Do you think attractive people somehow get less attention?

[Anonymous]

I'm talking about girls more than guys here. Sure they may get more looks and stares and wolf whistles and stuff. But what about guys approaching them and asking them out? I've heard a mixture of answers from previous questions about this topic. What is your opinion on this?

Girls and guys, if you are considered attractive by others do you have experiences with this subject?

[Anonymous]

Guys rarely approach me even though I get stares and catcalling ... I just guess most part of the male population are cowards... sry guys ... but it's true ar scared of what ... this would be a good question ... Why are guys so scared to approach an attractive women? same can go for guys... there are girl how don't approach guys for whatever reasons... no ideea why.

As for the girls are supposed to make the first move ... Bolsheet in my oppinion... why not ... it's a free world out there ...

I'm not always as hostile ... sry if I came out that strong ... thing is that it's sheet to be attractive and in the situation where you have to answer questions like: Who come you're still a virgin? Why don't you have a boyfriend?

Or the other stuff like: I didn't think I was good enough. or Why would you want me if you can have anyone...

Guys really now ... it's bolsheet and you know it.

[Asker]

Yeah that's true but what you need to understand is that there is a lot more going on here inside a guy's mind before he approaches a girl. We have to make sure we make a good impression, we have to make sure we say the right things, we have to do certain things that may require us to go outside of our nature. E.g. A lot of girls say that if a guy makes her laugh then it will ease the tension or whatever. But what if he doesn't make you laugh? Does that mean you will just write him off already?

[Opinion Owner]

Thing is girls go through that too ... even if they don't make the first move... they worry about impressions they leave or if they behaved as they should have ... do things that are not in our nature to do only because we think that the guy will aprove of it... so it goes both ways.

[Asker]

And a lot girls think that every guy who approaches her is just looking for sex. Well that's not true. Not all of us like to go round sleeping with lots of girls. Which is another reason why guys think twice about approaching girls. We have to approach you in a way that won't seem creepy. And that puts a lot of pressure on us when we know girls are judging us and following everything we say and do. I mean, even trying to ask for something as simple as grabbing a cup of coffee is hard these days.

[Opinion Owner]

I know ... we wonder as well ... at leaast I know I do ... I'm not the kind of girl how waits around to be asked out on a date ... I find nothing wrong with asking a guy out ... did it several times... but we we're discussing was if attractive girls/guys get approached or not ... thing is not so much and it's just wrong. in a way.

[Asker]

I'd also like to add that it is very common to see a guy approach a girl whereas it is not common to see a girl approach a guy. Which is why guys are more open to talk to girls, even if they don't find them attractive. Guys hardly experience gils approaching them. Whereas attractive girls probably always have guys approaching them which is why when we approach a girl it's hard for us to stand our and be different. We think the girl is thinking ''oh great, another loser that wants to date me!''

[Opinion Owner]

I have a theory ... is it possible that guys don't approach attractive girls because they either think that she's taken or the reason you mentioned "oh great, another loser...etc". From the two I tend to incline towards the first one, but your's is also a good reason.

[Asker]

Yeah, your reasoning is another good reason why we don't approach attractive girls. I personally don't approach girls because I think they are way out of my league. At least as far as looks go anyway. When it comes to personality I KNOW I can be worthy of an attractive girl (as long as she has a great personality too) but when I approach an attractive girl I know I only have one chance to make a good impression which is where the pressure comes from. And being undesirable make you insecure.

[Prof_Don]

I have to agree w. this girl; attractive women get asked out less, & the dudes that DO ask them out are usually the "player" types.

Attractive girls don't "got it made" when it comes to MEANINGFUL relationships. :(

[Anonymous]

I've been told on numerous occasions and by different people of varying ages that I am very beautiful and special and could be a model if I wanted to (not model thin though, more a size 4/6, and I'm tall, with a bit of an hourglass figure).

I get looked at, yes, stared at, wolf whistled at sometimes, I've never seriously been approached and never been asked out. I should note I'm only just 17 though, and don't go out often (It's legal in Holland at 16). I'm usually the one initiating contact.

There are other things than beauty that make people less approachable, though. I am shy, which is easily mistaken for arrogance, and intelligence and sharp-wittedness are factors too. (Not a dumb blond here!).

[971789]

Yeah, I definitely get attention from guys when I go out but guys never approach me to ask me out. The guys that do end up trying to get involved with me they don't have that confidence to just ask me out, like we'll hang out and then maybe he'll kiss me but they don't ask me out. Usually they end up being jerks and just move on. The nice guys who would like me for who I am aren't giving me the time of day except for watching me from a distance...I guess they think that since other guys whistle and stuff or give me attention when I'm out that that's representative of how many guys are asking me out on dates, so they think they have no chance. However, that's definitely not the case...

[Asker]

Just out of curiousity, would you ever consider making the first move on some of these nice guys who like you for who you are?

