Why do most of my guy friends end up liking me?

[Anonymous]

So far since 8th grade, all my guy friends end up liking me. Or they became my friends cause they liked me and wanted to get close to me. It's either the guy likes me or they don't talk to me at all. In high school sometimes I hung out with a group of guys that I consider my friends, but later on I found out that I wasn't exactly one of the boys and one of them liked me and some of them wanted to hook up with me. I've also lost a best friend who is a guy because he liked me and I didn't feel the same. Also most of my past relationships started off as the guy and I being good friends.

I'm now in uni and a couple of months ago I travelled by myself and met some people in the hostels I stayed in. I just talk normally with the guys with no intention of having a fling but they tried to hit on me eventually. I had other people telling me that 'that/this certain guy likes you' as well. I went bar hopping and for some reason the guys stick around me more and I ended up hanging out with the guys all night (with, again, some of them hitting on me) instead of the girls.

Does anyone else experience this? Why can't I be one of the boys?

[MrOracle]

A couple of reasons.

- Guys generally aren't interested in being "just friends" with girls.* Girls are a lot of work and hassle, and generally, if a guy isn't attracted to a girl, then he isn't likely to be willing to put up with the work and hassles of maintaining a friendship with a girl. Guys are much easier for guys to be friends with.

- When a guy finds a girl attractive, he wants to have sex with her (that's the definition of "attractive" when you boil it down). BUT... lots of guys lack the confidence to approach her directly, so they try the "friends route", meaning they try to be her friend, hoping that, over time, she'll recognize that her "friend" is a good guy, and eventually, she'll reward him with sex and/or a relationship. In practice, this only happens rarely, but for a lot of guys, they think it's their best/only shot at the girl. Many guys will wait for months or even years, biding his time, even enduring her having relationships with other guys, hoping to get his "shot" to be with her.

- Girls who are very attractive naturally have a lot more interest from guys, both from the confident guys who have the guts to approach her directly and ask her out, and from the guys who don't, and instead try the "friends route".

As a girl, you need to realize that you don't really have "guy friends", you have "guys who are hanging around you, being friendly, hoping for sex (and sometimes a relationship)" from you.**

* There are exceptions for the "just one of the guys" type of girl, who grew up around guys, and doesn't give guys a hassle about being guys. These girls like guy activities, don't get offended by crude humor, language, or actions, and are relaxed around guys and make guys relaxed around them.

** Exceptions to this rule include guys who are already in a happy, healthy relationship, and the rare guy who is emotionally mature and very secure about himself, who just doesn't see you as his "type."

[kheserthorpe]

It sounds like you may have a vagina. It can cause this sort of situation.

You see exactly what's happening, you just don't seem to recognize this is normal.

Guys don't go out of their way to hang around with girls they don't find attractive. If you become friends, you also get along, so of course they now want to be with you.

If you find you have mainly guy friends, its probably because guys treat you better then girls. The guys are trying to impress you and win your approval. Girls aren't (and if you're attractive enough may be jealous of you).

You can only be one of the guys with guys who aren't interested in you. I.e. gay men, or guys who are hooking up with girls who are hotter than you. Note that you may have to initiate the friendship because they don't have any particular need to circle around you, and you likely need to BE more of a friend then the average girl actually is in her "platonic" friendships.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Because guys don't go out of their way to hang out with girls they don't want to date or have sex with

You can't be one of the guys because you are a girl

[Zerokoool]

you speak the truth lady, I do wish I could build a real friendship with a woman without my second brain interfering in some way shape or form but I've accepted my biology.

[Anonymous]

well becuase you are sitll a good person to be with os they are obviously going to get feelings for you

[jamesma87]

A lot of guys like that, I call "orbiters". They get close to you as a "friend" but really they are just waiting to figure out how they can get you to date them.

The good news is, that means you are really attractive as you probably already know. It's tough for you to be one of the boys because you are too likeable, most likely in both looks and personality.

[Anonymous]

Well, I have no idea what you look like but your probably super attractive. Males respond through visual stimulation. Now speaking for myself, I have female friends that I think are attractive however I'm realistic. I value friendship with them totally. I won't put that at risk for a date. Now to meet someone to date I rather try to get to know a girl I never met before.

But hey, that's me

[rocksongwriter]

"Why do most of my guy friends end up liking me?"

It's because you are gorgeous. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

It happens to most if not all girls.

"Why can't I be one of the boys?" Because you're a girl.

[Anonymous]

im trying/did try to get a girl who was exactly like you. she only dated her best friends

[Anonymous]

because most of the time, guys who you befriend, will probably like you. Tht's how it is typically.

[Anonymous]

It seems that you show too much interest in them.