Would you ask this friend to be a bridesmaid?

[Anonymous]

So I’m in a little bit of a situation here. I don’t know who to ask to be a bridesmaid. Fiancé only has 4 friends that he wants on his side and I’m in a male dominated career so don’t have very many. I have started talking with this one friend that I’ve known for a little over a year and feel like we would be friends for a long time! We don’t talk often but again I don't know who to ask! I already gotten stuff for her but not too sure if I should go with her or not. What do you think?

[HollyK21]

I guess it really depends how you feel about it deep down. I’m in the same boat, planning our wedding with me not having any friends (at least not that I want in my bridal party) and my fiancé having a few he’s known since high school and wants them in it. We’ve talked about compromises, such as:


- splitting up his groomsmen party and putting half on my side (since they’re there to support us both technically).
- giving them chairs to sit once they walk in so maybe it’s be less noticeable that I had no one lol
- me recruiting women I’m not really cool or close with just for the sake of having people on my side.


We have discussed other routes as well, but ultimately are leaning towards no bridal parties — just us. We are still thinking of ways to include him before settling on this choice but at the end of the day he doesn’t really “need” them in it. It’s sort of symbolic too, like as of now we are each others best friends, who we speak with the most, see the most. He doesn’t go out with these friends, or see them much anymore. Text or phone calls mainly. So having our good but distant friends in the crowd with family we love (because it’ll be a more intimate wedding) seems more than fair.


In your position I don't know how important it is to your fiancé that his friends be in it or how much you even care about bridesmaids. If it’s so important that you must recruit this woman as the sole member of your party while your fiancé has his besties, then go for it. But this is your day too and relationships are about compromise. Maybe this is worth compromising.