What Experience Made You See People Differently?

Question

One of the biggest life lessons that changed the way I see people happened to me back in high school 😔

I chose not to be friends with a group of loud, dramatic girls because that's just not who I am. I like peace, and I've never enjoyed gossip, bullying, or putting other people down. Instead of simply accepting that, they started calling me a "witch" and convinced other girls to avoid me too... It hurt at the time, especially because I hadn't done anything to them 😔😔

Looking back, I realized that not everyone dislikes you because you've done something wrong. Sometimes people get upset simply because you don't fit into what they expect or refuse to join in with behavior that doesn't feel right to you... That experience taught me to stop taking everyone's opinion personally and to value genuine people over popular ones!!

What's one life lesson that completely changed the way you see people?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

There are two things that come to mind

First one was back in high school to.. there was a kid that rode my bus with me who was just different than everybody else he was kind of slow kind of a goofball
Didn't really have too many friends except for people that were just like him

One day I was walking down the hallway and there was some kind of chaos going on and as I walked by I could see somebody pushing somebody up against the wall and kind of slapping their face and as I walked by I realized it was JT the kids rode my bus and as I walked by I just kind of left it alone and I said wait a minute if I love that to happen that's just like me doing it so I turn back around pulled the guy off of them told them because there was more than one told them to leave him alone don't ever touch him again

Two days later Out in the middle of the Courtyard We had a thing called the senior benches if you weren't a senior you couldn't sit on them well JT sat on them and there was two seniors trying to put him in a garbage can

And I went and I stopped it and so they were going to put me in the garbage can they thought it didn't work out that way

And the next thing I know there's about 12 seniors a few of my friends saw what was going on and came to my rescue and the next thing I know the senior class wanted to meet the next day Saturday at school and we were all going to fight

Well of course my friends are saying yes I was saying yes and the next thing I know Saturday comes we all show up at the school except for my friends brought their friends that brought their big brothers and there was over a hundred of us and maybe 25 of them well

The seniors back down They tried to become my friend ask me why I was sticking up for the guy and I said because he's my neighbor and he can't stick up for himself

So I learned when you believe in something you have to back it

Monday came around I was called into the office same with a couple of seniors and from that moment on there was no more senior benches when they found out what was going on

The second thing is
All right I used to race dirt bikes in the desert and when you're going 60 70 80 90 miles per hour on terrain that you don't know what's in front of you you have to be looking 500 yards ahead at all times because it comes up fast and you have to be willing to take it on and you have to commit one way or the other and it's usually one way and that's with the throttle more power and fly and you can't be afraid you have to go you have to make it through there and keep going

So no matter what in life look ahead at all times commit and be willing to take it on

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Same life lesson basically. Loud obnoxious people are basically immature and insecure. I avoid them like the plague. Luckily they are easy to spot and easy to deal with.

However one trait typical of those personalities is that silence makes them really really uncomfortable. So when they run into me ignoring them, they just can't resist filling the silence. That usually doesn't end well for them. They never seem to be able to process that the quiet guy is way more confident than they can perceive. Until it's too late. They find out fast why I'm choosing to not interact with adult children most of the time.

Good learning event. It's usually not because you've done anything wrong. Sometimes the silence rattles them. Sometimes it's their own insecurity and immaturity. best if you can just make them go away.

shoeboxcerealcard · Answer

@veronika_p There are zero genuine or good people. Human beings all do evil things and good things. Those girls just had different programming than you. Not everyone who does bad things is intentionally trying to do it or likes doing it. Sometimes they just can't control themselves. You see that a lot in dating. Humans think they have free will but they don't. People don't wake up and sabotage their lives on purpose. Fat people don't fail their diets on purpose. They don't have control. Society has convinced us it's good vs evil. Not true. Everyone is evil. Everyone is good. Those girls were probably good to each other even though they were mean to you. There is no unconditional love. You like that boy because of reasons. And if those reasons go away you won't like him anymore. You love that child because they are your child or your family member or you've gotten to know them and like their personality, interest, etc.  You're just like those girls who were mean to you. Evil. Good. All. humans. Intentions don't matter. Behavior does. Humans are evil and good. They are neutral. Evil and good doesn't exist. Morality is made up by humans. It's not real... What drives morality? Natural laws. The way the human body works in relation. If they were mean and it felt good to you then it wouldn't be evil anymore.  Humans being will love you one moment and be done with you the next. Human beings wear makeup to manipulate themselves and others. They put on a mask every-time they walk out into the world. But look at our world. It's messed up... Why? Because human beings are evil... All of them. All of us. Those same girls today are probably protesting for human rights and equality... Probably treating their boyfriends nicely etc. But they are evil. Just like you. Just like me. Just like everyone. And it's okay because... You cannot even control it. It's not your fault. Humans are just messed up from the start. Forgive those girls... They can't control it. That was just the programming conditioned into them not accident.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Realizing that the people who you have to watch out for the most are the pessimists. If someone says something like there are no good people, it's not just moral to manipulate and play them, it's necessary for survival.

And you don't have to play all that dirty like them either.

Life is a game and a lot of people are angry about it. They learn to be immoral to not because of survival but because they think they deserve to be because they're actually more moral.

It becomes clear the more time you spend with different niche groups. Because they all have their own approaches to this problem.

