Shy girls and folding arms?

[Anonymous]

Shy girls do you fold your arms sometimes when talking to someone you like? Like you don't know what to do with them?

[Xeraph]

Folding arms has nothing to do with liking someone - who gave you that impression?

Quick read up:

Crossing
Arms can act as the doorway to the body and the self. When they are crossed, they form a closed defensive shield, blocking out the outside world. Shields act in two ways: one is to block incoming attacks and the other is a place behind which the person can hide and perhaps not be noticed.

Crossed arms may thus indicate anxiety which is either driven by a lack of trust in the other person or an internal discomfort and sense of vulnerability (that may, for example, be rooted in childhood trauma).

The extent of crossing indicates how firmly closed the person is. This may range from a light cross to arms folded to arms wrapped around the person. An extreme version which may indicate additional hostility is a tight close with hands formed as fists. If legs are crossed also then this adds to the signal.

The hands in an arm-cross may also be used to hold the person in a reassuring self-hug, for example holding upper arms in a folded-arms position or wrapped around the torso, holding the sides. If the thumbs are up, this may indicate some approval or agreement with what is being said.

Crossed arms, especially when holding one another can show the person to be trying to keep themselves still. This can be to suppress any signals. It may also indicate repressed anger (I have to hold myself to prevent myself hitting you). In some cultures it also signals that the person is holding themself still so they can pay greater attention to you (and is hence a compliment).

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[Xeraph]

Crossed arms, especially in a folded position can just mean the person is feeling comfortable, especially if there is little tension elsewhere in the body. Comfort indicates a lack of fear which may come from being with friends or may be because they feel sufficiently powerful to handle any attacks as they appear. Folded arms with a little more tension may indicate that the person is feeling judgemental.

When arms are not crossed, they expose the torso and the person, making them more vulnerable. This signifies comfort that often indicates trust. It can also be power position that dares the other person to attack whilst knowing that the other person dare not.

Crossed arms is a very obvious signal and if you do it in front of other people they will likely feel rejected and respond accordingly (including not agreeing with you).
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[Xeraph]

Note that not all crossed arms are defensive, for example when the person is relaxed (as indicated above). Crossed arms are also used when the person is cold (this is typically done with hands tucked under armpits to keep them warm).

A common method sales people use with a customer in order to break the customer's crossed-arms closed position is to give the person something to hold or otherwise ask them to use their hands.

Source: changingminds. org

[AleDeEurope]

It's a common habit on insecure people, and people who trust nobody, as it's a way to protect yourself. You show the other person that you're not 100% comfortable in that situation, and that you don't trust.

[Asker]

Wow I was only talking to her about a film!

[AleDeEurope]

Well, I didn't know that, I was focusing more on a stranger or not so well known person, talking to a shy person.
But still, shy, insecure people tend to feel like everybody is judging them at any moment. When you were talking about that film, she was probably thinking on what you were thinking about her, how did you judge her.

[Asker]

Blimey poor girl, I really, hope I don't make her that uncomfortable. I have noticed her confidence levels are different day to day.

[AleDeEurope]

Should have asked this before: Did she fold her arms trying to make herself smaller, or was she just doing it for comfort?

[Asker]

she was leaning forward facing me in her chair

[AleDeEurope]

Well in that case I think she was doing it for comfort. Plus, when someone leans forward when you're talking is a sign that she is interested in what you're saying, and comfortable too, because she's reducing the personal space.

[butterface]

When I do this, I'm having some inner conflict or feel uncomfortable.
By inner conflict, I mean, the person might be someone that I'm not "supposed" to like or I could be undecided about whether the feeling was mutual and folding my arms is then a kind of defense against rejection.

[OnceUponADream143]

I just always fold my arms cuz I'm insecure and I kind of feel "safer that way" Shy people fold their arms, hug them selves, etc they just close the selves off or have closed body language because they feel more comfortable that way.

[Asker]

Ok I get that but we've known each other for 4 years!

[OnceUponADream143]

still, I do that even if I know someone for a life time. lol. It's just natural shy behavior. :)

[ladymcbeth]

Yes, sometimes. I try not to though. I'm also cold natured so that makes me do it too.

[pari_sn]

Not really. Some people have habit of doing that, other may use hands movement.

[Asker]

She is always fidgeting when talking to me. Whether it be pulling at her sleeves or touching her neck, or scratching her face, and folding her arms.

[pari_sn]

Yeah may be bcz she is nervous when she talks to u. sometimes If a girl like u then she will seem confuse or nervous While talking to u. But not everyone is same.

[Asker]

Why would she be nervous though? I scare her?

[ladymcbeth]

She's nervous for the same reason guys get nervous... she likes you and wants to make a good impression.

[meatballs21]

It's defensive body language, you are crossing your arms for added protection. I don't know why they're doing it and worry that something about me is making them do that.

[CommieKiller]

I think they do that to cover up their boobs a lot of the time.

[Klaatu51]

folding arms mean nothing i believe

[creativeusername101]

that's not shyness, it's a sign of discomfort.

[Anonymous]

I never know what to do with my arms