Girls: Why do you try so hard to have the perfect body and face?

[iSkydive]

I see this everyday. Girls obsessing over breast shape, teeth whitening, nails, negligible fat deposits under their arms, etc. Why? Most men, myself included, are actually turned off by "perfect" girls. Sure, they might arouse us when we see them in magazines or even a p*rn. But in real life, we don't know what to think of them. If a guy likes you, your tiny little flaws will actually turn him on. They are a reminder that you are actually a human being and not an untouchable Goddess. Take a lesson from consumer spending: if it's too good to be true, it probably is. It's the same with girls. When I see a supposedly "perfect" girl, I immediately ask myself what her deal is. I don't trust her. And neither do must guys. The "perfect" girls get approached a lot less than average girls. Everyone has flaws, and no guy can relate at any level to a girl that doesn't seem to have a flaw on her.

My advice ladies: loosen up some. If I like you, you're one misaligned tooth is a turn on. If I like you, that "weird" freckle on the tip of your nose excites me. If I like you, all of your flaws are perfect to me.

Updates

+1 y

I hope I didn't come across as trying to say don't try to make yourself look good. There's definitely something to be said about a girl that tries versus a girl that basically lets herself go. But to be totally obsessed with everything? There is a point of diminishing returns. Beyond that, your appeal starts to regress.

Updates

+1 y

I think I need to make a clarification. Women that try to look "perfect" from a visual standpoint generally attract only the shallow men looking for only one thing: sex. Men looking for more than just sex (like, you know, a real and deep relationship) will very likely look right past you. And that's the point of view that I was coming from in this post.

[Anonymous]

so you're turned off by perfection but turned on by it at the same time? O.o lol

And you can only speak for yourself, because a lot of the guys who can pull "perfect" models, often do.

I highly doubt guys are going for girls who don't put a lot of effort to correct a certain number of things. are you going for the unshaven, bushy eyed, acne faced, jacked toothed, overweight, dowdy chicks out there ? No. So we see all the work that we have to do, and most of us go out and do it because we know our chances of being alone will be much higher if we're too natural. that's just the reality of it. and for some girls, once they go down this road of "correcting" what's wrong with theiir bodies, they have a natural reaction to go and see what else is out there that they should correct. It can be a slippery slope for some girls. plus, we live in a society where men do encourage these standards, whether you admit it or not. when you support million/billion dollar magazines that advertise the kind of "perfection" that men want to see and think is desirable, you are encouraging it. When you support more mainstream p*rn with certain prototypically beautiful girls, you encourage it. its in the advertisements that you respond to, evn subconsciously, the commercials that get your attention, music videos, the trends you respond to positively, etc. If none of this was what men liked, it wouldn't be such a successful method of getting their money and seeling things. those standards of beauty trickle down to the average jane, obviously. these standards werent created for womens own benefit, they were created in response to the desires of what men want to see. So I don't see how you can randomly just call it quits and say "well, we don't care about that anymore so please undo years of mental conditioning in patriarchal society and embrace your flaws." human beings don't work that way. there is no collective male voice out there rejecting the images of perfection in our society. men say "yes, that's what I want to see." that's what young girls and even older women internalize because they aren't stupid enough to really think that if they stopped all this perfecting of their bodies that men would be knocking on their doors or looking their way. They look at what works, what men pay for, what they support, what they gravitate to. and then many women think "ah - I want to be that girl or as close to her as I can be!" this is the reality, my dear.

[Opinion Owner]

So, now, if a girl tries to look her best, she isn't relationship material? lol damn. men are really weird.

[iSkydive]

I didn't say that. Maybe she is GREAT relationship material. I just said that men like me that want more than just sex will probably look right past her. I know plenty of "perfect" looking women and they all can't see to find a guy to approach her that wants more than just sex. Yet, all the average good-looking girls that I know have no issue finding a boyfriend. Whether she chooses tho date the right guy, however, is her issue.

