly doubtful.

[noohair]

No!!