Girls, why do you try so hard to look good?

Question

why do some(most) of you girls try so dam hard to look nice?

when I see a girl that looks good because of the way she's dressed, I'm attracted to her, but I'd never date her.

the way I see it, some girls dress nice to overcompensate, the way guys with penis insecurities do with sports cars.

i wouldn't want to date someone who cares about their appearance so much, they seem shallow and insecure.

the kind of girls I like are the ones that usually DON'T wear make up or dress up. because those are the girls I see as most beautiful, inside ant out.

and I seriously think most girls don't even dress up to attract men, but to impress other girls. one time I asked my ex about this and she said "its like a secret competition to see who's prettier" and I was like, I f***in knew it!

cause I mean, what guy is into fashion the way that you girls are?

no guy is going to date you for your fancy purse, or for your designer boots, sweater or hat or whatever-the-f***, so why?

ALSO, a Q for you guys, are you attracted to these girls that try so hard to look good?

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

Most girls don't go overboard in staying on top of current fashion and spending hours getting ready.

There are high maintenance girls who do fit that profile. I know women who need an hour to get ready to go out, and I am not talking about the time it takes them to pick out their clothes or shower. Some women spend an inordinate amount of time applying makeup, styling their hair and then more time trying to find the "perfect" outfit. They may also spend a high proportion of their earnings on clothing and makeup. And, yes, many of those girls, particularly the younger ones, are, in their mind, competing with other girls. Those other girls are usually not aware of the competition nor the rules lol, unless they too are one of these high maintenance girls.

Most girls; however, just want to feel attractive, whatever that means to them, without spending all that time and money. Women are selected based on their physical attractiveness to men. Now, what guys consider attractive runs the gamut, so women don't need to wear makeup or look like Fashion Barbie to get the guy. I personally get surprised at the guys that go for a girl with lots of makeup, fake eyelashes and an outfit that is difficult to move around in (think super short skirts and super high heels), but there are guys who want their girl to look like that on a daily basis.

To pretend there is no pressure for girls to look attractive would be to ignore all the messages, overt and subliminal, sent out in the media and in society about women. Look at magazines, ads, TV shows, movies. Look at advice and ads that tell women how to get a guy. So many of them are about being sexy or sexual. I cannot say I see many social messages that tell girls that if they want to get a guy they should study real hard in college or get a great career. Most social messages surround a girl being seen as a sexually desirable being. Even if that is not the full truth and is not enough to sustain a relationship, that is a strong message that is pushed out to us.

pr3ttybr0wn · Accepted Answer

whats wrong with trying hard to look good? when you go out into the world I think its better to look presentable, I'm trying to become more stylish myself Most of the time, looking good makes you feel good. I know I feel better and more confident when I'm dressed up, hair done and looking good over no makeup and sweatpants lol. It's rarely about being insecure because think of the average woman who is depressed and insecure with her appearance. most likely she is not going to do anything with her looks, she's gonna look slobby and blend into the background and not try. she's gonna look like a frumpy drab, I know because I used to be that girl. now that I am more confident I take the time to look nice and currant because I feel better when I project a good image. I care about what I look like because I prefer looking attractive over looking like I just woke up.

several generations ago, men and women both took pride in their appearance. when they stepped out, they made an effort to look sharp and it came off as dignified and classy. now people look at it as a bad thing? I think its better to look good than look like a slob

i fail to see why this is a negative thing. no offense but I feel that guys who claim to be turned off by girls who make an effort, are really just covering up the fact that they feel intimidated by them. You're really trying to say that you would prefer a girl who is 100% natural: aka no makeup to cover her flaws. so let that acne, dark spots, under eye bags and bumps shine because most girls don't have perfectly clear skin. ratty hair with split ends because she's not "shallow" enough to go to the salon and get it done professionally. looks like a bag lady because she's wearing an outfit that looks like she should be going to the gym. come on yall know damn well you don't prefer this type of girl...either that is the only type of girl yall can get or you're just saying that because girls who are attractive and look nice intimidate you and you feel you would be rejected by them.

fellylove · Accepted Answer

okay, to be honest, I'm speaking in behalf of all girls right now.

Not every single girl tries so damn hard to look good. Like me, I never wear makeup, unless its for special occasions. but seriously a lot of girls try so hard to look good, not to get attention, or not to have competitions with other girls, but they are very insecure about the way they look. if you didn't know my friend, a lot girls are very judgemental. Yes, everyone should have confidence in themselves but seriously, its very hard on some girls because they don't think they are beautiful. EVER GIRL IN THIS F***ING WORLD IS BEAUTIFUL. INSIDE AND OUT. & its really nice of you to actually say that you like a girl that doesn't wear makeup, and youd still date her if she comes up to you with her hair tied up, and is wearing sweatpants and sweatshirt. We need more guys like you. Girls wear makeup because they are insecure about the way they look and they think that if they don't have makeup on, no guy will ever date them. well, that's not right. GIRLS; YOU DONT NEED TO PUT MAKEUP ON, OR WEAR REALLY REAVLING CLOTHES FOR A GUY TO LIKE YOU. THE ONLY GUY THAT DESERVES YOU IS A GUY LIKE THIS ONE. HE ONLY DESERVES YOU IF HE STILL THINKS YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIUFL PERSON IN THE WORLD EVEN WITH OUT YOUR MAKEUP ON OR YOUR COMING TO HIM WITH SWEATPANTS ON, A SWEATER ON OR JUST WHATEVER.

ok I got my point across. read it everyone. :) kbyeee;)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Here's a suggestion, and I am being dead serious. Move out of California.

Also, I think the majority of men and women care about their looks, and that the majority of them would find the other sex unattractive if they don't care whatsoever. When it comes to inside the house, keep your bed hair, keep your pajamas and raggedy t-shirt. But when people go out in public they want to at least be presentable. Being presentable doesn't mean wearing a dress skirt, and blouse, or wearing dress shirt/pants with a tie, and sports-coat. For example, there was a girl today in my class, she wore jeans, a beanie and a female nfl hoodie. She dressed up and got ready for the day and was presentable. It's all about being comfortable with themselves, and if someone is comfortable with themselves, then they are going to be more comfortable around other people. Which in turn is going to make them more attractive. I seriously think you need to move away from California because it's really rare where I live to see girls to go ALL OUT day in and day out. Dressing up here is just looking nice, looking presentable. To look nice enough where your parents can respect her without having a negative image of that person.

imjustadude · Accepted Answer

Most girls try to look so damn nice because it gets them things and not just guys. You're so vain. You thought it was about you... lol. A good looking girl can get all kinds of attention and a fairly good paying job as a sales rep or maybe even a political office. Yes, many are trying to overcompensate, they are trying to appear as if they are a hypothetically perfect person.

