Do you allow pathological liars in your life if they're friends/family?

[DishLady]

I took a hard line in cutting off all the pathological liars in my life, including a few family members who used to be in my close circle. (I don't know how it is for those of you in your 50s and up, but tbh I just want a nice peaceful, orderly life and have less tolerance for chaos the older I get.)

[HawkPerception]

Sad to say, but my best friend has went through his entire life lying about half of everything about his life. He started off in high school lying about test results and what he was able to do physically. He lied about finishing university. Lied about the jobs he's had, the girls he's been with... so much. He's lied about gifts he's gotten me and other friends and he expected others would just forget he mentioned anything. He's lied about money that he needed (which I ended up giving him), and then he ended up using it for something other than what he told me he needed it for.

The lies have gotten less over time and he's opened up to me about it quite a bit, but I know what to look for as well. He still does it and thinks I don't know. It's about petty stuff too.

The reason I still call him my best friend is because he's been there. Longest running friend I have and the guy has my back at the end of the day. Every time I chill with the guy, it's always the pick-me-up I need. He has a way of uplifting you in your dark moments, not just me but everyone around him.

Even pathological liars can have their good points as long as you know they're one and know how to deal with them/what to look for. And hey... the guy has a wife and kid and I don't. He must be doing something right 😂

[DishLady]

True and that’s the hitch I’ve hit now. I want to be more forgiving about it again — I always have been — but my tolerance for it after being around it most of my life has evaporated.

[HawkPerception]

Yeah the sad thing is I think that he's attracted to honest people like a moth to a flame. Because he's so used to lying in his life and can tell when others are lying even more easily than I can (because he's a master at it), that it's refreshing to have someone that never lies to him around him.

I'm obviously more attracted to honesty than lies as well, but for people like him, it's needed to balance their life out.

[DishLady]

I have a feeling you’ll find out he’s envious of how ok you can be with being honest. (Maybe that isn’t the word for it, but somewhere they clearly crave it but they’re trapped in their web of lies, you know?)

[HawkPerception]

Oh he is. As I've mentioned, after manh years of friendship, he's opened up to me more than a few times in our relationship and he's told me exactly that. He sometimes says it in a subtle way, but he's also told me directly. And he hates the fact that he's bullshitted his way through his whole life. But part of that is why he's so damn good at sales and it's made him who he is. I'm also jealous of his communication ability and his ability to come up with a witty response on the spot. He's definitely better than me there by a long shot.

[DishLady]

Hmm… a funny sort of Ying and yang.

[HawkPerception]

Exactly that.

[Spencer10]

Well if they are family I may have to... but toxic people like this I would still keep at arms length probably. I would never want to be collateral damage to their lies.

[slatyb]

Sure, I just don't believe them.

[slatyb]

If you know someone is a habitual liar, just watch the show. They can't harm you if you refuse to take action based on their statements.

[DishLady]

Hmm. Sometimes, but if they convince others it’s a problem.

[worldscolide]

I've known a couple. One being my mother.

[DishLady]

Hmm. Tough one.

[worldscolide]

It's why I haven't spoken to her since I was 16

[ryanrhino]

I did, but they're out now.

[exitseven]

Not if I can avoid it

[Grond21]

No, I don't. I did the same thing you did

[Asgard356]

Nope