That's why I always preferred business relationships or one's where people depend on me. Because in business, things usually aren't personal. Which creates a sort of moral code that is comparatively more fair/predictable.

And when people rely on you all you have to do is right by them and there's really only so much damage they can do to you one day if you're alert and have a good reputation.

drummerdude25 · Answer

I had a similar realization. People will put you in a box and hold you to a certain expectation… “you will like what I like, you will do the things I want you to do, etc.” but when you challenge the idea of how they see and perceive you, and/or if you’re almost kind of “showing them up” in a way (even when you’re not intending to at all), yes they can become nasty… sometimes in a passive aggressive way, sometimes just as outright, jealous haters. It really starts to become apparent.

And yes, it can be very disappointing and tough to deal with. You never meant any harm. In a lot of ways, you probably saw them in a better light than they (apparently) seem to see themselves. Or so they seem to be making evident…

That’s why I’m careful now about how I present myself, or who I share accomplishments with IRL. And I largely stay off of social media now. I think it’s important to understand the kind of people that are around you too, it definitely plays into it, even or especially the political psychology… I’ve lived enough life to know that people in different areas, towns, regions of a country even, have drastically different temperaments and mentalities.

If you’re in a place where you’re a bit more “high up on life” but everyone around you is low-down and struggling… or if they just aren’t clicking with you like they used to… yeah, it’s best to keep your distance, and keep things to yourself as much as you can. That’s why I have very few friends and keep a tight circle.

molonski2 · Answer

It's so very different in USA

You need to travel to Europe and Asia to see vastly different scenarios that are far more positive.

For me in those 15/ 16 / 17 years , it was all a little strange , most of my contacts / associates were 2-3 years older ( massive then ) , all around sport , this kinda gave me great power , but also I was not that tall and " cutesy " blonde hair , so I had this fan club of girls , but that was embarrassing bcoz they were all too young , so my older friends would joke about me ( all in front of me ) ..

Now this became a lot better by time I got to 19 .

hahahaha , all kinda amusing to think back.

I guess it made me see " influence" and admiration, obsession is not always great , I got letters ( yep a thing then ) and 20 odd unsolicited ( land line ) phone calls at all hours.

My mother was not happy !

Anonymous · Answer

I had a woman i knew for a decade break my heart. I think before i trusted most people had good motives. Meeting her and going through that may have been terrible. But it taught me that some can play a role and wear a mask for that long if it serves their interest. Most people are NOT what they appear to be in life. That doesn't necessarily make them evil either. But NEVER take what anyone says at face value. I hated going through that but i'm thankful for it. Because i'll never trust wholeheartedly again.👍💯

Nikki1989 · Answer

Being on here has probably been the biggest eye-opener. I knew there were some screwed-up people in the world, but I never realized how common they were until I joined this shitshow. Thankfully the real world is vastly different from GAG.

sage2021 · Answer

When I had all of my belongings stolen from me by my caregiver. I stopped trusting people after that.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I read Alfred Romer's Vertebrate Paleontology some of it anyway. I wanted to do a paper on whales or their land dwelling ancestors really. It showed me that evolution takes time and how hard it is to survive. I saw people a little differently after that.

Pterodon · Answer

When I was homeless. I met some of the nicest and kind people that really helped me out and they were all colors and body shapes. It taught me to stop judging books by cover. Angels exist among us and they could be literally anyone from a high powered conservative CEO to a bum living under a bridge.

Anonymous · Answer

Let me guess they were short ugly bitches. And u were the Barbie

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I dont want to say what experience but let just say I've realized everybody can't be trusted

kinks1951 · Answer

Peer pressure can be strong, it is best to travel your own path

MasterKS · Answer

Always quickly understand wrong people, so I am safe always.

Anonymous · Answer

I was accused of being racist at work by a colleague. Was suspended and about to lose my job. The accusations were proven false.  I wasn't racist before but now i see black people differently.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Cannot think of anything. I have always been a "I'll be nice till someone individually gives me a reason to be otherwise" person. I do not see all people differently because of the act (s) of one person or a small group.

Espresso86 · Answer

Not everyone says what they mean. I have an aunt with my cousin, and we were supposed to go to the beach. Sometimes I show up at my aunt's house half an hour early, only to be told they left two hours ago.

Anonymous · Answer

Might be cliche but travel. Going to some Southern/Eastern European countries over the past few years showed me a different way of life that I knew about in the abstract but didn't understand until I saw it in person. I'm so used to people being high octane and having a non-stop attitude so it was a bit refreshing to see people not like that.

stevethecoolguy · Answer

How almost everyone has something and they've done during life and how no one truly stays perfect for long.

Anonymous · Answer

Dating. Women are super difficult to deal with and are delusional today. They have unrealistic expectations.

tushar8899 · Answer

"What's wrong with this person?" to "What might this person be going through?"
Judging actions quickly to being curious about context.
Assuming intent to recognizing that stress, grief, fear, or trauma often shape behavior.

Lottydotty · Answer

people do and will not give a single shit about you. there's a special breed that can keep their heart out like that tho

SmartAss06 · Answer

I totally resonate with you and I believe having a small group of friends is extremely important

Alexson_stormzy · Answer

Incredible stripes change

Iron_Man · Answer

Gold Diggers male friend

DirtyOldMan777 · Answer

become a Cop, EMT or Fire Fighter. you'll see.

avatarX · Answer

managing staff. See the best and worst!

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