A reason people (not just women) try to look good is because looking good is usually an indicator of youth, heath and self esteem which are all things most people are attracted to and want.

As far as fashion goes it is an outward expression of wealth. Only wealthy people can afford to buy the latest and greatest styles. Fashion also is a way for one to fit in or conform to a social group. Which means it changes between groups. Construction workers and advertising executives have different ideas of what conforms just like geeks and frat boys do.

Some would say screw it and do whatever they want and that is fine, but they may inadvertently conform to a group of people called senior citizens or one called homeless people. These aren't groups most young people don't want to be associated with.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh wow... that's a load of answers you've gotten.

I think it is more complicated than what you make it out to be. Here's why:

1) Media and then men - the media has produced many brilliant cosmetic marketing tactics to make girls feel not so great about themselves and push a certain standard of beauty. In turn, men also response by pushing standards of beauty on girls. I am not saying all men are of this nature, but believe me when I say: guys, when you tell a girl she's ugly, you really are promoting the ideal. That can in turn lead the girl into depression or make the girl buy all these products to feel better about herself - because men and media have been making her feel bad. So she feels a need to conform to get validation. This is not just a simple insecurity, it is much more complex than you make it out to be. They to be recognized as someone worthy of something - be it being perceived as desirable or other.

2) Other girls treating other girls in a crappy manner, girls and the media - similar concept...different perception. In this case, the girls who often compete for who is best dress are often the ones that fall hardest towards the marketing schemes without knowing so.

Recurring theme: there seems to be a lack of respect for what people look like in nature, minus all the chemicals and makeup.

Other reasons:

Some girls just find dressing up and buying nice clothes to be a fun / creative way. It is also a way for them to express themselves (granted- despite looking nice for themselves (or sometimes others) the lot of girls aren't nearly as uniquely dress as they think they are. Most girls tend to wear a similar trends. Not all girls do it for men... it can just be fun.

Having said that I do understand where you are coming from, no girl needs a 600 dollar under-garment set from victoria secret (as bras only suppose last 3 months, tops). New trends and new trends keep popping up.

I hope you stick to your word... I do not wear makeup. And kind of understand where you are coming from. But be careful of how you say things.

Anonymous · Answer

And that's totally fine because we all have our preferences, just understand that judging someone for the way they choose to look and excluding an entire group of people for how they look, dress, etc. is probably more shallow than anything youve mentioned so far. food for thought.

moving on. some people would like to live in sweats all day and move through life looking like a really bad teen movie. and that's totally fine as well, I don't judge them, but I also don't find that attractive. I've always valued upkeep in appearance. if nothing else it shows that you actually give a damn about yourself and how you come off to the world. and while the whole "i don't give a f***" thing is attractive to some people, it can also hurt them in other ways. take my cousin for example. when people look at him, they usually think "what a bum". He's smart and talented but, with the exception of certain artsy fields, no employer is going to take him seriously. No one he tries to network with will assume he's serious about life in general or the hard working type who will make their associates look good or who could handle the challenges of any opportunities they may have to offer. when people look at me, its quite clear that I'm put together. there's a reason why I've worked several internships, I have lots of connections, and I'm going somewhere in life. what you know is important, and your abilities are important as well, but the difference between my cousin and I is that I actually do understand that appearances and how people perceive you is 80% of the game.

So there's that. Also, I like to look a certain way and I'm going to dress that way regardless of how any random guy feels on the street. even when I was a kid, I loved makeup and clothes and the culture of beauty I guess. I love it. I like playing with fashion and trying different things. Blah blah blah you get the f***in picture. if any guy actually told me he wouldn't date me because of the way I dressed I mean...I'd probably tell him to go f*** himself. That's just how I am. Aside from employers and networking opportunities, I just don't give a f***. I've always been true to who I am and if some people don't like it, oh well, that's life. To the left, to left.

What guys are into their looks and appearances? Successful men, men in corporate America, men with money, men with ambition, etc. Just those men, that's all. Who wants them, though, right?

My life doesn't revolve around men. I know for some ignoramuses that may be hard to understand, but just try to wrap your mind around that concept. To ask why would I do something if it isn't going to attract men is ridiculous. You need a slap, hon.

Women do this for different reasons. We are individuals with our own minds, even if you find that hard to believe. For some it is men. After all, the slobs don't get much attention from most guys. That's a fact. Others do it because they f***ing want to. *raises hand*. Peer pressure, societal standards, work, etc.

emmablunt1993 · Answer

Because the media tells us that in order to be considered beautiful, it is a neccessity to wear makeup.Also, so many men applaud women in the public eye for being 'beautiful' but if you took all that makeup off them, most would be downright ugly, or average at best.You see, if men didn't glorify these 'drop-dead gorgeous' celebrities, women wouldn't feel the need to dress up so much & wear makeup.Men need to realize that women in the public eye have no real beauty at all, it's all artificial, makeup,photoshop,hair extensions,etc etc.When men realize this, & notice that there are actually more beautiful people in everyday life than ever in hollywood, then women will start to feel adequate.But it probably isn't going to happen for a while, as men think with their penis's, when they see a ''gorgeous'' woman like Megan Fox for example, they don't think about the fact she has colored contacts,hair extensions,cosmetic surgery,sh*t loads of war paint & fake-tan, they just think ''she is gorgeous'' when really, she's pretty darn average without all her enhancements.

