My mom says I'm average-medium looking...so am I screwed?

[Anonymous]

i am a 23 year old girl and I've NEVER EVER had a boyfriend. people have brought up the topic of marriage or asked me if I had dated ever before...

this gets me thinking, is it because of my average looks that no guys are really interested in me and the ones that are are really creepy or undeniably ugly?

my mom is trying to set me up with a few of her friend's sons, and frankly, I'm a bit offended that she would do that. it's like I can't lure in a guy with my own feminine charms

are average looking girls better off not obsessing over boys and just concentrate on their studies and whatnot?

What can average-ish looking girls do to get a boyfriend at this stage in life? or should I just give up thinking most boys around their early 20s are interested in the C cup, blond, long hair, 110 lb barbie types?

[udolipixie]

My mom says I'm average-medium looking...so am I screwed?

In my opinion you're only screwed if you seek physical attraction or aren't willing to consider guys much older than you.

Is it because of my average looks that no guys are really interested in me and the ones that are are really creepy or undeniably ugly?

Most likely as it seems most guys pursue the most attractive gals and the ones that don't are mainly unattractive guys.

Are average looking girls better off not obsessing over boys and just concentrate on their studies and whatnot?

Yes as I think gals of every attractiveness are better off not obsessing over guys and concentrating on studies and improving themselves.

What can average-ish looking girls do to get a boyfriend at this stage in life?

Depends on what type of guy you want for a boyfriend:

- be sexually available if you want a guy your age or near it as it seems guys are interested in two things- sex and looks

- be friendly and welcoming if you want a guy much older than you as it seems such guys highly value younger gals so likely you'll have little trouble

Or should I just give up thinking most boys around their early 20s are interested in the C cup, blond, long hair, 110 lb barbie types?

Perhaps it's best suited to give up that thinking as it seems more like guys are interested in physically attractive young gals of varying breast size, hair color, hair length, and weight. Seems the only commonality in guys thinking are high unrealistic youth/beauty standards.

[Asker]

i actually do want a physically attractive guy, not too attractive, just at least decent looking enough, and tall at that, but I know I can't ask for more because I'm not a sex-bomb.

in what ways can I be sexually available to men? like how would I show them that I'm open to sex (not that I want to be that kind of girl), but just out of curiousity...

[udolipixie]

Probably best to aim for not repulsive and a few inches below average as if you're American as it seems even preferring '10'' the average height is asking too much for gals that aren't sex-bombs.

Perhaps I should have been more specific I meant 'sexually available to him' as in once you find a guy flirt, tease, and touch him in a sexual manner that way he knows sex is a sure thing for him. It seems far better to be sexually available to one guy that to guys in general.

[Asker]

oh I see, but you can't just go up to a random guy who isn't showing any interest in you or hasn't approached you, and start touching him all over the place. lol.

i'm scared of approaching guys unless he's giving me really strong signs of interest through eye contact or body language.

[udolipixie]

The sexually avaiable to him comes after he's displayed interest in you. Most guys want some assurance that the gal is going to f*ck him and do it enthusiastically and consistently.

[Asker]

Oh

[Anonymous]

You aren't screwed. That's pretty f***ed up what your mom said though. Most people meet through friends or family. There's no shame in your mom setting out up. Just have fun with it.

[Asker]

well, I'm really embarrassed and my self esteem plummeted to -100 as soon as my mom asked me if I would be liked to be set up with a nerdy Asian kid

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe just take it for face value as an experience. Its nothing against you may e he could be a good friend. Consider it a practice run. Don't let it bring you down though.

[stillagoodgirl]

No I heard guys approach more average looking girls and guys don't want a skinny stick they want curves

[Asker]

you have answered 3 of my Q in a row, coincidentally...

[stillagoodgirl]

I'm answering all the style questions in order or that could be why

[Asker]

I don't know why this Q would be placed in the style section...

[stillagoodgirl]

Maybe because it deals with looks

[JustWantToTalk]

Not many girls will get a boyfriend by walking down the street and grabbing a guys attention through looks along ( call it feminine charms all you want ), and even if you do, you wouldn't want a guy who chases a girl so easily.

You will most likely meet someone through friends/family. If you do not embrace this, you will probably be a very lonely girl...

Am I saying drop your standards, no, just be more open minded about MEETING people.

[Asker]

well, how do most attractive girls meet their boyfriends? don't they get introduced through friends family as well? I mean I know most guys won't just randomly go up to a very attractive girl...

[JustWantToTalk]

Most meet them through their job or friends.. I haven't seen any through family yet ( but I'm sure it happens sometimes ) Just be open to meeting people, it can't hurt can it?

[Asker]

i'm a bit introverted and have homebody tendencies...i don't really go out much on weekends and if I do, it's usually with my mama.

i don't have any friends, either.

[JustWantToTalk]

I'm an introvert too. You don't have to talk constantly... most people are drawn to people are are interested in others. You have to develop a genuine interest in the lives and activities in the people around you. Just remembering names, stopping to take time to say hello, and remembering what is going on in that persons life is enough to get the opposite gender attention. You have a steep learning curve young introvert, but introverts tend to learn quickly :P

[Pebyron]

Don't give up

But don't trip

My brother dated a less than average girl for maybe 3 years and they moved in together

You could try dressing yourself up

However, not every guy likes the barbies

I do

But not always

[Asker]

i do put effort into my appearance, and diet. I just need to do something with my hair...i'm deciding whether to get it straightened (which most guys seem to prefer) or leave it as is, which is casual and wavy.

[Pebyron]

I like straight hair on girls

I also like dyed hair

It would really help if you posted a picture or something

[toouglytobeloved]

the problem is your not asking any guys YOU want out and your over judging and rejecting the guys that ask you out

its not only the guys job to make the first moves etc girls can too and is more perfered nowadays

[Asker]

But it seems as though if a guy really is very much intetested in a girl he will sooner or later approach her...i think most guys get turned off by women who are too aggressive. And I'm very shy, so I don't think approaching a guy myself would be an option

[toouglytobeloved]

maybe, but according to your Q they did but you didn't want them, but ill never ask a girl out, no matter what, because I was never wanted when I tried, and no, guys don't get turned off by girls who make the first moves, and a girl making moves doesn't make her aggressive

so... if you want a guy than you have to make the first moves, guys get rejected, girls usually don't in my experiences

[Anonymous]

Average doesn't mean ugly, so you're not screwed unless you want the best of the best men coming at you. Then again, that would depend on what you consider the best and what those guys consider the best, wouldn't it?

[Asker]

yeah, well I think I can do a tiny bit better than the (few) guys that approach me...

and yes, you do have a point. just wish I had more sex appeal, surely then I wouldn't be single.

[taster]

"Average looking" is pretty vague...I would think that you should not have much problem...I might well be interested in an "average looking"..so long as she is slender...(:(:(:

[Asker]

you have a pt.

[dawnfang]

Average looking is not specific, plus everyone has a difference opinion on what is attractive. It is better to be average looking then ugly.

[Anonymous]

Average looking people, there are plenty of those who find someone.

I think it has much to do with personality. I've known "average looking girls" who I felt were beautiful in my eyes.

[Asker]

aiyayay.

[Cookie1995]

Barbie girls are certainly not for me. I much prefer fun feisty girls who like to have fun rather than worried about their nails etc.

[SadTruthPanda]

Average and less than average girls can hook up with hot guys...they just can't keep them around. Problem is, all women go for the top 20% of guys (looks).