[voguevito]

Alright, women try and make themselves look perfect because there is a lot of pressure coming from men, the media but also other women. Other women, especially. That's because it's an instinct. In nature, both females and males try to make it to the top(being the neatest, the most colorful, the biggest, the handsomest, etc.) In nature there is a lot of game trying to find a mate and usually, only the best get one and vice versa for guys. Guys always want to be the strongest, the fastest, etc. With the way our society is, it's sort of become a rule to look the best. If you're 40 and don't get botox then you look old and aren't excepted. Our society is obsessed with looking young and perfect, so everyone strives to be perfect because that's what beauty is to us. Perfection. And you know, if our society said that being what we call "ugly" was "perfect" then everyone would strive to be "ugly". It all has to do with our instincts and clashing society. (: Hope I helped at all!

[kr2511]

I'm actually really glad you brought this up. Id be lying if I said I don't worry about that stuff too. Women have a lot of pressure about their bodies. And yes, a lot of it stems from the media, but I also think it comes from other women. I used to spend hours doing my hair and make up, picking out the perfect outfit and shoes, but it wasn't for men. I only told myself that. Women do that to yes, look good, but also to he accepted or "trump" other women. The only advice I can give is to compliment her flaws. Maybe she will feel more accepted by you, and in return accept herself just a little bit more.

[iSkydive]

A girl I dated once was very self conscious about her smile because she had one crooked tooth. I actually liked her smile and her tooth made her seem real to me... as opposed to thinking that maybe I'm just having a dream about dating this girl I like so much.

[Anonymous]

They have a lot of competition between other girls that care about their appearance. Who would you chose? The one that cares about their appearance or the one that doesn't?

Sorry, its isn't exactly mens' fault...However the reason is because we are the target.

[iSkydive]

I agree. When women compete, it gives men options.

[Rizzle]

I like girls that work hard and take pride in keeping their bodies and faces top notch. But yes I admit I know some girls who overdo it.

[drummerdude25]

Right... It IS important for us to find a woman attractive, but she doesn't have to be perfect. Just depends on the girl and how you feel about her. With the right guy, there is no reason for a girl to be insecure...

[kr2511]

I get what you're saying. I think some people took it too far here. I completely agree with you. imperfection is beauty (to me at least). I consider myself to be very beautiful inside and out. and that's the kind of person I want to be with. keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. personally, id much rather date a guy who has a big nose or a little chip in his tooth than a guy who has a 12 pack with a perfect face who goes tanning... yes, that's attractive. but how interesting is it? I also think that as women mature, they stop picking themselves apart so much. in high school and most of college I was way too hard on myself. I learned to accept myself flaws and all, and to be honest I feel better inside and out. there are women out there who don't obsess over every little aspect of their appearance. just may take some searching to find one.

[udolipixie]

Because guys prefer youth & beauty.

As for your second update men looking for more won't look past the shallow girls they'll pump & dump them.

In general guys do pump & dump girls they deem unfit and get into relationships with girls they deem fit just like how in general girls will go for bad boys then good guys.

[christy1350]

its because guys are so picky and want this and that and so that's why girls strive to be "perfect" or your not wanted by them

[iSkydive]

Women compete with each other so much on the physical attraction side of things that it gives some guys so many options that they can be choosey. But, most men that I know aren't that shallow or picky. You might need to ask yourself what sort of guys you hang out around that give you this impression that all guys are picky. When I watch "reality" TV shows, I can see how you might think this way. But in MY reality, the world isn't exactly what you think.

[christy1350]

yes women compete with each other on the physical attraction side because guys pressure us to look pretty. so are you saying that you would pick a girl who doesn't care about how she looks, and who isn't in good shape over a girl who cares how she looks and who is in good shape? yes the guys I hang out are shallow but ever where I go or look there are always the guys with the pretty girl next to them not the girl that unattractive.

[iSkydive]

I want a girl that takes care of herself, just like a girl wants a guy that takes care of himself. However, I'm sure you don't want a guy that obsesses over his looks, do you? It's the same for me. You know.. please, go to the gym, eat the right foods, fix your hair, etc. But, please STOP when you start obsessing over the small things. Also, go light on the makeup. The trick is to look like you aren't wearing any.

[christy1350]

of course I do want a guy that is obsessed with themselves and what do you mean by small things? cause weight to me is a big thing to be obsessed over .. its important to have a healthy weight

[christy1350]

of course I do not want a guy that is obsessed with themselves and what do you mean by small things? I think that weight is a big thing to be obsessed about at least maintain a healthy weight not too skinny and not overweight

[iSkydive]

Obsessed with himself in what ways? Taking longer to get ready than you? Getting pissed off about a stretch mark under his arm after a workout? An imperfect finger nail? Even narcissism?