Anonymous · Answer

Okay. So lets set some things straight. I'm a girl and I can tell you that ALL girls are high maintenance by your definition. Even that so-called girl that you think is "so chill" and not vain, probably is. She probably shaves and waxes. She probably has some medication to help with her acne and make her look better. She gets herself a nice haircut and conditioner. And probably wore some BB cream. Wears contacts. I could go on. She probably systematically created that outfit to look "not put together". You dont even know girls, okay--we've already outsmarted you.
If you really saw a girl that was "not trying", wasn't wearing the slightest bit of " natural looking" makeup--then, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be throwing yourself at her. And Come on not everyone on the planet is naturally beautiful. That's probably 15% of the population, so what about the rest of us? If you're already a natural beauty you can just wakeup and KNOW that you can go out and look nice--AND THATS PERFECTLY OKAY. But the rest and the majority of girls want to feel good as well. We already know if we didn't try and just went out in sweats it wouldn't be the same affect.
Everyone knows what suits them and everyone wants to look good--if you don't, your probably on the verge of killing yourself because that's one of the signs of suicide--giving up on personal appearance.
And about wearing outfits--well that's because girls have so many more choices. You can wear a skirt or some jeggings with a blouse or crop top--whatever the hell you want. AND THATS OKAY because that's YOUR STYLE. For the most part we love trying different styles and that's just it okay. Stop making stupid remarks and comments when your not even trying to understand a girls view and mindset.
Whether it be from the generation we live in influencing us to the plain fact that we actually want to feel and be clean, who gives a flying fuck! You all need to get out of your heads and realize how stupid and ridiculous it is to be picking at how someone wants to go about their life.

sarahh_12 · Answer

I'm the kind of young woman that is just as confident in some sweats, as I am in a skin tight dress with some four inch pumps. I generally don't wear a lot of makeup; some mascara, maybe some blush now and then.

Sometimes, though, I like to just play dress-up and doll myself up for a day; it's fun! Does that make me or any other female that does this insecure or shallow? No. It's simply having some fun with yourself and getting all jazzed up.

My theory is, if a guy is willing to come talk to me and thinks I'm attractive when I'm in my sweats and hair pulled up after a workout or something, you've gotta give him a chance. If he only has the gonads to do it when I'm dressed up, it'll take a lot more work to get in good with me because I'll probably think he's a little bit shallow (given that we've seen each other before and he hadn't said anything).

Try not to over-think this, dude. I know so many girls that own NOTHING designer but can still dress nice, and they dress-up simply for themselves. Not to impress anyone or anything like that, but just for the hell of it sometimes.

PoeticNinja · Answer

No, we don't try hard to look good for anybody but our damn selves.

Personally, I dress up because I like what I see when I walk pass windows, mirrors, and my reflection off people sunglasses. :P

Not only it boosts my confidence but I actually pay more attention in class than I do when I'm just in sweats and a t-shirt. I don't know what 'competition' you're talking about that girls have with one another. It's all bullsh*t to me. Making other girls jealous because of what I wear isn't worth it and if the girl next to me is dressed up, well you know what? Good for her! I would compliment on her outfit, and move the f*** on.

"the kind of girls I like are the ones that usually DON'T wear make up or dress up. because those are the girls I see as most beautiful, inside ant out." - You find these girls beautiful on the inside, just because they don't put much effort into their looks? A girl who puts effort into her appearance can be beautiful on the inside just as much as the girl who doesn't care about her appearance.

Guys complain "My girlfriend let herself go" or "she doesn't dress up as much as she used too" Ahh! I just wanna turn all you guys into llamas.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice. Some people can look great just wearing t-shirt and jeans. While others, such as myself, it's just not a good look. I guess you could say I dress up. But I wear clothing that I feel comfortable in. I don't wear designer clothing, but I wear stuff like sweaters and nice tops that are comfortable and cover me up. I find most t-shirts to be too short, and most jeans make me look really heavy. I am a bigger person in general, so why not try to look better?

I tend to get treated better if I dress well. Both by women and men and since I am going to be looking for a job soon, I want to leave people with a good impression of me. You never know who will be meeting so it's good to look presentable.

I think the pursuit of looking good goes too far when it completely consume someone. Am I afraid to step out of the house without makeup? Not at all, I could care less if someone hates me because I don't have make-up on. Most days I just wear mascara, which is hardly anything. A lot of girls I know wear foundation, concealer, mascara, lip gloss, eyeliner, etc... Everyday! My morning routine consists of waking up, washing my face, puting on mascara, and getting dressed :P Takes me 5 minutes.

I think you need to clarify though what you consider to be undesirable high maintenance, there is a lot in between low maintenance and high maintenance. I consider myself fairly low maintenance, because I don't spend that much time getting ready and I can handle not having to put on any make-up. But I don't want to go out wearing sweat pants and a sweater. I'm just not comfortable in it. Not because I am insecure, but because they are really sloppy clothes and they make me feel like a bum or feel like I didn't shower that day :P I tend to save those for when I exercise.

Standingpretty · Answer

Whether we like it or not, the minute we step out the door people are going to be looking at us and judging us. Some girls do over compensate, but, that's because they feel like they need too. Not all dressing up and make-up wearing stems from insecurity. I think the reason why girls put so much into their look is a two-parter, one:so they don't get judged and want people to accept them two:because they want to look at themselves and feel good about what they see in the mirrior. Sometimes one, sometimes both.

Secondly, I disagree with a "plain jane"(no make up, boring clothes) type girl being a certain way compared to girls who dress up. I feel that a lot of plain janes have no confidence or take pride in their look at all. Either, they don't care what people see them as( which, is a good trait sometimes) or they don't think they look pretty either way and take the easy route of not trying. I think this look is more for girls who are into sports or have busy lives. The downside to always walking around in your sweat pants and favorite cookie monster tee with no make-up on is people sometimes take you for lazy or immature. There is nothing wrong with showing off or enhancing what nature gave a woman.

Lastly, your ex is a downright moron. The sad thing I see on this site all the time that pisses me off greatly is when girls speak for all girls. ONE WOMAN CAN NOT SPEAK FOR ALL WOMEN. WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT, JUST LIKE GUYS ARE. when I dress up, it's because I like fashion and I take pride in showing off what nature gave me instead of hiding it. I do not dress for other girls, or even care what they think of me. Guys will be attracted to all types of women just like girls are attracted to all types of men out there, it's called:"To each their own". There is no one answer that fits all.

