Asking a girl for her number, but she took yours instead...girls' advice?

[themastaplan]

OK so there's this girl that works at this bar part time that I think is drop dead gorgeous. she has incredible eyes which first stood out to me, she's got an awesome body, pretty face...anyways I've talked to her a few times...last time I asked her if she'd let me take her out sometime, she said maybe, so I asked for her number and she said well why don't you give me yours...

is this a bad thing? I mean I'm not gonna sweat it and wait on her to contact me and be crazy obsessive but I'd love to get to know her more, I know I'll probably see her again at the bar, but I mean do girls contact you if they get your number? is it bad that she didn't give me her number and took mine? I've really only gotten numbers from girls, I've never really given mine out - I know I seem like a rookie at this thing, but I'm just not sure what to think since I've never just given mine out, only exchanged really...girls what does that mean?

what could be a way to get her to come out with me without seeming desperate or obsessive...i just think she's really beautiful and id love to take her out somewhere fun

Updates

+1 y

just an update, when I talked to her she said she was single, this wasn't the first time I had talked with her, I do a pretty good job at keeping the convo going, I never really thought of casual talk, seems like it could work..maybe I should stop...

Updates

+1 y

...stop analyzing the sitaution and just be myself...i mean its worked every other time. thanks everyone for the advice, I guess time will tell ... and hey, if not there are plenty more out there :)

[Ameliad]

When a girl suggests getting a guys number instead of giving him her number it can typically mean a few things. In your case, here are the ones that came to my mind (in no real order):

1. She's already seeing someone

2. She's not interested but doesn't want to offend you

3. She wants things to be on her terms (maybe because she doesn't know you well enough, likes the control, really values her privacy etc)

4. She doesn't like giving out her number at work (I hate giving my number out when I'm at work, especially if it's a retail or hospitality job, but I have taken guys numbers AND called them when I was interested)

Whatever the reason, the ball's in her court now. Be happy that you asked her (a lot of my guy friends still can't even do that well).

As for trying to get her to go out with you without seeming desperate or obsessive, talk to her more, ask her considerate questions (how've you been, what's been happening, how is work going, what do you do when you're not working etc). People will also be more likely to open up if you share a bit of information about yourself, and it makes it less like an interrogation that way. BUT I wouldn't ask her why she hasn't called, or even mention it to her. Make it seem like you are genuinely interested in *her*, not going out with her (if that makes sense).

Also, don't ignore your friends every time you go in there. Talk to her, be paying attention to her when you two are chatting, but go back to your friends after a while.

Hope that helps! :)

[themastaplan]

I like the last comment, I tend to do a good job at that and when I didi did get some good eye contact from her adn smiles...i guess time will tell :)

[Anonymous]

She probably is asked for her number a lot considering she works at a bar.. So it's probably just something she does so she doesn't have to give out her number to a lot of random drunks. I wouldn't get your hopes up for a call because she probably doesn't think any more of you than she does the normal guys who get drunk and hit on girls. Maybe next time you see her try something that might stick in her memory a little better. Don't hit on her, just talk to her. Make her laugh. And then leave it at that. You'll be surprised she'll think more of that and leave her wanting more. Good luck! :)

[Anonymous]

ok I know a lot of girls will say "give me your number" when a guy asks them so they don't have to call him. but there is a small possibility she just isn't comfortable giving out her number to a guy she doesn't know well. the only thing you can do is wait and see if she calls you. if she doesn't call you then there is nothing you can do. sorry

[themastaplan]

Hmm other people have told me that as well...like hse took my number incase I was some creep lol I guess getting to know her better is my best option

[Phoenix52]

Yeah rookie, by the sound of it you f*cked up.

Listen to what I have to tell you. Despite the fact that she's gorgeous and a great eye color, BEAUTY IS COMMON. Don't you see other gorgeous girls out there in public everyday? I sure as heck do.

