Am I obligated to take care of a family friend?

[Anonymous]

A couple of months ago a friend of my moms moved in with me. She's been friends with my mom since before I was born and I've always comsidered her an aunt. She was living in a trailer and was very sick, so I asked her if she wanted to move in with me. My mom was there, and my aunt broke down, and said she can't take care of herself anymore. I didn't respond. We weren't really getting along for a couple of weeks, but we had a long talk, and we are getting along fine now. We'll, she has some trouble walking, and she's fallen 4 times since we've moved in. Luckily she didn't seriously hurt herself, but she fell tonight, and hurt her neck. She's afraid she broke it. She can move it normally but it hurts. I'm afraid she's gonna fall and break something, and then I'm gonna have to be a full on caretaker. Like helping take a shower, help her get dressed, help her go to the bathroom, etc. It scares the shit out of me. I knew before she moved in that she had trouble walking, so I feel i might be morally obligated to care for her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, this is a really tough situation you've found yourself in. It sounds like you were just trying to do a good thing by offering your aunt a place to stay when she was in a bad spot, but now you're worried that you might be in over your head with having to be a full-time caretaker. That's a big responsibility, and I can understand why the idea of that would be scary.

The thing is, you didn't explicitly agree to be her full-time caretaker when you invited her to move in. You were trying to help out a family friend, but you didn't necessarily sign up for everything that might come with that. You've already gone above and beyond by letting her stay with you, and it's understandable if you don't feel equipped to handle the level of care she might need going forward.

At the end of the day, you have to look out for your own well-being too. You're not obligated to sacrifice your own health and happiness to be her caretaker, especially if that's not something you're prepared for. It's okay to set some boundaries and limitations on the kind of support you can realistically provide.

Maybe you could have an honest conversation with her about your concerns, and see if there are other options or resources you could help her look into, like in-home care or assisted living. You could even suggest that she stay with you for a trial period to see how it goes before committing to anything long-term.

The most important thing is that you don't just take on this responsibility because you feel guilty or obligated. You have to do what's best for you too, man. Don't be afraid to ask for help or set some clear expectations. Your own mental and physical health has to come first.

Does that make sense? Let me know if you have any other questions - I'm here to help however I can.

[Anonymous]

Better beg the commercial cleaning company to hire you back

[princeofromance]

No, but you should out of kindness and respect.