Anonymous · Answer

I appreciate your honesty in this question. Although my family and I don't try too hard to look good, there are too many reasons why girls try so hard:

1) Culture and Upbringing

- For instance in America, there exist a culture within girls and ladies to look good, to dress up, to make up, to glam up, and to be more materialistic than other countries. Maybe they've been surrounded or brought up with this culture that it's already a norm to try "too hard" occasionally to impress.

2) Insecurities and lack of confidence

- Nuff said.

3) Attention Seeking

- Nuff said as well.

4) OCD

- Some girls/ladies think that in order to be BETTER than others, more or the extreme is better than less or simplicity.

5) They themselves don't know they come across too hard or they are sending wrong messages to others!

- Some girls think how they dress, make up and stuff look too contrived, and sometimes they think they look very good in lotsa make up!

6) To mask out and hide psychological issues

- Sometimes these people genuinely needs help. And it takes a lot for them to open up or to share what's really behind the mask of make up.

7) Difference in opinion

- You and they may not share the same thoughts on what looks good, what not; what's trying too hard, what's ok.

I'd say don't go too hard on them. It's their way of life, we don't know much about them, so just let it be. And yes, many guys also try too hard to look good too. For instance, sometimes they put too much effort in looking ripped and stuff and have certain form of OCD like girls too. Also yes, a number of BOYS are attracted to girls who try so hard to look good. Maybe they find themselves sharing the same psychology and they can relate and connect to one another easier, who knows!

heatherlu · Answer

I dress nice for myself. I always dress up, I always wear make-up. I'm just more comfortable that way. So yeah - I guess I'm insecure in a way - but not so much so that it rules my life; it's not like I can't go outside without any make-up on, I just choose, for the most part, not to.

Plus I like nice, pretty things.

My boyfriend plays videogames - I don't get it.

I go shopping and dress up - my boyfriend doesn't get it.

But they're just things we like to do - it doesn't define who we are. And dressing nice definitely doesn't make me shallow or vain or anything like that. I couldn't care less what other people wear, and I don't think I'm all that great looking - I just feel more comfortable when I'm presenting myself in a way I think I look good.

And I know it's not a way every guy finds the most attractive - but it makes me feel happy and more secure in myself. Happier.

Which is a much better look that shuffling round, miserable, with my head hung low because I'm wearing something which - all be it low maintenance - doesn't make me feel comfortable.

blufrenzy93 · Answer

Definitely A. Honestly, why does looking nice mean I'm "dressing up" ? Anyway here's my journey:

-Near the end of 8th grade, I started pinning my hair up and wearing cute clothes. At that point, I was getting over my insecurities of my pointy ears and my large birthmark on my chest (not that I was wearing low-cut tops or anything). Just overall body issues.

-Freshmen and sophomore year completely stripped away my identity. It was all about wearing A&F, Aeropostale, sweats, etc. Completely different than my 8th grade year.

-Near the end of junior year going into senior year, I broke away from the chain.

-Now in college, I'm trying to be completely my own person by wearing cute clothes/shoes, trying out different makeup techniques, etc.

So my point being is that I look the way I do because of my past experience in life. In no way am I trying "too hard" to look good. I like putting together outfits and trying new things because that's who I am. If a guy doesn't want to approach me due to some stupid preconception, then it's his loss.

Aethera · Answer

I dress NICE, but I don't know where you draw the line between dressing nice and being a fashionista. I don't weardesigner clothes, I don't wear make up, I don't put in hair extensions. I don't do any of that over compensating stuff. Pretty much I look the same when I wake up from when I go out. But it sounds like you're saying you like a girl who puts no effort into her appearance and that sounds sloven to me. I do my hair because I would look like a crazy hobo if I didn't and I wear clothes that look good on my body and are from this decade. I don't have a purse thing but I LOVE shoes. I don't dress to compete with other girls I just like to look cute. Personally for me, I like to dress cute because when I was growing up I couldn't dress cute because I was fat until adulthood.

I'm really curious as to what you're calling "nice" because I don't think making an effort to wear clothes that fit you, flatter your figure, match, and you think are nice is some sort of red flag for insecurity. I'm definitely not insecure and that's my dressing goal of the day.

Are you seriously saying you prefer a girl who just rolls out of bed and goes about her business? It reads like it.

xobrowneyedbeauty · Answer

ok well I said B but it's kind of a tie between A, B, and another option you don't have (at least for me). I want to be able to look in the mirror and think "wow I look good!" but that rarely happens ha ha but it's also a competition in a way (which is where the option that wasn't there comes in). the competition isn't just "oh I want to be the prettiest just because!" it's more of "i want to be the prettiest so that this guy likes me." I have self-esteem issues and I have the unrealistic assumption that if I can just somehow transform myself to be prettier than all the other girls then guys won't have any reason not to like me. I like myself and my personality but I personally see nothing about myself that should make a guy want to date me. since I can't change my personality (and don't know how to make myself more girlfriend material) I change the things I can to an extent, like my appearance. for some reason I find comfort in the thought that since I'm trying so hard, I might now be likable and guys might choose me over other girls. I'm pretty sure my answer just confirmed the fact that I have a problem. yea...don't take this as the reason for most girls. I think I'm just crazy... :(

Phoenix52 · Answer

I can't help it but be attracted to them for their looks. If they put the time in to look sexy, I'll want to approach them.

However, I can only do so if I look good myself. Groom my face and fix up my hair, wear a good combination of fashionable clothes, polish my sneaker boots, and put some cologne on. Honestly, it's a competition in physical attraction.

Othwerwise, if I look casual and laid back, I won't go anywhere near those girls because I don't feel I look presentable. My confidence is not good enough.

Although women mostly do it to beat the other females in attendance, it's also to get attention from the opposite gender just to see where their sexual market value resides. Take all the make up away, and sure, the girls will most likely drop a point in looks.

I'm currently dating a girl who hardly wears make up or wears the most girlie fashion style out there. If she put time into her looks, she'd be more attractive. I'm going to try indirectly telling her this at some point. But for now, I like her personality and she has some good agendas.

And for the girls I see at Walmart who are wearing sweatpants or Scooby-Doo/Care Bear pants ... for real? Did you just wake up and get out of bed?

Anonymous · Answer

I don't try to look good at all. I pretty much roll out of bed and go on about my day.