[JessK28]

I totally get this. The guy I'm dating now assumes I'm constantly getting him on, when really I'm out with the girls constantly checking my phone hoping he calls. He's doubted that I really want him when I could have all these other guys. They think because we get all this attention that we WANT the attention and that we act on it. So not true. When I'm with someone, all I want is them! Yes men stare at me when I walk by, but it's his hand I'm holding and his bed I'm going to be in that night!

[971789]

I would but the thing is I'm shy too. I think, as silly as it sounds, getting all this attention from guys kind of bites us in the ass too because we get used to the attention but not from guys who are treating us right and so we don't expect to be treated tastefully so it's almost like we can't believe that a guy would genuinely like us the person

[malekoniky]

You know, I am not coward. I go almost to all girls I love to look at anywhere. I didn't get any positive response. Beautiful woman automatically respond badly because when I approach they think I am a pig.

BEAUTIFUL GIRLS TALK TO ME PLEASE. Just talk, I won't eat you. I am too far anyway :D.

[postt]

i hear really attractive people get asked out less due to fear of rejection.

[Anonymous]

I'm yelled at, groped, catcalled, stared at, but never approached or asked out. Then when men get to know me/date me they question how I'm single and tell me how beautiful my face is. I tell them men don't approach me. The last guy I talked to mentioned how in the past he didn't go after a lot of girls like me because he assumed he couldn't get them, so he didn't try.

It's annoying and hurtful. I feel just just a pretty face with nothing else to offer. I'm told I'm intimidating because I'm pretty, which is upsetting because I'm so friendly and love meeting people!

[Asker]

What you girls don't understand is you are actually at an advantage if you are getting this much attention. I mean let's face it, a person (and it's more for girls than guys in this case) can judge for themselves how attractive they are by the amount of attention they are receiving, whether it's good attention or bad attention. If you are as attractive as you say you are then you are in a perfect position to approach the guy you want. Especially seeing as it sounds like you have the personality.

[Opinion Owner]

I've tried approaching guys and making the first move, it's always backfired and I'm not doing it anymore. They assume I'm slutty or just want sex. They don't see me as anything else after that.

I assure you I don't feel I have any advantage. I'm just a pretty girl that guys want to sleep with. There's no advantage to that, I'm so tired of being that girl.

[Asker]

You shouldn't feel like that. It's the same problem us guys have. If we approach girls then they just assume we want sex from them. It's all in the approach. I'm sure if your approach is right then guys wouldn't think that abou you. But I know what you mean though. I've had girls approach me and trust me, I can definitely tell the difference between slutty girls and the genuine good girls.

[littlered17]

Guys whistle, stare, catcall and everything else to me but never approach me. Its like there a bubble around me and the only thing that they can do is be pigs. I wish they did. Cause girls aren't suppose to be the first one to do something. I mean we leave hints but guys don't even pick up on the bombs. And its hurtful when guys don't do anything because we don't feel worth anything. But I'm really friendly and funny cause I always make my friends laugh.

[Asker]

Guys feel the same way about attractive girls. We don't approach you because we think we are not good enough for you, especially when it comes to physical traits. That's why I don't approach women. I'm highly undesirable physically. But you're wrong about girls not supposed to be making the first move. Girls can make the first move too. The notion about guys always having to make the first move is outdated.

[malekoniky]

I would talk to you.

[lillianAngie]

Guys usually get intimated I feel. They have crushes on us, but never ask us out supposing they are not good enough or we're taken.

recently, I found out a guy I liked from high school also had a crush on me. 9 years later, he brought it up in a chat. I asked how come he never said anything, he told me he didn't know I was single. But had he made a move on me, we would have an awesome relationship.

[Anonymous]

i am not really sure , but maybe you might be right somehow.i know for myself when I lost some weight and started to show myself in more feminine ways (not necessarily sexy dresses), many men showed attraction towards me.the problem is though, in such cases it felt to me like it was mostly sexual , which I don`t care about.i want a man to love me for the way I am , not only be seduced by my sex appeal.

[Girlygirl120]

Well yes more attractive people do get asked out far less then those who are not becuase apparently we are all bitches and snooty and we feel that guys are just after us for thier notches on thier belts

[Asker]

That's not true. I never go after an attractive girl just to get her into bed or anything. And the fact that attractive girls all are bitches is a stereotype. Some do and some don't.

[LilyBee]

really? most attractive people I know get lots of attention. its always the unattractive people crying about how superficial people are and constantly asking "do guys/girls like this."

[moonlightromance]

i've noticed that a lot of guys won't make eye contact with me if they think I'm pretty so it makes me feel like they don't like me

[Anonymous]

i seldom get asked out. I have tons of guy friends, but none that I am attracted to. I sometimes think that I intimidate attractive guys.

[monkey303]

Well there is that saying that is something like: The attractive ones are the people everyone wants to hook up with or have a one night stand, not people you want to take home to your parents at the end of the day.

[machinist]

I'm down to meet any of you females. Hit me up!