Do I repel guys because of my looks or am I unapproachable?

[Anonymous]

What makes a girl approachable? I don't know if I'm unapproachable or if guys just don't want to approach me. I'm guilty of not making eye contact or if I do I look away like it never happened and when I'm walking and I pass by a cute guy I avoid eye contact, I basically go on shut down whenever a cute guys even around. I honestly don't think I'm attractive, I might have attractive moments but that's about it. Evidently people tell my mom I'm pretty and all that stuff but I have a feeling everybody would say that about someones daughter. So do I just repel guys because I don't show interest or just because I'm unattractive? Would guys approach an attractive girl no matter what?

and I don't believe any of that intimidating stuff because guys approach extremely pretty girls all the time

Updates

+1 y

If I do get up the guts to look at a guy they don't usually look back so I'm almost positive it's because I'm not anything special ha ha

[josie19]

Oh, please, girl.

1) Any guy who's looking at any gal just because she looks hot is shallow and probably not worth dating. The best guys are the ones who are attracted to girls for their personalities, quirks, sense of humor etc.

2) in any case, guys find VERY different things physically attractive in a girl. I'm 6' tall, way on the voluptuous side, and not by ANYONE'S definition stunning...but I've had guys tell me they like everything from my legs (which won't win any photo contests) to my eyes to my nose (which is tiny) to my freckles. All my boyfriends thought I was gorgeous, even though I don't. Ask any male friends you have, in private, which girls they think are cutest, and you'll be surprised that they're largely picking different girls!

3) Stop trying to attract guys and start thinking of them as other human beings that you're just interested in getting to know. I know that's tough at your age, but, geez, why do you even want a guy to be attracted to you until you know he's nice/funny/respectful etc?

4) If people tell your mom you're pretty, it's because they think so. Again, EVERYONE has different standards, and they're ALL right. That's why they say, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

[Brando]

Good advice, but she's concerned about why she's not attracting or getting approached by guys.

[Lazy_Minotaur]

you wanna know the three ways to show a guy your interest?

1. eye contact. make as much eye contact as you can give without feeling like its a staring contest.

2. a smile. if you get some solid eye contact, smile at him, and try not to look away while smiling, because you wanna see if he smiles back.

3 primping. play with your hair, check your makeup, just basically make sure you're looking your best.

these three things are the way both guys and girls show interest in one another.

so if you want to be approached, you have to do 1, then 2, and if he's not approaching you by then, try doing all three.

but, if you make eye contact and he looks away, he either shy, or not interested. so, keep trying to make eye contact, and if he keeps avoiding, then he's not interested and you gotta move on.

but, if you are the pretty girl you say you are, you'll get some eye contact back, and look for a smile. I promise you that if you have mutual eye contact and smiles going back and forth, youve got something, and if he doesn't approach you, approach him.

i hope my insight into relationship psychology has helped you.

good luck, Lazy_Minotaur

[human_condition]

Let's forget about looks for the moment. While they matter to shallow people at a first glance, they are insignificant in the long run.

I've never had men approach me, that's because I'm not great looking, and also because I'm shy and unforthcoming. People have told me that I come across as unfriendly. I think this is a bigger issue than my looks.

Try smiling at a few people, or even going up to them and getting to know them. This will make other people see that you're friendly and approachable. Just be down to earth, don't take things too seriously.

Now to follow my own advice... ;)

[Dragonlady]

i don't know because I purposley ignore every male, I have a boyfriend and don't care much for anyone else and I still get approached even yelled at when I ignore them, its actually kinda scary sometimes...guys will get louder and louder if I ignore them and walk away sometimes try to follow me.

If you want automatic attention go blonde! just the hair alone will catch peoples attention...i swear sometimes a guy won't even care if the girl or lady is like 60 years old aslong as her hair is bright blond they all turn to look!

[Asker]

My hair actually is naturally really light blond so..

[Anonymous]

I feel like you are my emotional twin! I have the same problem with eye contact and with feeling insecure. My friends always tell me "Shut up, I don't roll with ugly b*tches!" but they could just be being nice, or they could think I'm cute because they actually know my personality (which, admittedly, is pretty ballin)

[ajboarder]

Honestly, this is me but in dude form. People say I'm quite attractive, but also impossibly unapproachable. I think it's because my brain just stops working around people I don't know well, especially if I find them attractive. I end up not being able to think quickly or speak clearly, and my face settles into this defensive, blank, 'please don't notice me' look.

Something I've found to be especially helpful over the years is forcing myself to be aware of what my facial muscles are doing. If you can keep a very light smile on your face in public, as if anything and everything bemuses you, I guarantee that the number of people who approach you will increase. Sure, you'll still probably stumble over yourself and be awkward around attractive people, but at least you'll have been able to kick-off an encounter. There's a large portion of people out there who are attracted to shyness, so hopefully, you'll find what you're looking for.

[lonelysadguy]

guys are the same way...im like that.. I can't look at cute girls when she's faceing me where she's able to notice cause I'm afraid of what mean thing they would say to me probably because girls never wanted me even back when I was in school because how ugly I look to them etc and I'm just not worth their time and id have to say girls always repel guys because girls never show interest in guys... guys probably look at you but they don't let you notice it...if you want to know if your pretty post your picture on here so us guys will let you know ; )

[SOUL4REAL]

Don't say that,the reason why is you don't have confidence in yourself,this is something you need to work on. STOP talking negative about yourself,words are powerful,you begin to believe what you are saying about yourself! People know how you think of yourself by the way you treat yourself,start speaking good things about yourself! God Bless You!

[CerneAbbasGiant]

I don't know if there is a problem with your looks as your avatar isn't a picture of you. But you did describe the way you behave around cute guys.

You need to behave in exactly the OPPOSITE way, if you want a guy to approach you.

[peacenic]

easy ways to catch a guy? homemade cookies :) BLT sandwich :) Club Sandwich :) nachos :) sausage/biscuit sandwiches :) simply offer food,guy's are almost alway's hungry!

[pinkpanties]

lol you make them sound like animals...

[Luisdalopez]

I think a guy shouldn't care about your looks but if you dress up weirdly they would be scared that you have a problem and they wouldn't look at u. If you do not look at the guys they might think you have a boyfriend and they would not talk to u.