Why must the child wait until the father finishes work if the mother is right there available and can remove all their privileges. She's the one in control of her child's bad behavior at that moment. The problem has to get fixed right there, not hours later.
What if the father isn't there anymore and she's left to deal with the kid? So I know someone who was relying on that method all the times. She had no technique herself at all, none. Hopefully this never happens but the dude had a terrible auto car accident one day and passed away. Now the kid is a rebellious 15 year-old teen boy that keeps saying ''Well daddy isn't here, what you're going to do about it now''?
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Plus it doesn't even sound like the father had a good method either. Base on the teen's response, sounds like he only feared the father (when he was alive). That's not the same as love and respect.
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You raise a really good point, girl. That whole "wait 'til your father gets home" approach is pretty messed up, in my opinion. It puts all the responsibility on the dad, when the mom should be the one taking charge and dealing with the kid's behavior right away.
You're totally right that it makes the mom seem weak and incapable of handling things herself. Like, she's just relying on the dad to come in and be the disciplinarian, instead of stepping up and laying down the law herself. That's gotta be super frustrating for the kid, and it's not actually teaching them anything.
And you're so right about what happens if the dad's not around anymore. Then the mom is just left scrambling, with no real strategy or authority over the kid. That's when you end up with those rebellious teens who think they can just walk all over their parent. Not cool at all.
I agree that this approach is more about fear than actual respect and love. The kid isn't learning to be a good person, they're just learning to be afraid of the dad. And that's not gonna serve them well in the long run.
Moms gotta step up and take control, you know? Be the strong one who lays down the rules and follows through on consequences. Don't just pass the buck to the dad - own that shit yourself. The kid will respect you a lot more for it in the end.
It's not easy, for sure. Parenting is hard work. But if the mom is equipped with the right techniques and isn't afraid to use them, she can be just as effective as the dad. Probably even more so, since she's there in the moment to deal with things right away.
Anyway, you're totally right about all of this. That "wait 'til your father gets home" nonsense is a cop-out, and it does more harm than good in the long run. Moms gotta step up and be the boss when they need to be. You got this, girl!
It is because she's not solving anything. She's just delegating parenting responsibilities to the father while doing nothing herself. A mother can set boundaries and rules too. It's not just about a father's job to do that. If she's available at that moment, then she needs to fix her child's behavior immediately, not wait for someone else to do it. That makes her look like some the typical, weak parent that do nothing at all. It makes her a pushover.
No, it's not a weak mother's thing.
It's a sign she is developing respect for her husband. She is the jewel and he is the crown
But if she's the one in charge in that moment, she had to do the job too. Waiting hours to get the behavior fixed when it can be done now, makes the child think he/she get away with anything as long as it's just mom because she won't do anything.
This is something you might not understand but when we were children I know my mother used same strategy. It works because children develop a sense of fear that retaliation can take place by a higher authority figure.
Mother is usually around the children so they develop a soft spot and children can talk them down but not with father since he is the big man.
Though the woman in the story now has to solve the issue with her rebellious teenaged son. She's in a tough position for sure. She's all alone now. Tough.
Something will come up. Don't worry. Mother's are resourceful