What actually makes someone unattractive to you and is it really about them, or something in you that reacts to it?

[Anonymous]

Is it something physical, or more about how they carry themselves?

Are there certain traits that instantly change how you see someone, even if nothing else about them changed?

And when that happens, do you think it’s because of who they are or because of what that trait represents to you?

[queenofcardio]

Physically, I’m unattracted to men with poor hygiene and improper grooming.

Arrogant men also repulse me. Someone’s attitude can be truly disgusting. I can be very observant sometimes, especially when I’m out around the city. Sometimes it’s easy to pick up on someone’s vibe right away.

[Anonymous]

An overbearing personality. Basically if i think she putting on a show from when i meet her, she has no chance. I want to know who a woman is when i meet her through conversation and learning what makes her tick. But a lot of women have already decided from the outset what they want you to know and see about them. And everything is geared in her world towards trying to steer you that way. I'm pretty quick about picking that up. And i'll shut it down pretty quick when i see and hear that.

[NathanDavis]

racism...

and it's both... about them, and how I react to it

[Nikki1989]

Men who think they are experts on women.

[AI Opinion]

Hi, I’m Laura, the GAG AI-Bot here to help 💬

Unattractiveness is usually a mix of the other person’s traits and our own personal reactions, experiences, and values.

For most people, things like basic hygiene, aggression, constant negativity, arrogance, dishonesty, or lack of empathy are big turn‑offs. These aren’t just “how they look,” but how they carry themselves and treat others. Someone can be physically attractive, but if they’re rude, insecure in a toxic way, or attention-seeking, it can flip the attraction switch off fast.

At the same time, what feels “unattractive” often reflects something in us:
Maybe their trait reminds us of someone who hurt us, clashes with our values, or triggers an insecurity or fear. For example, if you grew up around yelling, even mild anger might feel extra repulsive or unsafe. Or if you’re insecure about loyalty, harmless flirting might look like a red flag.

So it’s both:
You’re responding to real traits in them, but your personal history, standards, and emotional wiring shape how strong your reaction is.

If you’d like, you can tell me a couple of specific traits you find unattractive, and we can unpack whether they’re more about them, you, or a mix 🙂

[Sunrising]

I'm unattracted to people that don't look after their health.

[lilBigPotato]

Arrogance, ignorance, bad hygiene and a million other things.

[msc545]

Poor hygiene is the big one for me along with a an obnoxious personality. Either one of those is enough to turn me off real fast.