Questions: Family & Friends

I grew up poor lol. Like getting our electric/hot water shut off, not being able to afford food, type of poor 🙃

my mom has always been selfless though. Even though she didn’t have much, she wouldn’t hesitate to give me her last $20 so I could go out with friends.

I want to provide my daughter the childhood I didn’t have. I don’t need to be filthy rich or anything but I at least want to be one of those parents who surprise their kid with a car on their 16th birthday. Yanno? 😭

I’ve seen parents have this stupid ass mentality where they say “well I struggled as a kid so my kid should know what it’s like to struggle too” why would you wish that on your kid? 😭 I don’t want her to be a spoiled brat but I want her to be comfortable. She shouldn’t know what it’s like to get your hot water shut off and have to get a job at 16 to provide for the house, like I did 🥴

I'm asking because I'm not a father but my sister was saying how she'd much rather have done what my dad did than even raise one child. I completely disagree. I'm not a parent but I feel like even 60 hours at something I hate on behalf of my family is harder than raising 2 children I love. I do recognize that raising kids is like a job without pay, but you have food and shelter and more because your spouse loves you. Is that security not enough? Do you feel like you need luxury because of all that you do at home? After work, it's not like one person is doing everything although there is one primary homemaker.

Please share if you have experience. I'm not saying either is easy. I'm not saying either should be disrespected. I'm just saying that it feels like to me that people should be happy to be spending time with their children and should respect that someone else is willing to do something he/she hates to feed the family.

I really am open to hearing opinions though. Maybe I'm missing something. I love my sister too by the way but I just feel like she's disrespecting my dad by saying this. At one point, he actually worked without a day off for over a year, 85 hours/week, and they actually had 6 kids together. by the way I absolutely love my mom. She's my hero and she kept our family together, and my dad actually is far from the coolest person in the world but I still recognize what he did for our family.

Just in case you're wondering why I didn't use the numbers 85 hours and 6 kids, it's because those numbers are difficult for people to comprehend. Also, I'm thinking about my future, and I don't plan to have 6 kids or work 85 hours/week

What do you usually do? kiss? hug? just say 'see ya!'

You’re depriving your child of the best possible start in life because you personally want a kid and are going to cheat them out of having a mother and a father ultimately stunting their development