How to deal with a toxic mother?

[Anonymous]

Why would my mom has became toxic recently when she wasn’t like that before?

[naartjie]

I moved when I was 19, best decision ever. Cut my dad off, haven’t seen him for 2 years and honestly I feel so much better as a person.
Nothing wrong with leaving and maybe you just leave and create boundaries so you still see her but in small amounts

[Asker]

thanks because I can’t anymore it’s really draining me mentally she accuses me of doing things that I didn’t do!

[Zoommergal]

She likely always was, you've only just recently become aware. Do you have any siblings you can talk to about it?

I wouldn't sever relationship ties with her. She's your mom, and you only get one. You still love her, I'm sure. But you need to put up boundaries, and keep a distance. Don't be alone with her, and don't get overly emotional in any positive or negative way. It's draining to have to walk on eggshells, but it's the only way to maintain a relationship there. Distance will also soften her heart, so move out if you can if you haven't already.

[NicholasRedone]

Young owl - 🦉 😁 - spoken from a wiser older owl unrelated to your drama and I had a wholesome upbringing - family should always be number one. For example, a man should never ever put his buddies or his drinking buddies or even his partner/his broad, before putting his family and his mother, number one. Wholesome love to all 💕 😘

[Ariesman81]

Time to fly!

Besides, at your age you should be looking for advice and guidance from men.

[Asker]

Okay

[MemeSupreme]

if she won't stop then moving out like the others said

seriously she will drain the fuck out of you and make you wanna die. if she's like mine then talking to them won't do anything. it's up to them to improve and it won't happen bc of you sadly

[DishLady]

Dude, depending on her age she’s probably just going through menopause. Don’t trash your mom on a public site. It’s super sad.

[Asker]

she 46. and how much time does the menopause lasts, and is it really the cause of her change of behavior?

[DishLady]

Depends on the woman. Some it’s just a year, others it drags out.

46 is around when “perimenopause” hits. I don’t want to get all gross on g@g, but look it up on WebMD and you’ll see common symptoms for that and menopause.

A better diet and constant exercise help stave off the worst of it, but the bitchy stick strikes quite a few times during that part of a gal’s life. She possibly doesn’t even realize it’s happening. She probably stressed her body is changing (again) and feeling anxious about her health and future.

[Asker]

Ok thanks because this is just weird that she turns out like that all of sudden If she was really a toxic/bully mom she would have always be like that not all of sudden..

[DishLady]

Poor guy. Ok, well you have my sympathy, but so does she.

If she’s not very physically active suggest a walking group or something physical. It helps a lot.

[Asker]

Haha it’s ok but yup she very physically active she works every day and walk a lot to get there

[Asker]

Besides the menopause, what else do u think could have happens?

[DishLady]

Unless there’s something else traumatic going on in her life that’s the most typical thing that could be happening to a lady that age. It’s natural, but it’s also temporary.

[Asker]

Okok

[Katebfun]

Cut her out of yiur life forever! I know from 1st hand experience. They just get worse as they age.

[Asker]

Someone told me that’s menopause:.

[dustybiker2]

We all grow up sometime.

[Asker]

What do u mean by that?

[dustybiker2]

She either has a lot going on in her life which you are overlooking her stress load, and or you are perhaps adding to that stress load. If she is taking it out on you all things do point to the latter.

Help her out.
Ask how you can make her life less stressful.

[Asker]

Okok so the stress is basically why she became toxic w?

[dustybiker2]

I can only guess

[Nikki1989]

Move out!

[Crazzyyworld]

She got gigolo

[Asker]

What do u mean by that?

[Crazzyyworld]

Gigolos can be toxic that make girls go wild thinking that she is wanted

[Crazzyyworld]

They turn girls into a douchebag

[Dream001]

Just leave the house

[itsannalee]

Move out

[ienjoylookingatgreen]

move out

[blackeagle007]

Don’t then