I used to try to look good but it's not even worth it. Guys don't even notice it and it's just too expensive buying all of those makeups, bags, accessories, nails, and stuff.

A lot of girls are saying they do it just to be able to like what they see in the mirror? But why can't they like what they see in the mirror without having to do all of those things? I think that it really is a competition that's influenced by the media.

I also think guys care a lot more about those little things that girls do to look good. They just think a lot of it is natural and it really isn't. I think that if guys really knew how most women would look au naturale, they would definitely prefer the high maintenance woman. Back in middle school and high school I used to get made fun of for not having walmart and dollar store clothes. Most of the people who made fun of me for that reason were straight guys.

I do not think this makes girl insecure, but it does make them pressured.

guy532 · Answer

This is a stupid statement/question (no offense).  If they want to dress up because it makes them feel better, let them and don't judge them as being shallow.  I find them so much more attractive when they dress up.  Some just do it because they want to look great that day.  Every now and then I like to dress nicely, should I be judged for that?  I have some more beef with you.  I have never had any insecurities about my size and am happy with what I have and I LOVE sports cars.  I don't have one yet, but will as soon as I get a chance and it has nothing to do with my manliness, the only reason I want one is because I love the thrill of driving like you stole it.  It's the same thing for women they dress up nicely because they like to, don't over analyze it.

Kattrain · Answer

WAIT. So this girl puts in an effort to look nice for someone (possibly even you!) and you think that determines whether you should date her or not?

That just means you are just as 'shallow', because you are still judging them on their appearance regardless which end of the spectrum you're looking at.

Personally, if I'm going to see my boyfriend or someone I like, I dress a little cuter. Just like if you like someone, you may go more out of your way to see them. Does that mean you're a stalker and obsessed with them? Of course not.

I also dress up for myself, I feel confident when I know I look good. And if you want to judge me because I decided to curl my hair for once and put on a dress, I don't want to date you, either.

Also, guys who own sports cars have money, not necessarily a tiny penis.

Anonymous · Answer

You are SO lame!

"i wouldn't want to date someone who cares about their appearance so much, they seem shallow and insecure. "

Oh yeah? Shallow and insecure? So you rather date an ugly pig instead? You sound like a desperate, ugly prick trying to rationalize big time something that is utterly false!

I'm so f***ing TIRED of all this anti-hedonism bullsh*t here around and always all around!

Maybe at one part guilty of this is the overchristianization of the USA... or maybe it's the hipster trend which spawned from some kind of trash lately!

Whatever it is... it sickens me! It sickens me that people are too feeble-minded to think of their own!

jesstacia · Answer

Because I'm straight and the gender I am attracted to seem to mostly consist of  visual creatures. Girls often learn that if they don't try their best to look their best, guys don't approach them as much; only a minority would. We're wired try attract as many potential mates as possible. I don't try too hard to look good. I wear whatever clothing is most comfortable and fitting but I do wear eyeliner. I take showers and brush my hair. If that's trying too hard to you, then you're going to have trouble being satisfied with the girls around you.

Anonymous · Answer

Because when I look good, I feel good. I do my makeup, my hair, and dress nicely to feel confident. People take you seriously when you take yourself seriously. When you look put together and good, people are nicer to you and more willing to help you out. My professors notice me more and are willing to help me out if I come to them with my sh*t together (work done, questions prepared and looking presentable...it shows I'm dedicated).

I don't "try hard", I try. There's nothing wrong with taking pride in my appearance. I don't do it because I'm insecure and/or shallow. It's human nature to want to be accepted and liked, so doing these kinds of things comes naturally to me and many other girls in this culture. I know that I still look good with no makeup or dressed in yoga pants and a tank.

I hate when guys try to preach inner beauty when they always go for the hot chick who piles on the makeup, has her nails done, etc.

nomnomchompsky · Answer

Girls all tend to be under the impression that they have to be way pretty than necessary to gain male attention a lot of the time. But can you blame them? We live in a society dominated by males, with a media depicting women through the lens of the male sexual imagination. Imagine if you grew up in a society completely dominated by women, and every representation of men you had ever seen in any kind of meaningful media suggested that the only value you really had was your attractiveness and ability to get women's attention.

If you can picture that situation for a moment, you can probably understand why.

Ponchi · Answer

Yes because every girl that cares about her appearance is a insecure, flaming whore and every girl who doesn't care is lovely and confident. I'm not even sure of this is a troll or not, but the reality is, your whole question makes YOU shallow, superficial and hypocritical.

Rather than passing judgement on someone for how they look, I suggest you judge their character as an indivisual.

stubbsy · Answer

I don't see a problem with girls trying hard and looking their best, it shows they have self respect and want to feel confident that when finished they are pleased with the effort they have put in, because a girl who doesn't bother usually has a poor attitude and couldn't care less what she looks like, which is harming her and no one else, so yes I like the fact that most girls make an effort, because its a pleasant experience to be around these girls who like to look good for themselves, so without wanting to know why they go to great efforts to look their best, I appreciate regardless,

oOsweet~o~nessOo · Answer

Yep some girls try waaaaay too hard.

Personally, I'm too lazy lol - I mean get up like 2 hours earlier in the morning to find the cutest outfit, glob on horrendous amounts of make up, make my hair salon perfect - ugh - just thinking about all that makes me tired.

Those dolled up days are occasional, shouldn't be an every day thing.

A lot of girls can't go out the house without some type of make up - and I think that's very sad. It forces women to lose sight of our natural beauty.

Now that's to say every girl should rock a pair of sweat pants and a hoodie to show that they're confident or whatev - I mean having a bit of style and femininity is always good.

