Why do people still want to have kids?

[Anonymous]

As a home care nurse, I work with families taking care of disabled kids. I have CONFIRMED that the more children you have, the less happy you will be. All the talk you hear on social media about how parents are less happy is entirely true. Its not fake at all.

Children are a luxury. If you really want a child, just have 1. Because I have seen over and over again, being financially strapped for the rest of your life trying to raise kids is NOT FUN. For the singles who dont believe me, I dare you try it.

Not only will kids financially stress you out, they will add enormous trouble to your life. Especially if your kid has a behavioral disorder such as adhd / comduct disorder or has trouble doing well in school. Working an 8 hr shift, only to run home and spend another 7 to 8 hrs doing housework, childcare, teaching. On weekends, you have no time to yourself, having to escort your kids to doctor appointments, hair cuts, shopping, disciplining your kids, tutoring cuz your kid is failing in school.

Unless you have a shit ton of money, raising more than 1 kid will not be a pleasant experience

Updates

11 mo

Parents with a lot of kids are usually overworked, tired and dont take care of themselves. They look soulless. I am so serious. Unless you can afford nanny services, instacart to deliver you your groceries, you won't be happy

[capriVib]

Bro, the question u asked is similar to asking why people get married. First, that question needs to be examined. I read your explanations, and u’ve seen the truth u’ve made correct observations
(🔴-💊)👍. U can look at things rationally and what u said makes sense. If we look at it this way, it seems logical for people not to get married bc a happy marriage is impossible. In marriage, u have to think more about the child that is born than yourself and take responsibility. This means making yourself unimportant and worthless for the rest of your life. But this perspective doesn’t match the definition of love. Most people, especially women, when they fall in love, the rational part becomes inactive. Love is a trap set by nature for humans. People instinctively desire it and having children has nothing to do with money. Especially in countries that are not well-educated and have low economic prosperity, people have a lot of children u can see nine kids in one household.


{https://en. m. wikipedia. org/wiki/Mariam_Nabatanzi?}


In short instinct outweighs reason, people don’t act rationally when doing this.

[DCVsMarvel2]

girls think it's their duty to. that they're not women if they don't

men feel they need to spread their seed, and just keep their genetics going

I don't want kids, but, if i did, for me, it's because im an only child, male

[Asker]

@dcvsmarvel2

Never heard of birth control or condoms?

You want to spread your seed and spend the rest of your life being stressed and miserable or

not spreading your seed and spend the rest of your life taking care of yourself and your own well being?

[DCVsMarvel2]

Yeah and they say it costs a fortune even to just have the kid, itself

[Asker]

I used to think people on social media complaining about parenting was just an overexaggeration

I just found out its not. After seeing multiple families I've worked with.

[DCVsMarvel2]

No, it really is a pain. I'm not one myself, but trust me, as a kid, I know it's a pain to my parents. But, they dont regret me

[Asker]

@dcvsmarvel2

Haha. Dont be naive. No parent ever regrets having their children. But at the end of your life, you will look back on a life of pain and suffering. Just to raise your kids... it WILL take a toll on your health. It will take a toll on your lifespan. It will affect on how comfortably you can retire.

[DCVsMarvel2]

Sometimes you have to go through pain to get what you want

[Nikki1989]

They see parenthood as a unique journey of personal growth. It is an opportunity to learn about unconditional love, to become more patient, and to put someone else's needs before their own.

However, the experience of raising a child can be incredibly challenging, and sadly, some people are not up to it.

[Asker]

Challenging is an understatement.

You LOSE YOUR SOUL trying to parent.

As someone who has seen parents neglect themselves, age quickly, all the stress, worry, lack of sleep, financial pressures. You will have no time to yourself for YEARS.

Unless you come from a household where you both are very very financially well off and the wife gets to stay home... you won't be happy having multiple children.

If you must, just have 1. You might still be able to retain SOME of your personal life after having kids. The struggle won't be nearly as bad.

By the way, once you have a 1 kid, your wealth and good lifestyle will be knocked down at least 2 notches

[Mariogirl09]

I totally agree. Im 1 and done
My child screwed up my mental health during pregnancy and after. Im not blaming him at all i just dont want to go through THAT AGAIN!

[leahzrc]

I agree with you. They think that life is about having children but not about loving children. They have children selfishly, not out of love. This can cause major problems.

[Asker]

I just came out of working with a couple of 12 kids, stuffed into a 2 bedroom apartment. They have 12 kids stuffed inside one bedroom. The mother is a stay home mother. The family is having trouble paying his rent and is about to get evicted. The father was the only one working and he can't afford to pay the rent and also feed , clothe, shop for 12 kids. The US marshals will show up at any time to evict them. Plus, they have a disabled daughter who is 2 kids old who need 24/7 nursing care.

The wife is also pregnant with their 13th child.
The couple is so frustrated.

Its not just this couple with 12 kids that are super frustrated... I have seen parents with 2 kids, where 1 of the children have conduct disorder, which is already killing them both mentally and physically.

[leahzrc]

that is insanity

[Anonymous]

Thats your decision , not everyone thinks like that

[Asker]

Vast majority of parents think this way.

They just don't tell you.

I tell you this as a first hand experience, working with families with disabled children for the past 3 years. Watching all the suffering. Watching parents neglect themselves, lose their social lives, age quickly, all the stress.

No parent will ever regret having kids... but you will LOSE YOUR SOUL trying to raise those kids.

[Asker]

If you must, just have 1. You might still be able to retain SOME of your personal life after having kids. The struggle won't be nearly as bad.

By the way, once you have a 1 kid, your wealth and good lifestyle will be knocked down at least 2 notches

[Opinion Owner]

I feel bad for the kids growing up with parents like that

[Asker]

@opinionowner

I grew up 20+ years under poverty.

Children undergo psychological damage and trauma growing up "not having enough of anything". Growing up in awful living conditions.

[Opinion Owner]

Not everyone grows up like that tho , I agree you should have kids if you can afford to have them

[Asker]

@opinionowner

Nowadays, an increasing number of children are being brought up this way. Due to rise in cost of living. and it will only continue to rise as time moves on

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it’s not the 50’s where you could buy a house for 11,000

[jahaims]

Projecting

[Asker]

You sound bitter