Is a smack on the butt just playful or does it mean more?

[Anonymous]

I've been in an on again off again "relationship" with a guy for two years. We have lived together now for almost 8 months. He says that he doesn't want to be with me because he's not attracted to me. Yet, we often take showers together. He sleeps in my room almost every night, even though I told him that everytime he sleeps in my room I think it means something. He says he sleeps in my room because it's more comfortable. And to me it feels like we have a relationship since we divide household duties by stereotypical gender roles.

Then yesterday something odd happened. I know this is SO silly to post here since I'm older and should disregard it. But I am SO clueless about my status with him. I'm wondering if this incident was at all telling of what he wants.

Yesterday, I went out fishing with him and his cousin. This is the second time I really hung out with his cousin. His cousin and i were looking at the water scouting a good place to cast when he came up behind me and smacked my butt real hard. So naturally i playfully chased him down and smacked his butt a couple times. So juvenile.

Anyways, he's never done that in piblic. I kind of wonder if he felt threatened by his cousin. But then, why would he feel threatened if he doesn't want me?

It could have also been flirty but he hasn't really flirted with me, ever.

It could have also meant that he likes my behind, but he says that he's not attracted to me.

I DONT GET HIM!!

[usertaylor15]

I'm going to agree with shadowlegend on this. First decide what it is you want out of this. If you don't want a relationship this becomes easy. If you do but he doesn't it might be harder to do but still necessary. Whatever the case may be make clear rules and enforce them. If he has his own room that is where he needs to sleep period. Never take showers together and there should never be any kind of actions like him smacking your butt. If he can't accept that this is how it needs to be then he should start looking for a new place to live. As far as why he's doing this I honestly think he views you more as a booty-call someone he intends to use for his own ends regardless of how you feel. Also getting back together with an ex is never a good idea you guys split for good reasons and it's highly unlikely he has changed. I would suggest living with someone else whether it's a close friend or perhaps finding a new guy in your life.

[shadowlegend]

You should make the boundaries very, very clear. If you want a relationship and he doesn't then you should you tell him that what he is doing makes you feel like he likes you, so he needs to stop if that's not the case. You will only continue to be confused and hurt if you allow the situation to continue.