I also think people shouldn't be so quick to label a girl who looks good as being insecure and what not - often that's how a lot of guys miss out on some great girls, assuming their either these conceited bitches or horribly insecure; sometimes us confident casual girls like to get dressed up for the fun of it :D

hikinggirl · Answer

not every girl that puts together a cute outfit wears designer clothes and hand bags.

and I don't care what your ex said ... it is not a competition for all girls.

for some girls it just makes them feel better about themselves to look more "put together"

and normally when a girl puts on makeup and puts on nice clothes it usually goes hand in hand

with a person who takes good care of themself and if they take good care of themselves most of

the time they can take good care of people they care about.

so don't come to conclusions about why girls actually GET READY every day.

you might actually like most of them.

it might surprise you how many girls are actually NOT in competition.

sunwolf94 · Answer

It's all about survival. Those who mate, survive. Those who are attractive can mate. Evolutionarily speaking, women have to rely on physical appearance more so than males to attract a mate. Males must have physical attractiveness, but also must have status and power in a society. All this is to ensure the best genes are passed on to the next generation, and ensure that that particular generation survives.

for this reason, men are attracted (and want to mate with) the prettiest woman. If you are telling the truth (and I somehow think you may be in denial) that you wouldn't date a woman who tried hard to look good then you are a statistical anomaly.

Maybe instead of judging people on outward appearance, you should get to know people instead. it's funny how you talk about a girl being beautiful inside and out, but you're judging so many women without even knowing them. Try harder to be less of a hypocrite.

yougotwhatineed · Answer

I think you're making a bit of a generalization. Yeah, women dress to impress other women or at least make friends...like, a great unique outfit is a great way to start a conversation.

also if I look in the mirror and my hair looks dumb or something I'll fix it...not because I'm like OH MY GOD, PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M SO UNATTRACTIVE! It's just because as a person, I like to take at least some pride in my looks, even if it's only for my own benefit.

guys try to look good too and don't pretend that's not true.

Eiffelgirl21 · Answer

I like to look clean, neat, and dress sophisticated. I don't

try so 'hard' I just try. I don't want to look like a slob..and I certainly

don't want to look lazy...there are days where you dress to impress, but

it's mainly to impress myself. I like to look good. And, there are days where I

just wear sweats and put my hair back with no make up...

And, I don't dress up to impress other girls. That is weird. I dress up to impress myself

and my boyfriend.

P.S- There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking nice. Thanks.

timetowaste · Answer

Because when you look good, you feel good. What's wrong with us wanting to look good? When I dress up or put makeup on, I don't do it for girls.. I don't even do it for guys. I do it because it makes me feel good, and you're more confident when you feel good.

dtaijo174 · Answer

Women are damned if they do damned if they don't. If she dresses to kill, she's materialistic If she wears sweats she's a slob that doesn't take care of herself.

I like a woman that takes care of herself when she needs to and one that can pull off the PJ's & ponytail too. There's a time & a place for both looks. If she can manage both I give her props.

And honestly, guys should be held to the same standards.

violetkarma · Answer

I love fashion and I love looking good. Dressing good makes me feel good, wearing high heels makes me feel sexy. If I wear sweatpants, I feel like a total slob. Now, while I like fashion, I can neither afford nor justify spending money on designer clothes. I know few women that do and those who do, don't expect men to be drawn to them for that label-it is more so that they found a brand the love, so they continue to buy it.

Sometimes I'll wear makeup, but it depends on the day. While I may notice what other women wear, it is not a competition.

As women, there is a lot of value places on our looks, we are taught this from birth. The expectations are higher and more rigid for women than for men. Just food for thought.

So yes, women don't really dress up for men (but I do like to look nice for my boyfriend), but it's not for a secret competition, either. At least for me.

saphirasilverwings · Answer

I try to look good for all of the above- myself, guys, girls. Classmates, teachers, job interviewers. I don't go overboard, but I try to look presentable for the public in general. That's what's expected of girls and we didn't all win the genetic jackpot. If I think I look better with a little makeup than without, why shouldn't I wear some?

I'm getting a little confused by your question though because trying to "look nice" and being obsessed with designer shoes are two totally different things. I do the first, but I don't do the second.

62893 · Answer

I guess it depends on what you consider "dressed up".

I hardly wear makeup and 90% of the time I'm in a Tshirt and jeans. I dress up for church, I dress up for nice occasions out (dinner with friends at a nice restaurant, going to a play/musical downtown, etc) and even then its just a dress or a top (nicer than a Tshirt) with shoes nicer than sneakers.

I think girls dress up for a variety of reasons. I go to an all girls school and there are two extremes...the girls who wear sweats and yoga pants everyday cause they don't care what other girls think (there are no guys to dress up for) or the girls who dress up everyday in dresses, heels, cute scarves, etc (either for themselves or in "competition")

Anonymous · Answer

I look good for myself and my  man and the way you look on the outside is usually a reflection of your inside. For me I don't give a f*** about what other girls wear... I care about what I look like and I wanna look the best I can be  because when I look  good on the outside.. I do feel so much better on the inside and I'm filled with so much confidence and that comes across as being attractive to guys. Don't get me wrong some girls don't even need makeup and they look really good but it does help bring out your best features. I think girls who dress up to look prettier than other girls for a competition is just stupid and very dumb... it just shows how insecure they are

Hey-you · Answer

I wear make up and dress the way I do because I like it and it makes me feel comfortable. I like wearing ripped jeans and red lipstick the way some people like wearing sweaters and yoga pants. It's just my style and actually, a form of self expression as well. I don't think it means I'm insecure or cocky or that I'm shallow and have nothing else to do. I just like feeling good about myself and looking 'nice' is obviously part of it, just like acing a test for example. Doesn't everyone? It doesn't mean I think I'm hot or that I look down on others or that I'm in a competition with the rest of the world.

The girls that you should watch out for however are the ones that BEHAVE like they're hot or whatever. Don't generalise and assume that because a girl likes looking good, she's automatically a shallow bitch because there's girls out there that don't give a sh*t about their looks and are shallow and bitchy anyway.

Kudos to Ponchi's comment below btw.