"last time I asked her if she'd let me take her out sometime" --> YOU BLEW IT. You asked her for permission to come out with you. If you want this girl bad enough, which apparently you do, you make her an offer and don't care what the outcome is, whether she agrees or not. Wanna know how to get her to say yes? Simple. Be fun, be different, have a sense of humor, be confident and not give a sh*t about anything, and passively communicate that you're the rare deal which needs to be caught. And this is her only chance at catching you.

In other words, put yourself on the pedestal and sell yourself on the dating market. Looks and beauty are just the outside of her, but what should matter to you more is her personality. I've dated beautiful women who ended up being too shy for me, crazy, too witty, or they ended up flaking on me. Their loss.

Stop acting like a love-sick puppy. Stop being desperate and obsessive, which you apparently are since you asked this question. And quite frankly, you're asking for just girl's advice? Shameful and biased to one sex.

She most likely won't call you because you're functioning on the same wave as all the other guys who've hit on her. You need to be the different guy who isn't kissing her ass and putting her on the pedestal.

[themastaplan]

I feel on you being different, but sh*t she just had me at the first sight, I wasn't creepy or weid, but I completely agree with standing out - good point

[Don_Garb]

OK let me get this straight. She's a drop dead gorgeous girl with incredible eyes, an awesome body and a pretty face. And she works at a bar. So that means she only gets hit on about 5 times an hour. She probably thinks she could have any man she wants in about 5 minutes and any man in the world in about 5 seconds. And what a silly girl! She's missing her chance to be with YOU!

Let's say you've saved up a couple grand to buy a car. What are you in the market for? A Lamborgini? Ferrari? Bugatti? Koenigsegg? Have you any concept of "what can I afford?" Thousands of horny guys look at that girl and want her. The guys who get her are the ones that she wants.

Men are rated on a scale of 0 to 10. Women are rated on a scale of 1 to 11.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how she said it. That's what people do if they're not interested. But tryst me. If you get a girls number then you think should I call her? should I text her? should I wait a few days? two days? blablabla. This is easier. She does the stressing and if she calls, you KNOW she's interested.

[themastaplan]

Hmm I like that

[jtcog]

Honestly I think there are a few options here:

1: She doesn't/didn't want to give her number out, nothing against you just some women don't like doing it (ecspecially if they are as gorgeous as you mentioned, they get hit on and asked that too often)

2: She has someone and can't let you call her

3: She isn't going to call you and asked for yours so she wouldn't be rude or mean.

4: She will call you :) <----hope this is the one!

[Anonymous]

if she asked for your number it might just be that she isn't comfotable giving hers out.

if she calls you know she's intrested and if she doesn't she's not.

not all girls will contact you if you give them your number. its not a bad thing that she took yours it just means the ball is in her court lol.

[funnyjoke]

Female bartenders are total head f*ckers. They flirt like crazy, but are rarely single. I'm pretty sure they just act that way to get better tips.

[Light_Yagami]

Lol of course they do, they use the stripper philosophy

[themastaplan]

Lol, yet I ahven't bought a drink off her, she's at the cash bar, I keep my credit card handy not cash lol

[Brando]

What you should've said was "Nah, I think I'll just keep talking and get to know you more before you go and throw away my number just like that ;)"

[SmoothBlue17]

Lol funny, I like that. Might have to use that one day

[themastaplan]

Lol

[fitnessfan365]

90% - She's not interested and plays games

10% - She's interested but has a dominant type A feminist personality and likes to be in control.

In either case she's not a woman I want to associate with. So when a woman says "I'll take your number instead" I'll just reply with "Oh... you're one of THOSE women. Changed my mind." Then I walk away.

[beans]

Yes, this is a bad sign. When a girl takes your number, it means she's not going to call you, she's no interested.

[Anonymous]

That's typically a sign she's not interested and isn't going to call you.. sorry. Try to talk to her more, though, and maybe once you get to know her she might become more interested?

[cheergrl123]

Sorry, but she's just not that into you.

[babesbabes123]

shes not gonna call back

its an simple way and excuse so you wouldn't get hers

and so she didn't want to feel rude

she also might have a bf

[Anonymous]

hmmm...idk about that...she might just want the ball in her hands..

[Light_Yagami]

Wouldn't get your hopes up with her