Remember that scene from Good Will Hunting where Sean talked about how his wife's imperfection made her perfect to him? Watch it on YouTube... that's what I'm getting at.

[20Katerina]

I see it like this love yourself for who you are. I leave without make up I really don't care what I look. If people don't like what I look like don't look at me I do think women are worried what they look like all the time. If your hot naturally embrace it and love it don't try so hard.

[queenofpeen]

I can't answer your question, because I feel the same way you do :P Just wanted to say thanks for voicing your opinion on this.

I think girls just compare themselves to other girls too much.

[Anonymous]

I don't. Life is too short for this. But thanks for the nice question :)

[iSkydive]

Thank you :)

[Anonymous]

So I guess when you mean a girl that is obsessed like Megan Fox that is pretty good looking by nature but now is going overboard with botox? She didn't need to be obsessed because she was already good looking. So you are saying that a girl like Sarah Jessica Parker that Remains with that ugly nose is better because if she was obsessed with her looks she would have change it?

You don't like natural my friend, you just don't like overboard obsession, would you marry a chubby girl? I doubt it

[ilovehim0124]

OMFG! I LOVE YOU! I wish more guys took the time to say things like this!

[Anonymous]

Hot girls get average guys. Average girls get unattractive guys. Ugly girls are single. Hot guys get hot, much younger girls or don't settle down at all...

[kr2511]

I'm just curious as to how old you are if you don't mind me asking

[Opinion Owner]

23

[udolipixie]

+1

Guys upgrade in looks.

It's in girls best interest to downgrade in looks because studies prove men treat wives who are more attractive than them better than wives who are less or equally attractive.

[Anonymous]

Small flaws or not, I bet the girls you fall for are among the best looking you can get. Females realize it's looks then other stuff, so try to be the most attractive to get past the first round.

[iSkydive]

Or maybe the girls I fall for are the best that I want? I don't want a supermodel girlfriend and I don't want my girlfriend to obsess about missing her 2 o'clock tanning session at the salon. Looks are a part of the first impression, but you also must consider body language and overall personality. It seems to me that too many girls fail to work on the things controlled by their brains.

[Opinion Owner]

Only some girls are naturally pretty enough to get attention from the guys she likes.

[iSkydive]

It's the same for guys, too. My point is that I am noticing a trend of overly obsessive girls. I want a girl to improve herself, but not to the point of going overboard. At some point, she becomes nothing but a shiny novelty item with no internal value. That's great if the guy is shallow and all he wants is sex... but for a guy like me that wants a meaningful relationship, she's at the bottom of my list.

[TinyTinaWuzHere]

Because it attracts men with a sexy face and a six pack.

[drummerdude25]

I agree man... Well said.

[Anonymous]

Guys are visual. We want to be able to be with who we want, not just who wants us. The better the guy, the more competition.

[Opinion Owner]

Plus, 90% of girls have been rejected by guys they got along with well because they weren't pretty enough.

[drummerdude25]

That last statement is not true at all... If anything, I've seen quite a lot of "less than quality" guys get the most attention.

[iSkydive]

But what percentage of guys that did the rejecting are this shallow? Most of the guys I know aren't that shallow.

What I'm saying is try to look your best self without overdoing it. To be honest, it's usually a flaw in a girl that makes me notice her. I'd NEVER have a girl fix the very things that attracted me to her.

[Opinion Owner]

Most guys are as shallow as they can get away with.

[iSkydive]

If you think most men are shallow, then I would think that you only notice shallow men and guys like me are invisible to you. To eat his or her own, I guess.

[srobe]

I agree with the last comment by the question asker. All I seem to see with women is a lot of complaints about how they can never find a "good guy" who isn't shallow...but then they turn a blind eye toward every damn one of the good guys. Its only until they have been f***ing around long enough and have tons of baggage the go "WHOA! NICE GUYS! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!" And then we have to put up with your baggage otherwise we are ass holes. Yup...life is fair...