PagingCloud9 · Answer

I think that's kind of a blanket statement on all girls who dress up. I wear designer clothing because I like them and the pieces fit the style that I have at the moment. I don't care if other people notice (or don't notice) what am I wearing because I'm not in a competition with anyone but myself(since I always strive to look my best). I usually don't wear makeup for the most part but every now and then I would throw on a mascara or eye shadow (I don't wear foundation ever). I honestly would much prefer to be judged by my actions and the things I say not by the fact that I'm not wearing sweat pants. If we had a conversation and you walk away believing that I'm shallow then that's fine but you can't just look at someone and make up your mind that they're shallow and insecure. Who's to say that the girl who lives in her hoodie and sweatpants would be not vapid and full of insecurities? You can't judge a book by it's cover.

themastaplan · Answer

what are you talking about?

not all girls TRY hard to look good...a lot of them are just naturally beaufitul...

if you're talking about girls who LOAD up make up - then yeah I'm with you, gross as sh*t...when you can see a layer of make up on their cheeks or forehead, regardless of how "hot" they are...immediate turn off and I have no intensions of going after them

but yo, be careful how you word your qeustions and how you ask this to a girl dude, you're just asking for it lol

samm2012xx71 · Answer

I wear no makeup and don't even own any, hair is in a bun or ponytail unless I just got out of the shower, and my wardrobe consists of sweatpants, jeans, tank tops and tshirts, and sweatshirts.  I only own sneakers.  my idea of dressing up is straightening my hair and wearing a nice shirt, and I'm 110% okay with it.  I am beautiful and strong and don't care about other people's opinion on my choice of shirt because I'm comfortable and that's all that really matters.

Katyperry · Answer

:Its NOT that were trying so HArd to look good for everyone or for guys, it was just were trying to make our self to feel great, to feel good and to be comfortable and most of all to show who really we are...   because for me "IT doesn't matter what people think about you, Its about how you think about YOURSELF!" people may give you positive and negative comments about how they think abt you BUT never ever let yourself put you down  because ONLY you and yourself knows who you really are! Hope you get my point :) Takecare and Godbless :)))

drummerdude25 · Answer

I like girls that are naturally beautiful... They don't have to try as hard to look good, they don't need to cake their faces with make-up, and they still end up as the prettiest-looking women out there, IMO.

But obviously, what's inside is what ultimately counts, and will determine whether or not a man wants to be with a woman. A woman's personality is what determines TRUE beauty to another individual, what seals the deal... For example, there are tons of just like... absolute BABES out there, lol that honestly, I wouldn't want to be with, because they just don't click with me. Like that's just how it is... There's something there, or there isn't.

And sometimes, she isn't even the "hottest" girl in the bunch... Just depends on the person truthfully.

Anonymous · Answer

Jeezus christ. Now we can't even look good?

What about us liking to dress up? Sure we might do it to impress other girls, that's just the way it is. I know when I see a girl who dresses nicely, I recognize that, and tell my boyfriend. He's usually like, I don't care, but still. I notice regardless.

I dress up because I like feeling better about myself. I like fashion, so I make an effort. When I'm in sweats and stuff, sure that makes me feel comfortable, but not put together. It just makes my day a little bit better when I feel good about myself.

I highly doubt you'll date a girl that never wants to dress up, or take care of her appearance. You must be seriously joking, or you think girls are perfect/must wake up looking perfect to have no makeup or not take care of their appearance to some extent.

RosaliaVanderbilt · Answer

I think that's just as shallow as dating someone just because they're hot.  Yes, I always wear heels and make-up and pencil skirts, but does that mean I'm a raging slut who's going to cheat on you with your best friend?  Maybe I just want to look pretty.

Anonymous · Answer

do girls who wear sweats and no makeup and don't try at all to look "pretty" not seem like they have very low self confidence? sometimes it takes self confidence to dress in nicer clothes. girls who are insecure about their bodies will sometimes be insecure about wearing nice clothes because they don't think they can pull it off. on the other hand, insecure girls can also be the ones who dress up really, really nice because they think they have to overcompensate. you can't generalize like that. it is unfair to make general assumptions. god damn stereotypes.

zalikawashere · Answer

I do it for myself and it gives me something to do like I love painting my nails I have tons of bottles of nail polish it's fun changing my shades every week and learning new designs and techniques. Make up is the same too Iove learning new make up tips but don't get me wrong it's not a big deal if I don't have any on.l Ever since we were little girls have always dressed up, I don't really but the occasional skirt is fine. And I buy nice clothes because I can afford them, as simple as that. I may admit I would also be embarrassed to wear fake uggs or old navy or walmart clothes.

foreveryoung2010 · Answer

Well, I'm not sure on how to answer because I guess I don't understand your definition of 'dressing up'. I like to look nice. Is that a bad thing all of the sudden? I'm not obsessed with brand names or anything, I just want to be able to present myself in a manner of which I will be respected. I don't want to be a girl that walks around looking like she rolled out of bed and went on her merry way. I don't cake on make-up, .. (your definition of 'dressing up'?) I prefer natural looking. Maybe if you update your question with your definition of dressing up then I would be able to answer better.

CatholicVirginia · Answer

I don't try hard to look good. Every day I do my hair and usually a very little bit of makeup so I look presentable and feel put together. I lke to show a confident face to the world; I wouldn't leave the house in sweats and messy hair because that just seems slothful to me. However, when hanging out at my place or with my friends, I'll dress down and relax. I don't really feel the need to impress, at least on a regular basis.

But when girls dress cute, yeah, it's mostly for other girls. Yes, we like to look nice, clean, and pretty for men, but the person who is REALLY going to notice how adorable our dress is is not the guy in class, but our best friend or female coworkers. And sometimes I do look for these compliments. I love when people love my dresses the same way I do.

I don't see it as overcompensation. I like to take pride in the way I look. I like my outward appearance to reflect my personality.

chriiistelkelly · Answer

I honestly don't care whether I look good to others or not. if I don't wanna straighten my hair, or put on makeup, I don't give a sh*t. I'll wear what's comfortable. also, not ALLL girls try hard to look good. they just naturally look beautiful.

katherinefairchild · Answer

I dress nicely and do my makeup because I take pride in how I look. I'm not insecure, I'm not cocky either. I just think people who dress like bums...well, they look like bums. I'm not saying everyone has to dress in designer or even more expensive clothing. But I still like to look nice.

uglyswan · Answer

Hmmm... yeah, you're right, it's not about guys. But it's also not about other women. Ok, so some girls do it to attract guys, and others do it to compete with other women. But for me, and for most girls I know, it's because it makes US feel good. It's a girl thing. It's just that. It may seem shallow, but so? You guys enjoy several shallow things, and it's OK, just because it makes you feel good. Why do I feel good when I look nice? I don't know, I just do. Doesn't mean I'm a stuck up, shallow, insecure, empty headed bitch.

LaLa19Inu7 · Answer

Because media's a bitch...and feeds lies to girls who don't know what to believe and what not to believe. I'm one of the lucky girls...the media does not dictate my life. I don't wear makeup often, I don't plan on getting married ever, I hate wearing dresses, I don't compare my body to celebs, I don't get jealous of pretty girls...I admire them...or am neutral, I don't shave my legs every single day or week if I don't want to, and etc...

As far as I'm concerned...the media feeds on girls' and everyone's insecurities and makes money and news off of it...and that absolutely disgusts me. The media is the biggest bitch there is. People should beware.

My message to girls = STOP LISTENING TO WHAT THE MEDIA TELLS YOU! STOP EATING UP THE LIES! AND JUST BE YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF! BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE, NOT A SECOND-RATE VERSION OF SOMEONE ELSE! PLEASE!

<3

justlilly · Answer

I don't think I dress nicely to compete with other girls most of the time. Sometimes that is the case, but typically when someone has given me the reason to act that way (like my ex-best friend who would always steal guys away from me by throwing herself at them on a level that she knew I would never fall to). It also isn't because I feel bad about myself because I don't always have to dress up or even wear make up. I think it is mostly because I like nice clothes and so I wear them simply because I like them and I just enjoy looking extra cute sometimes. Not that I am not cute all the time, because I think I am, I have healthy self esteem. But when the occasion calls for it, I like to wear cute clothes and fix my hair really cute and makeup. That is all.

Annie3434 · Answer

Here's the way I view it (and it's an extremely personal view that probably not many can relate to) : I'm heading off to ROTC to be a medic. After basic and what not, I feel like my "attractive" days will be over. I can't be applying make up and taking care of myself in a war zone, nonetheless, when I get back, I'll have no idea what fashion trends will be "in". I gotta take advantage of the days that I have left of being decently fashionable and wearing make up.  Also, its nice to like the reflection looking back at you in the mirror. You feel healthy and confident!

SweetAsSugar15 · Answer

Well not all of the girls are the same . for me I like to look really good so that  when I look at the mirror I will be like, :) I like it but I don't dress up nicely just bcz of the people . it doesn't mean that I don't care abt the people but its like I want to look pretty all the time and its something in us (we girls ). And some girls like to show off while the rest don't look pretty so they will try to look good by dressing up nicely  and by putting makeup and that works sometimes ! If the girl is confident then she won't put much makeup but she will dress in a nice way. Lastly , we all wanna look good.

gemglam · Answer

I like to look well out together when I leave my house. Although I am down to earth,i have to iron everything so I look neat. I don't do it for attention or because I am insecure. I do it because I love how different colors. I like various styles. I could be a punk rock chick one day and a casual gym coach the next. Its definitely not about trying to look prettier than another female.  That's chd's play. I would like to beleive that grown women don't do that but I could be wrong.Women don't need to dress to impress a man, all we need to do is walk down the street wearing rags and they would want us. That's the nature of things

goflipaburger · Answer

Unlike a lot of girls who have commented already, I actually DO overcompensate due to my main insecurity. It's not a big deal and I get rewarded by society for doing so :P The only person I'm hurting is myself, and I know and accept that with a mild bitterness :P

.. although it has little to do with "dressing" up. My insecurity doesn't involve make up or clothes. To the great majority I'm not "beautiful" on the outside unless I comply with this specific norm. It sucks, but that's just how life is for some people. We can't all be beautiful.

And this particular situation and system of rewards isn't to please just women. Its for both genders and mostly men including my partner and friends and family. It works out.

windy-rose · Answer

It really doesn't take much longer in the morning to throw on a nice shirt and skirt than it does to throw on a scrubby t-shirt and jeans. I defiantly bounce between the two on a day to day basis. I just "dress up" on the because I like these clothes basis. Or depending on the weather that day.

That's probably the biggest factor being I walk to campus.

Granted my choices of style fall more on the artsy-quirky side than the well-dressed preppy look.

(which is what I'm assuming your referring to?)

All the more make up I don is mascara because my eye lashes are non existentially pale and under the eyes foundation because I'm usually strung out on coffee. Basically making myself look normal instead of half asleep. My hair looks fancy-ish naturally, so long as it stays trimmed, there are days I don't even have to brush it to look good.

I don't think 10min is that much work to look chic.

Hidden_P · Answer

I wear make up, and I try to make sure clothes look nice on me. I don't "dress up" really, I just try and look presentable. The reason I do it is because I don't feel like an attractive person. Whatever people say, I do not feel attractive. I have a nice(ish) face and if I can get one thing right in a day, I'm happy. I love to put dark mark up on, if I'm sad, I can hide behind it, and when I'm angry my glares pack more of a punch. When I didn't wear it, my ex would go "awwwwwwwwww you're eyes are so cute and tiny!" Another reason why - I have REALLY small eyes so by adding make up and flicks and such, I make them look much larger than they are.

I don't try and have a competition. Occasionally I'll ask do I look prettier than her or something but it's not because I've put make up on, it's usually for another reason why I've asked.

helplessromantic92 · Answer

On the days that I do dress up, I do it because I like feeling pretty.  My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful all the time, but I like feeling pretty.  More than just how I look when I put on a tshirt and jeans.

Anonymous · Answer

i honestly don't care what I look like when I leave the house..sure ill put make up on..but I don't cake it on.. I wear a tiny bit..and don't brush my hair at all.. its super long and hasn't dreadlocked or anything I get tons of complements on it...by doing nothing..so I leave it as that..

brunettebelle · Answer

Girls, why do you try so hard to look good?

1. Women have always been pressured to look good - the media, friends, family.

3. It sets their social way of living.

2. Some girls actually like to wear make up and have a great style - it feels right to them.

Image is always a huge thing and the standards of it ALWAYS change yet old styles tend to come back in new ways. Men may say that they don't like it yet they find the "dolled up" looks more intruiging; it looks more appealing to the eye.

Just out of curiosity, what made you ask this?

Girls, why do you try so hard to look good?

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Girls, why do women spend so much time taking care of their looks?

Girls, why do you try so hard to look good?

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Girls, why do women spend so much time taking care of their looks?

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